Your innate strong voice is still within you, waiting for you to reconnect with it.
I find that many people are deprived of something important in their childhood. Most people don't know it's gone.
It's their voice.
Not literally. Most emotionally neglected people have a lot to say and they will say it too. They will soon say:
How are you?
Is it wrong?
Okay, I'll do you a favor with that.
Finally become a family!
I am fine.
I don't need any help.
Of course, I'll go with you.
I'd love to take on this task and leave it to me.
While this may seem like a random set of statements, they all share a common theme. They're all about "you" and not "me." They are all often caused by people whose childhood emotions are neglected. They convey the attitude of life of those who grew up in an environment where emotions were neglected: "It's all about you. ”
A typical child's voice
If you've ever been with babies, you know they're free to express themselves. Before they start speaking, they express their feelings by crying or smirking. They pointed to the car window and, as soon as they knew how to say it, shouted, "Truck! "。
Children are born with a voice, and they are born to use that sound. Baby feelings and thoughts are filterless. It appears automatically and immediately.
But sadly, too many children have to start filtering their voices too early.
Emotionally neglected children's voices
Imagine that as a child, your feelings are hurt. Your facial expressions and body language clearly express your emotions. But your parents act as if everything is fine and don't seem to notice.
Imagine asking your parents for help, but they can't do anything about it.
Imagine when you were a kid and very few people asked you:
Why aren't you happy today?
Did something happen at school upset you?
Is this scary for you?
What do you want?
How do you feel?
What do you need?
When you're not asked enough of these questions, your child's brain naturally assumes that your personal feelings, desires, and needs don't matter. Why express it when no one cares?
Imagine that every day of your childhood, you rarely receive feedback about who you are. as:
Your math is good. But we have to keep you focused at school.
You seem to be bored with baseball training.
You're so humorous!
Your temper can sometimes get you out of control.
You like to help others. It was so sweet to see it.
I love the way you want people around you to laugh.
You seem unhappy when your friends are here.
If you don't hear enough observation and feedback, you won't learn two important things you should learn in childhood:
You can't understand your true self.
You won't find that you deserve to be understood.
Your voice now
That's why, growing up in a family that doesn't pay enough attention to you, identify with you, or show enough interest in you, you'll understand that how you feel isn't important. In the absence of adequate emotional response and care, you learn how to preserve your true self.
That's why, by asking for something and letting your words go into a hollow, you learn to speak out is painful. Emotional neglect in childhood makes you lose your voice.
How to get your voice back
You were born with a loud voice, but your childhood took it away. Now you don't need to create a new sound. Your voice is there, within you, waiting to be rediscovered.
When you learn about emotional neglect in childhood, you begin to realize how it happened to you and begin to see it in many different aspects of your life. You will discover how separate you are from your true inner self, as well as from others. Understanding this will help you see that there is a "you" within you that you have been ignoring all these years.
Start tracking what you want, feel, and need. What do you like? Who do you like? Where do you want to go? What annoys you, annoys you, or bothers you?
Once you know you're better, you'll learn the art of expression. Learning all about self-confidence is the ability to speak in a way that others can and will hear.
Practice saying, "I want to..." "I can..." "I need to..." "Every time you say it, the next time it's going to be easier.
Every time you speak, you're sending a message to your true self
Just as every time you speak makes the next one easier; every time you focus on that quiet child inside, you send a powerful message to him or her.
Doing the opposite thing with your parents, providing yourself with something they can't give you, you're confirming who you are and hearing what you need. You are saying to yourself and to the silent child in your heart: You are important.
What do people do when they know they matter? They express their feelings, desires, and needs.
What do you do when you realize you're important? You will learn to tell the truth. You will retract your voice.