If parents who often pay attention to the news, they will hear or see some children on the Internet and around them from time to time, and even have painful extreme behaviors, and show a trend of younger age.
In the current education environment (although there is a double reduction, it is difficult to completely eliminate the anxiety of parents in the short term), many children are facing and bearing greater competitive pressure.
Under the pressure of competition, many children show an extremely fragile and overly sensitive psychology, which is what we commonly call the glass heart. This also reminds us that parents: children's mental health education cannot be ignored.
It is undeniable that compared with adults, children are not as good as adults in terms of psychological stability and ability to resist pressure, and they are more likely to show a vulnerable side in the face of setbacks. This requires us parents to help their children say goodbye to the glass heart and make the heart stronger through scientific guidance.
01 Children who are not understood by their parents are more likely to breed glass hearts
In life, some children can't listen to a little criticism, as long as the parents talk a little heavier, they will lose their temper, cry their noses, and even have an emotional breakdown.
In the eyes of many parents, the lack of frustration education in children is a lack of frustration education, resulting in a weak psychological endurance.
This situation does exist, so to improve the child's psychological endurance, we must help the child to enhance the psychological endurance in the face of setbacks and the ability to calmly cope with setbacks. But we can't ignore the possibility that children are emotionally overly vulnerable and glassy, not just because they experience fewer setbacks, but also because they are facing confusion that is not understood by their parents.
This category that is not understood by parents often focuses on learning, such as the pressure of learning, the pressure of further education, the pressure of interest development, and so on. As a result, more than once we hear children say they are "too hard" and that they are deeply eager to be understood by their parents. If they do not get the understanding of their parents, in the long run, some children will easily breed glass hearts.
02 A child's vulnerability is also closely related to the anxiety of parents
Every parent hopes that their child can succeed and change his fate through knowledge, so he constantly puts pressure on his child to learn, and is not willing to accept that his child has a little failure.
When parents are in this state of tension and anxiety for a long time, they will unconsciously project this emotion to their children, so that children will also fall under this invisible pressure.
After being driven by the anxiety of their parents, children will begin to be self-anxious, and it is difficult to face setbacks and failures in growth, nor can they accept their mediocre performance.
In fact, there is a very typical trait in the real successful person, that is, they are not afraid of failure. If we only want our children to succeed, but lack the cultivation of successful qualities and willpower, children will fall into the dilemma of "struggling and hesitating" on the road to growth, becoming more and more anxious, and becoming more and more vulnerable inside.
03 Use three educational techniques to help children become stronger inside
If we want to let the child say goodbye to the glass heart, we need to guide the child correctly. Using the following three educational techniques can help children become stronger inside.
1. The child is not eager to blame and correct the mistake first, but speaks to the child in a gentle tone
How to talk to the child is crucial, which will affect the child's psychology and emotions.
If we find that the child has made a mistake in the learning process, we are not in a hurry to blame and correct it, but use a gentle tone to talk to the child, which can eliminate the child's excessive nervousness to a large extent.
For example, if the child has a higher accuracy rate of homework when doing homework, but the writing is relatively sloppy, if we use the accusatory way to say to the child: "How can you write so ugly?" "This is bound to hit the child's self-confidence, even if the child corrects his mistakes immediately, he often corrects them with emotions."
We may as well put aside our anxiety and speak to the child in a gentle tone: "Your homework is done very well, the accuracy rate is very high, indicating that you usually listen carefully to the lectures in class, but if you can write more beautifully, it will be more perfect!" What do you think? ”
When we speak to the child in this way, in the child's view, the parent's expression is kind, and the child often accepts the parent's reminder with a very happy mood, and can actively correct his mistakes and shortcomings.
It can be seen that when we change a way of speaking, we will find that not only has the child's problem been successfully solved, but the child has not been affected by the negative emotions that may arise from this matter.
Here is a summary of the specific operation mode:
The first step is to affirm the child's strengths. First find out the advantages of the child and affirm the child's good side. This advantage is objective and concrete, rather than perfunctory use of empty praise to perfunctory children. The second step is to point out the child's specific small mistakes. We must objectively describe the child's wrong facts, rather than subjectively evaluating the child, let alone blaming the child. The third step is to finally satisfy the child's sense of accomplishment. When the child corrects his mistakes, we must respond and affirm the child in time to give the child a sense of accomplishment.
2. Let your child know that "even if you don't do it well, it's acceptable"
When the child repeatedly can't do it, or can't do something well, we can express to the child the meaning of "even if you can't do it (or do it well)..." It doesn't matter, this expression is more helpful to the child than saying "You must be able to do it", so that the child will not carry too much psychological baggage.
3. Guide your child to resolve negative thoughts
Children with "glass hearts" are prone to depression and fluctuations, in large part because negative thoughts have completely taken over their brains. In this case, we need to find ways to help children learn to dissolve, and then completely drive these negative thoughts out of the brain, and divert their attention to the positive thoughts, so that their brains can not be occupied by negative thoughts. Children who are full of positive thoughts will naturally become stronger in their hearts.