The child's life is also a serial drama, from the beginning to the end, he will slowly change and grow.
The difference is that you can make up for the series if you don't watch it, but you can't make up for missing the growth of your child.
- Le Dad
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Author | Source of the National Pavilion | National Pavilion
Some people say that a child's shelf life is only ten years.
After the child is ten years old, it is useless to let the parents work hard and make up for it, because you have expired.
It's brutal, but it's also realistic.
Recently, Tao Hong participated in a show and told an old story.
For a long time since his daughter was born, Xu Zheng has become particularly busy and rarely returns home.
In order to let her daughter remember her father's appearance, Tao Hong often showed his photos to her children, so that as long as the children saw the picture frame, they called them fathers.
After his daughter understood things, Xu Zheng finally had time to accompany him, but the child did not recognize him.
Xu Zheng tried hard to please his daughter, and the child's eyes were scattered and he ignored him, and even said to him:
"Why are you still at my house, you can go back to your own home."
Seeing that Xu Zheng was not leaving, the daughter turned her head and asked her mother: "Why doesn't this uncle named Daddy leave yet?" ”
Tao Hong said to him, "If you don't hold your girlfriend again, you won't be able to hold her in this life." ”
In the TV series "Chinese Style System", there is such a paragraph:
Ma Guoliang, 45, and his wife, Liu Lili, are preparing for divorce, and the two compete for custody of their children.
Ma Guoliang naively believes that he has paid so much for this family, and the children are righteous to himself.
But in fact, Ma Guoliang did not even know how many grades the child had, and the food he cooked for the child was so difficult to eat that he could not even eat himself, and blamed his wife for deliberately pulling him over.
The wife asked rhetorically:
"The children are so old, who wants to pull them together?"
The old horse was speechless.
Despite the efforts of the old horse, the child finally chose his mother.
Don't wait until your children are older to think, "Oh, I should spend more time with my children."
Is it useful?
Sorry, it's late, the child doesn't need your company anymore, for the simple reason that it has passed the expiration date.
No matter how hard the parents after the expiration date, they are no more effective than 10 years ago.
Even if you regret, blame, bitterness, or even hysteria, when the child is young, why did you go?
There is also a validity period between parents and children.
When you don't know how to cherish, God will take back this sweet gift.
All you can do is to obediently leave the stage or wait to be thrown off the stage by the child.
0 to 12 years old is the "golden validity period" for parents to accompany and educate their children, but it is also the most easily ignored by parents, who feel that their children are small and do not understand anything.
As long as the child eats well, drinks well, and uses well, it is the greatest responsibility, consciously or unconsciously but the most important companion is left behind.
Cat Jiujiu deeply experienced, throughout the childhood, she was spent with her grandparents, her parents also came back once during the Spring Festival, returned home to see a child at the door, did not know, asked grandparents:
Whose child is this?
Nine-Nine likes Nine-Nine the most, and Mom and Dad can come back in the New Year, but they also hate the New Year the most, and after the New Year they leave.
And always sneak away from home when she goes to school, and when she comes home, she finds a lot of things in the doorway.
Clothes, quilts, pillows or whatever, she felt that if she dried so many things, her mother must still be at home.
Then I searched for the rooms, the kitchen, the bedroom, the yard, and even the toilet, and the tears fell.
A child whose parents have been absent for many years said:
The most envious are those children whose parents are around, and the most afraid of listening to it is "Only Mothers are Good in the World".
Don't think that left-behind exists only in rural areas, but in cities, the problem of "left-behind" is equally serious.
Education scholar Wang Li is very worried about this, they have a child named Xixi upstairs, almost can not see her parents, every time they encounter, it is their grandparents to carry.
When I asked, I learned that her parents lived in the next neighborhood, and just because they were busy at work, they came home late after working overtime, so they let the children sleep with their grandmother.
Sissi is very introverted and does not want to look at others every time they meet.
China City Parenting Survey data shows:
Seventy percent of Chinese parents have no time to spend with their children, only 30.32 percent have enough time to spend with their children, and less than 10 percent of full-time parents;
73.13% of parents will cancel their agreement with their children for work reasons, 67.75% of children and children are cared for by the elderly, and only one-third of parents who take care of children independently;
And two-thirds of children are accompanied by mobile phones and iPads, and only one-fifth of parents attach importance to emotional communication with their children.
These data tell us a reality:
Our children are living more and more like orphans, even if their parents are right in front of them.
Jackie Chan said in an interview that once his wife had an affair and asked him to go to the school to pick up the ancestral name of the house.
Jackie Chan came to the school, waited for a long time, did not see the child's figure, and finally returned without success.
When he returned, he realized that his child had gone to middle school, but he ran to the primary school.
Liu Yong said:
Many dads have no hands in their children's drawings. Why?
Because in the child's memory, the father is like a shadow, always unable to grasp.
China Youth Daily did a survey: 94% of respondents admitted that there are "shadow fathers" around them.
So, where did Dad go?
overtime? Entertainment? Playing mahjong? Playing with your phone?
Do you really not have time to spend with your children, or do you not realize that being with your children is an important and urgent matter?
Fathers are the scarce commodities of this era.
Someone said:
Children are God's gifts to us, and when you don't cherish them, God takes back this sweet gift.
Children who lack companionship and preparation during the "golden age" are often more likely to have psychological problems.
Low happiness:
There is a painting that once touched the hearts of many people:
An Iraqi girl without a mother, on the cement floor of an orphanage, painted a mother, then carefully took off her shoes and fell asleep on her mother's chest...
Parents are the whole world of the child, and without the company of the parents, the whole world of the child is gray.
Even if his parents are complete and unaccompanied, he is still an orphan.
Inferiority:
George Mansell was a seafarer whose son sailed for a long time soon after his birth.
Three years later, George returned home to find that the child was withdrawn, eccentric, and extremely inferior.
The children around him don't like to play with him, and they can't see the innocence and liveliness of a child.
Psychology calls this phenomenon " paternalism syndrome " .
The father is a symbol of strength, brave, decisive, open-minded, and the best example for the child. In the absence, the child is easily frightened and sentimental.
Not good at communicating:
Christy is a designer who never lived with her parents before the age of 13, and her grandparents say that it is not easy for your parents to earn money to study for you, and you have to be obedient and sensible.
Being bullied, being scolded by the teacher, not knowing who to talk to, encountering homework that can't be done, and being alone in the middle of the night.
Gradually, he habitually hid the problem in his psychology, from the psychological movement, he did not dare to say what he wanted to eat, and he did not dare to ask for what he wanted.
Obviously envious, but always waiting for the other party to be able to guess your thoughts, never report the good news and not the worry, grievances and difficulties will only be borne by one person, thirty years old, but can not call out parents in person.
He also forced himself to associate with others, but when he faced strangers, he was always hard to open his mouth, and he couldn't say a good word.
Many parents always like to use work as an excuse:
I'm so busy, I don't have time to take care of the kids.
Don't I want to spend time with my children, but who is going to make money?
And to make money, but also to accompany the children, can I still be separated?
……
"Poor Dad, Rich Dad" wrote: The so-called success is to have time to take care of their children.
It is not how thick the tickets you earn, nor how wide the house you bought, nor how handsome you drove, but the parents of the school will be able to see your figure, and the moment you open the door, you can always see your back.
During his first presidential campaign, Obama said triumphantly:
I'm not necessarily a good president, but I'm certainly a good father, because I never missed a parent-teacher meeting for my daughters during my 21-month campaign.
As a wife, Michelle always praises her husband's due diligence, and she mentions in many speeches that her husband, Obama, will have dinner with her daughters every night and patiently answer the children's questions.
Yeah, even the president has time to spend with their children, are our parents busier than the president?
There are no shortcuts to teaching children except to teach by example and accompany them.
So, please stop telling your child, "Daddy is going to work overtime today and can't attend your parent-teacher conference!"
Source: Kokukan. Warm people's hearts with culture, let good books nourish the soul, and decorate life with good things. The pictures in this article are from Figureworm Creative.
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