-01- When the child does not want to go to bed
Put it this way: 10 minutes before it's bedtime, wash up first or tell a story first?
Don't say this: don't go back to your room yet, it's so late, don't play, hurry! I've said it all over again!
Child's voice: Mom and Dad, I don't want to sleep if I'm not sleepy. Maybe I want to watch TV, maybe I want to do something funny, and I don't know what time is all about? As long as you set the time for bed and let me obey it, I will also set the biological clock of my body, and I will gradually develop the habit of sleeping on time. When you "say this" to me, I'll choose what I like to do and go to sleep naturally. However, when I am sick, I may still be an exception.
-02- When children do things grinding
Say something like this: We have 5 minutes to go, are you getting dressed now, or are you holding it? What bag are you going to bring?
Don't say this: are you still grinding there? We're going to be late, hurry up, hear no!
Child's voice: Mom and Dad, I didn't realize that I was rubbing, especially when playing with the toys I liked, I didn't have a concept of time. If you "say this" to me, I will follow your urging to make a choice.
-03- When the child says "no"
Put it this way: Okay, you can say "no," but I need to hear why you say "no" before I can understand you. Okay, say it.
Don't say this: children know what, how can you be so sharp, I am good to you.
Child's voice: Mom and Dad, when I say "no", I am trying my independence, I want to prove that I am growing up, maybe, I just can't accept your teaching, maybe, when you "say this" to me, I am learning not to be afraid of others, and to bravely express my true thoughts.
-04- When the child accidentally breaks something
Put it this way: it doesn't matter, this time you have experience, you won't get broken in the future. Everyone can go wrong, and so will I, so try to fix it.
Don't say this: You see you child, you have broken such an expensive thing, can I buy it for you next time?
Child's voice: Mom and Dad, when I broke things, I was nervous and scared. When you "say this" to me, I will feel that you understand me very well, and I will pay attention to it in the future.
-05- When children don't want to ignore us
Say something like this: Child, mom feels like you have something on your mind today. Can I help you? Talk to your mother, and you will feel comfortable. Can you understand that I'm worried about you?
Don't say this: I'm talking to you! What's going on, how come you kid ignores people!
Child's voice: Mom and Dad, in fact, I don't have anything on my mind, sometimes I want to stay by myself for a while, maybe, I am thinking about the secrets in my heart, maybe, I am thinking about what I think is important. When you "say this" to me, I realize that you care about me, and I may tell you what I am thinking.
-06- When children do not let others play with toys
Put it this way: Think about it, do you play for 5 minutes and then play for him for 10 minutes, or do you play for him for 5 minutes and you play for another 10 minutes, or do you give him another toy to play with?
Don't say this: you have to learn to share. Play with him for a while.
Children's voice: Mom and Dad, I especially like my toys, I really don't want others to play. I'm afraid he'll break it. When you "say this" to me, I might let him play, maybe play another one for him.
-07- When the child uses crying to achieve the goal
Put it this way: If you don't cry, let's see what to do. Quiet down, what do you want to say to me? ......
Don't say this: Cry, cry, cry, you know crying, is crying useful? How can I have a child like you.
Child's voice: Mom and Dad, crying is a useful weapon for me. I've been successful in using it before, and I've got what I want. So I'll try your reaction by crying; perhaps, crying is my way of expressing myself instinctively, and I haven't yet learned how to talk to adults. When you "say this" to me, you are patiently teaching me a new approach
