Many people who have been traumatized have a common fantasy: as long as we forget the past, it will not affect us anymore.
Unfortunately, this is not possible. Recovery is not forgetting. If you don't succeed in getting back to normal, forgetting doesn't help.
A psychologist who focuses on the recovery of past trauma, based on numerous cases, has summarized the golden rules for dealing with trauma, hoping to be useful to you.
(1) Successful recovery from childhood trauma is not done:
Forget what happened in the past.
Forgive your abuser – you were told to do this to recover, or were forced to do so. In short, it is not your own will.
So that everyone can "move on". Cover up the past with nihilistic "hopes" and "futures."
Become "cold", "numb", ignore or suppress your feelings, and pretend that nothing is happening.
Live a "normal" life and interact with the world in the way you are told you should.
Never feel frustrated, anxious, sad or angry again, but only feel "good and positive" and "keep it relaxed".
(2) Successful recovery from childhood trauma is often needed
Be able to acknowledge that you have experienced past events and realize that the events are over.
Acceptance, note: "Acceptance" simply means acknowledging what happened. And integrate traumatic experiences to form a narrative about your past experiences and how it affected you.
Identifying a boundary that is best, right, and true for you – physical, emotional, psychological – helps you feel safe as you move forward.
You have a variety of treatments for managing trauma symptoms
When encountering factors that trigger trauma, feel less restless and more emotionally calm.
Have better resilience when encountering factors that trigger trauma – especially when shame, guilt, and self-doubt arise.
No matter what kind of person society and your family prefers, move toward an external life that matches your inner life.
Improve your ability to feel yourself and express them responsibly and appropriately.
epilogue:
A psychological trauma in the past is like a knife inserted into your heart, and all you have to do is pull out the knife and heal your own wounds.
How to define recovery varies from person to person, but there's no doubt about it, but you can face up to past trauma and stop letting it affect your future life when you're recovering.