1. Working overtime until late at night, the female colleague said that she wanted to walk with me, passing by a dark beard at the same time, she had to say that she was close. After ten years, she confidently said big words: "Don't be afraid, let go."

1. Working overtime until late at night, the female colleague said that she wanted to walk with me, and at the same time, she had to say that she would go closer. After ten years, she confidently said big words: "Don't be afraid, rest assured, I have learned Sanda, and I will protect you when something happens!" "Just like that, when we turned the corner of the path, we met a handsome man with a kitchen knife and jumped out!" She was very calm, first a scream, followed by a beautiful swivel kick, kicking the kitchen knife in the hand of the handsome man! Then I immediately took out the electric baton in my bag, coronaed her, then picked up the kitchen knife and handed it to the handsome man, and said softly, "I'm sorry, I didn't scare you." "It also scared me, took a few steps back and ran." Such a dark place, what if she hits me? As soon as I ran out of the woods, I realized that my female colleague was gone. The next day, I heard that a woman had an accident in the woods, and I was so frightened that I didn't dare to go to the company, and then I simply resigned. A few days later, a female colleague called me: "Brother, why did you quit?" I was stunned and said, "That night's events have nothing to do with me, I'm just going home!" The female colleague said, "Brother, what do you say?" The boss asked me to call you back, and the company has a lot of things waiting for you? I asked her, "Are you okay?" The female colleague said, "What can I do?" I weakly asked, "Is your boss the one underground?" What position did I go to, and could I be a judge? "Now, if I don't go, I can only bargain and ask for a good position!"

2. ↓ Went to Sanya, Hainan for a honeymoon with my wife, and my wife asked me to take pictures for her. She took a look at her phone and angrily said, "Why do you shoot me in the face so big?" Me: "Didn't you say you were going to shoot a close-up?" Wife: "Then come to Zhang Yuan." After the shooting, the wife was even more angry, she said: "Let you shoot me and the beach, why do you shoot like I crouched on the beach and pulled SHI?" Me: "You're big and short, and I can't help it!" ”

3. At a college reunion, a classmate exuded emotion when he was toasting. I often recall the good times we had together when we were students, when we were young and ignorant, did not know how to cherish, and now we fully realize that the emotions between us have long surpassed the love of classmates, friends, not relatives, better than relatives! After saying that, he put down his wine glass and gestured for a hug, and the classmates were also infected, and one by one they got up and hugged him and said something comforting. When he hugged a few female classmates, it was Xiaohong's turn, Xiaohong opened her arms, and he surrounded Xiaohong Zhou.

4. My girlfriend has been working under a lot of pressure lately, and she can't sleep every night. Her girlfriend's boyfriend gave her a pill and said, "This is the best sleeping pill on the market, and it will definitely work when you eat it!" After eating, the girlfriend fell asleep peacefully, and the next day the boyfriend still gave the girlfriend a pill. Half a month later, he said to his girlfriend: "Tonight you try not to take medicine, can you fall asleep?" "The girlfriend had the habit of sleeping for half a month and soon fell asleep. In fact, in addition to the brother's day, the boyfriend gives his girlfriend calcium tablets every day.

5. Accompany the sister-in-law to deal with the violation, I looked, my car for her a month actually had seventy or eighty violations, at that time even the people who did the work were stunned, she was very curious, suggested me to watch the video. So, the three of us began to watch the video, you said that the sister-in-law looked at the smart and beautiful, red light at the intersection, people directly turned left. The clerk looked at my sister-in-law with contempt, looked at me again, and whispered, "Brother, if it weren't for the fact that your car was Maserati, I would have suggested that you change cars." The sister-in-law was immediately angry, and reached out to beat her, and the two of them quickly fought together, and the clerk took the time to say: "Brother, I suggest you change people, find a gentle and virtuous one." "I didn't say a word, this is a sister-in-law, not a daughter-in-law, gentle and not gentle, what is the matter with me." But she does love to beat people, and I eat with her 25 times a month, at least 22 times. I looked closely at the clerk, the little girl seems to be good, I was wondering if I really wanted to change someone to drive my car? At this moment, the sister-in-law said: "Brother, hit her... Or go back and hit you at night! "I was scared as soon as I heard it, I ran out of the door, I had to hide in my girlfriend's house to see how she hit me?

6. Dad looked out the window and sighed, "Crops, how many crops have been damaged by this hail!" The old mother looked out the window and sighed: "Vegetables, tomorrow's vegetable price is going up again because of hail!" The younger brother looked out the window and sighed: "Girlfriend, I am going to pick you up against the hail, you must be moved!" I looked out the window and sighed: "My car, you have been hurt by hail, the insurance company must pay!" The wife looked out the window and sighed: "Romance, holding your lover's hand and walking in the hail is so beautiful!" The son looked out the window and sighed, "Oh my God, how delicious would it be if sugar had been added to this hailstone!" ”

7. Seeing that the daughter of the family next door was about to get married, the mother said: Daughter, I will teach you how to grasp the heart of a man. Daughter: This I will ah, is to grab his stomach first, I am a good cook. Mom said contemptuously: If this is what I still need to say on purpose? I am referring to the family heirloom stunt "Black Tiger Digging Heart", as long as he can't beat you, I will be relieved in the days to come. Daughter:......

8. Recently, I was unwell, went to the hospital for examination and found out that I was pregnant, and told my husband when I came home. Early this morning, my husband went out early and bought breakfast and a bottle of fetal repair. Holding my hand and saying to me, "You will definitely help the development of the fetus after eating." I watched it for half a day, directly threw it in the trash can, and asked my husband: "Where did you buy the fetal repair spirit?" My husband proudly told me: "Downstairs in the community, an uncle shouted and sold it." I scolded, "This is glue for repairing bicycle tires." ”

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #