The sister-in-law has lived in my house for more than a month, and today the wife said to the sister-in-law: Sister, I found that you have come this month a lot lighter. The sister-in-law said: This is not the credit of the brother-in-law.? Wife Stand

The sister-in-law has lived in my house for more than a month, and today the wife said to the sister-in-law: Sister, I found that you have come this month a lot lighter. The sister-in-law said: This is not the credit of the brother-in-law.? The wife immediately became serious, and then asked: What happened to your brother-in-law? I was not convinced, and said: You see your sister, eating with me is very delicious, and the weight has increased a lot. The sister-in-law skimmed her lips and said: That's because flowers inserted into cow dung can absorb the nutrients in cow dung, and my flowers will only be smoked by cow dung!

2. Yesterday I ate fried sauce noodles with my girlfriend near the school. My girlfriend's noodles were served early, and they were almost finished, and my noodles had not yet come. I exhaled and called the boss: Boss, we are together with the noodles, she has eaten, what about mine? The boss looked at her with an apologetic face: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, your companion blocked you, I didn't see you.

3. The little uncle is about to get married, and the little uncle says to the husband: Brother, when I get married, get me a few more Porsche 911s, we have to have the card face. So the husband bought three Porsche 911s for the little brother-in-law, and the rest let a few buddies drive. On the day of the kissing, the mother's family was not very happy. Say to the little uncle: The ten wedding cars that received the kiss twinkled untidy.

4. I didn't go to high school, I went out on my own after the third year of junior high school, moved bricks on the construction site, and then learned to weld and worked as a security guard. And now that more than a decade has passed, every time I recall the sins of suffering I suffered when I was younger, I feel that it is a kind of wealth. Now, there are thousands of people who have to rely on me for food, and I always feel a lot of pressure, afraid that I am sorry for them. alas...... Not to mention that after school, the bear children are coming to eat.

5. Mom and Dad bought a house in the city, and in order to pay off the mortgage, Mom and Dad went to work in an electronics factory in a foreign country. I live in my grandfather's house in the countryside and often play hide-and-seek with my friends in the village. Usually I'm very nice to the puppies at home, so he follows wherever I go. Every time I play hide-and-seek, I don't care where I hide, as long as I see my puppy on the side and feel that I can find me. In order not to let the puppy follow, I threw him two steamed buns, while he was not paying attention to the bottom of the cabinet. To my surprise, I was not found by my friends, but the puppy found that I was missing after eating the bun and directly dragged me out from under the cabinet!

6. Since I was a child, I have hung a lot of paintings at home, and I can't read the signature, and then my family has no money to pay my tuition, so I want to take a painting to the antique market to try my luck. As a result, my tuition fee was solved, and after graduation, I picked out half a day, took a wrangling map, and the house was solved. Recently, I want to open a company, I have picked up the eyes, I don't know whether to take the shrimp or the horse. Choosing too much is like this, the heart is tired!

7. I was planning the future with my boyfriend, and my boyfriend said to me: From this month's salary, I will give you two thousand yuan a month. Three months later, we had a fight and I got angry and returned the money. After reconciling, I asked: What about money? The boyfriend said: After the quarrel, the mood is not good, find a group of friends to borrow wine to water the sorrows and spend it, and now save it again! After another three months, we quarreled, and I got angry and returned the money. Fast forward three months, and I was almost the end of the year, and sure enough, we had another fight yesterday.

8. I want to quit after 3 years of working at RT-Mart, but I have to deduct a month's salary for resigning! So I bought a pound of bananas to the office for the boss, and then peeled one for him to eat. Then said: "Boss, I want to resign, can you see?" Boss: "Yes, no problem!" Me: "I still have a month's salary, you see?" Boss: "No deduction, how about I give you another month's salary?" Me: "Well, thank you boss!" Boss: "Okay, now I can take the axe you have chopped on my desk!" ”

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #