Parents also have a "validity period" and it is very short, only ten years.
After the child is ten years old, it is useless to let the parents work hard and make up for it, because you have expired.
01
In the TV series "Chinese-style Relations", there is such a passage:
Ma Guoliang, 45, and his wife, Liu Lili, are preparing for divorce, and the two compete for custody of their children. Ma Guoliang naively believes that he has paid so much for this family, and the children are righteous to himself.
But in fact, Ma Guoliang did not even know how many grades the child had, and the food he cooked for the child was so difficult to eat that he could not even eat himself, and blamed his wife for deliberately pulling him over.
The wife asked rhetorically:
The children are so old, who wants to pull them together?
The old horse was speechless. Despite the efforts of the old horse, the child finally chose his mother.
Don't wait until the kids are all grown up and think, Oh, I should spend more time with the kids.
Is it useful? Sorry, it's late, the child doesn't need your company anymore, for the simple reason that it has passed the expiration date.
After the expiration of the parents, no matter how hard they try, they are no more effective than 10 years ago. Even if you regret, blame, bitterness, or even hysteria, when the child is young, why did you go?
There is a "validity period" between parents and children!
When you don't know how to cherish, God will take back this sweet gift. All you can do is to obediently leave the stage or wait to be thrown off the stage by the child.
02
I once read a child's essay and wrote down my father's experience of not having time to play with him.
One of the sentences, "Dad, if you don't play with me anymore, I'll grow up" has poked many people in the heart. "Widowed parenting" and "invisible father", we have seen such terms.
A set of data surveys showed that as many as 77% of fathers spend less than one hour a day with their children, and only 9% of fathers spend more than 3 hours with their children.
I have to admit that now after the birth of the child, almost everything is given to the mother. You will find that in various groups to discuss parenting issues are basically mothers; most of the people who take children to interest classes and tutoring classes are also mothers; and the same is still mainly mothers who pick up and drop off children to and from school.
Liu Yong said:
Many dads have no hands in their children's drawings. Why?
Because in the child's memory, the father is like a shadow, always unable to grasp.
China Youth Daily did a survey: 94% of respondents admitted that there are "shadow fathers" around them.
So, where did Dad go?
overtime? Entertainment? Playing mahjong? Playing with your phone?
Do you really not have time to spend with your children, or do you not realize that being with your children is an important and urgent matter?
Fathers are the scarce commodities of this era.
03
"In a family, the role of parents is equally important. Mothers pay more attention to detail in education, while fathers pay more attention to the education of the child's integrity and direction.
Fathers play an extremely important role in the growth of children, and have an important impact on the establishment of children's sense of security, the shaping of personality, gender cognition, and the handling of interpersonal relationships.
0-12 years old is the "golden age" for parents to accompany and educate their children.
Because during this period, parents in the child's mind, is an omnipotent god, can be trusted, can rely on, can entrust everything, this stage is more important than ever, but also the most likely to be ignored by parents, parents feel that the child is small, do not understand anything.
Thinking that giving children good food, drink well, and using well is the greatest responsibility, intentionally or unintentionally, but the most important companionship is forgotten. Ignoring the "golden validity period" of children's growth.
Fathers have a very important influence on their children:
Affects the formation of children's personality
It is not difficult to find that many boys who lack fatherly love from childhood lack what we usually call masculinity when they grow up. This is because in the process of their growth, only the role of the mother appears, and the gentle, careful, and patient characteristics of most mothers will subtly affect the child.
Due to the personality differences between men and women, fathers have their inherent masculine characteristics, such as independence, aggressiveness, cooperation, self-confidence, etc. Their characteristics of enthusiasm, generosity, adventurism, and persistence will make children imitate and learn unconsciously. This can be combined with the child's gender characteristics from the mother, such as caring for others, compassion, gentleness, kindness, etc., to form a more perfect personality foundation for the child.
Affect the cultivation of children's sense of responsibility
As a qualified father, there are too many responsibilities on your shoulders. In the process of children's growth, the sense of responsibility runs through all aspects, involving family responsibility, learning responsibility, social responsibility, collective honor, individual honor and many other aspects.
As an idol and hero in the eyes of children, the father's words and deeds, and whether he has a sense of responsibility in doing things will also affect the formation of children's sense of responsibility. If a child cannot get a positive influence from his father in terms of family responsibilities, it will affect his sense of responsibility for doing things in the future.
Affect the development of children's social skills
Fathers' participation in their children's upbringing plays an extremely important role in the formation of children's social skills.
Due to heavy housework, personality and other reasons, mom does not have as much leisure and opportunity to socialize as dad, and will be slightly less capable in this regard.
As the child grows up, learns to speak, walk, independence, life self-care ability to enhance, and more and more interaction with the outside world, which requires expanding the scope of communication, then the father can take the child to expand the social scope, and teach the child some social skills.
04
Many dads always like to use work as an excuse, I am so busy, where do I have time to take care of the children.
Don't I want to spend time with my children, but who is going to make money?
And to make money, but also to accompany the children, can I still be separated?
……
"Poor Dad, Rich Dad" wrote: The so-called success is to have time to take care of their children.
What is success?
It's not how much ticket you earn,
It's not how wide a house you bought.
It's not that you're driving in a handsome car.
Instead, the school's parents' association can have you.
The moment you open the door, you can always see your back.
The child grows up only once, and if the father misses it, he will never have a second chance.
There are many ways to express love: a serious goodbye to your child before going out, a warm hug when you come home, a goodnight story for 10 minutes before going to bed, a phone call from your child who has not seen you for a long time...
Fathers, when you have time, accompany your children more, even if it is a short period of 5 minutes, 10 minutes, as long as you devote yourself to the child, the child can feel the love and warm companionship from the father, and get nourishment from it, close the parent-child distance.
Long Yingtai said: For educating children, there is no shortcut to follow except for teaching and accompanying by words and deeds.
So, please stop telling your children: Dad has to work overtime on weekends and can't take you out to play!