Your heart, my story, you say, I listen! I'm Tingting, the psychotherapist around you!
During this time, I always brushed a teacher at Peking University, this teacher is a math teacher, holding a bottle of water every day, and walking around the campus with steamed buns.
When many people see this video, their first reaction is to feel that this person is particularly lonely, and they also feel that this person is not social, so everyone feels that this person is a special failure.
When you open the comments section of the video, you will find that many people are doubting the emotional intelligence of this person, thinking that even if this person is very smart, it is not good to do so.
In fact, many of us want to be the same as this person, but we can't do it, because we have the old and the young, and our ability is not enough, so we have to get some of the things we want by doing things for people.
However, as a teacher at Peking University, and so smart, a friend did not have him, but it confirmed his own strength.
When you mature, you will understand a truth:
There is a kind of person, not a single friend, but very powerful.
01. People with goals, don't playmates
In the past, when I was studying, the children on campus were also divided into several types.
Some children are lively and active, and the conditions in these children's homes are generally better, so they will be particularly confident and generous in dealing with people and things.
There are some children from better backgrounds who are also worse and shout in class, and these people will always play with other friends and form gangs.
Some children are relatively stable, these children look silent, but the furniture conditions are also good, the education of this child at home is also very good, not only has a good material condition, but also a good character, education and material security.
There are also some children who seem to be lonely, these children often walk in the school, but you always see him alone, the child is particularly purposeful, understand the knowledge can change the fate of the truth.
Therefore, these children often make special efforts, listen carefully to lectures in class, go to dinner alone after class, and rest for a while after eating to study.
Often this type of child has a good academic performance, at the beginning, the foundation may be weaker, but with their own efforts, it will become better and better.
People with goals don't need small partners, because these people understand their own direction, only because of this direction, so they can ignore some other things.
02. Strong people, no waste of time
Yesterday I watched a TV series like this:
Andy is a particularly intelligent person, doing a lot of things in the company, arranging his own time properly, getting up in the morning to run, running after running to eat breakfast, and going to work after breakfast.
What to do in the morning, what to do at noon, what to do at night... All are arranged in an orderly manner.
Through this incident, I can also see that this person is particularly strong, has strong performance ability, and has leadership ability in the company, and his time is money, and he never thinks about wasting it.
When doing things, it is very efficient, and when others want to do something with themselves, they want others to make an appointment with themselves early, and they can also have a plan.
Generally powerful people will not waste their time on others, because their own things are the most important, when others waste time, their time will become very urgent.
This kind of person knows that time is money, rather than spending time on others, it is better to spend time on yourself, make yourself stronger and stronger, do your own thing, so that your pressure will be less.
Such a person is also very smart, when you waste a lot of time for others, time for a long time, others will feel accustomed to it, this time you have not helped this person once, this person thinks you are a bad person, so make yourself stronger and stronger is the most important, do not waste too much time, in the unnecessary people.
There are some people who are not fed, sooner or later you will offend each other, rather than you pay a lot for each other, you offend each other, it is better to offend each other now, and then do not interfere with each other.
03. Don't ask for people, so don't bother people
As long as you become stronger and stronger, you will ask for less people.
I've seen a director's personality signature called:
"Do more useful things, ask for less people, exercise your skills, in order to be comfortable."
When you are getting better and better, you will no longer ask for people, and at this time you will not think of deliberately trying to seduce others.
There are some people who have a lot of partners around them, but in most cases, the relationship between these partners and themselves is not as good as it seems.
In fact, there is a kind of use relationship between people, and one day the value of your use in the minds of others is reduced, and others will be unscrupulous in their words to you.
Instead of thinking about how to seduce others all day long, it is better to seduce yourself, and when you seduce others, you have to spend your own thoughts.
When you are obsessed with yourself, you have to work hard to do everything well, improve yourself from the inside out, and use limited resources to make yourself better and better.
When you become better and better, others will run to you and snub you, at this time you are not so passive, you will become more and more powerful, no longer ask for people, you can really stand up.
Those who seem to be alone, not because no one likes to play with this person, but this person does not want to seduce others, because he is very strong, so he does not want to be in the same stream with others, and he has the ability to walk independently.
Just like a male lion walking on the hillside, it is particularly confident, because everything on the mountain does not threaten itself, so it can run freely.
But when a lamb is running on the mountain, it is particularly afraid, very afraid that it will suddenly become the prey of other people, so that its own life will be gone.
That's the difference between strong and weak, when you think about walking with a bunch of people, in fact, your ability is very small, so you have to rely on these people to be able to do things well, unity is strength.
People always think that one more friend, one more road, because one more friend is one more helper, and when you encounter difficulties, the other party will help you.
In fact, if you keep dragging the other person down, one day, the other party will also abandon you.
So life in the world, or rely on yourself, when you can help others, after you encounter difficulties, others are more willing to help you, otherwise, you have to look at other people's faces, live a life of people.
Remember one sentence at all times:
Relying on heaven and earth to rely on ancestors is better than relying on oneself.
Being good is really good, so young people must work hard, especially as a very ordinary ordinary person, they should improve themselves.
When you work hard and become a better person, those people will voluntarily come to you, and at this time you no longer have to deliberately fit in.