Zhang Zhixin said: "Love is an indispensable, but it can only be an accelerator to push us forward, not a stumbling block to work and study." ”
A good love can become an accelerator of life, allowing us to see our own shortcomings and then slowly become a better self.
What is good love? Everyone has their own answer to this question. Some people say that it must be a love that goes in both directions; some people say that it is a love that cares about each other and grows together; and some people say that it is a love that trusts each other and is loyal to each other.
There are many answers to this question. In everyone's heart, there will also be their own understanding, with the most beautiful vision of love.
Maybe we can't meet a perfect love, but at least we should distinguish those low-level loves. Love cannot be forced, and it cannot be confused because you want to fall in love. Love, it needs fate, but also needs each other's sincerity, can be wholeheartedly into this love.
In the face of love, everyone should learn to distinguish and maintain their most basic sanity.
These "low-level" loves, don't touch.
01 Love without freedom and without self.
In life, there are some people with strong personalities, and when it comes to feelings, they are still more self-sufficient, and it is difficult to take into account each other's feelings. In the process of getting along, they will often ask the other party what they must do, must obey their own ideas, otherwise they will be angry, angry, and even have some extreme behavior.
The love we want must be that the two of us together are pleasant, relaxed, and happy to see. Not the kind of repressive, the one who doesn't dare to express himself, or even the one who loses his freedom. Even if we love someone very much, we don't want a painful love that can face all kinds of contradictions at any time.
Tennyson said, "Love is free, and free love is the most real." ”
If there is a love that makes you lose yourself and have no freedom, such a love should not be touched.
02 Love that needs to be maintained with substances.
Some people's attitude towards love is that there must be enough material conditions as a basis, and once the material is gone, love is gone. A person who behaves in this way can only show that he does not love this person, but the material basis that this person has.
In love, there are actually many such stupid people. When they love someone, they give without reservation and do their best, just to give each other the best conditions, thinking that they can always stay by the other party's side. But when they lost their ability, the other party did not hesitate to choose to leave.
In such a love, once you see the true face of the other party, the last person who is hurt and bears this pain must be the person who is constantly paying.
F. Bacon said, "Love, which is enshrined with matter, is quickly extinguished when you stop giving." ”
Therefore, this kind of "low-level" love that needs to be maintained with substances, or don't touch it, and don't expect you to touch him.
03 By appearance, this superficial love.
When we see a person with good physical conditions, we will be instantly fascinated and even moved by it. If your impulse is only because of the other person's appearance, and you do not understand his inside, please maintain this impulse, do not love someone just because of appearance, and do not accept a person because others appreciate your appearance.
In the world of love, love because of appearance is the least solid and the most easily shaken. He will fall in love with you because of your appearance and will leave you because he meets someone with better conditions.
When you have a good feeling because of your appearance, you may as well stay sane and spend a little more time to understand each other's inner feelings. After a period of time together, let's see if it is appropriate for you to come together.
Erasmus said: "Love, if it depends on beauty to maintain its health, will die." ”
Love that just depends on the outside, or don't easily touch it.
04 It takes you to constantly give, to please each other, and there is no response to love.
When we are completely in love with someone, it is easy to lose our minds. The mind was only thinking about how to keep his heart. In order to keep this love, some people will continue to give, even if the other party has no response; will frequently try to please the other party, even if all they get is indifference.
It's just that in that case, they don't have time to think, or even don't want to think at all. I only think about how to impress the other party's heart and chase my own happiness.
Xin Yiwu said: "In love, the effort paid and the happiness gained are never directly proportional, and the more people who want to love, the less they will get it." ”
In order to get a love, we put ourselves in a very low position and became a very humble person in the eyes of the other party. In the end, even if you get this love, you will be very hard, very wronged, and even very tortured when you get along.
Since you are doomed to not get the happiness you want, why do you have to insist on it bitterly, and exchange your humble efforts for a moment of touching the other party? Instead of foolishly loving, it is better to wait for a more worthy person again.
Emerson said, "In the end, love is a reflection of one's self-worth in others." ”
A good love, their efforts will definitely get the same return. When we get along, we must be relaxed and happy, and we must cherish each other, care about each other, and respect each other.
As for these "low-level" loves, it is better to recognize them early and not to touch them easily