Tao Hong frowned slightly, and his expression was calm, as if he had gained insight into the ever-changing world. She spoke slowly, calmly and decisively: "When it comes to physical problems, it is only a physiological reaction, and these things cannot really be defined as major events in life. ”
Her eyes were resolute and powerful, and every word was loud: "As for a person's feelings and loyalty, there is no necessary correlation between them, as long as you can accept them honestly, then it becomes irrelevant to you whether he is loyal to you or not." ”
She took a sip of tea, and her eyes were slightly dim: "If you can't be called lovers, then treat each other with family-like care." Speaking of this, her voice gradually became firm: "You don't have to be overly involved in affection, you don't have to be demanding, you don't want to be perfect, and you can spend the rest of your life together on a plain day." ”
She looked around and sighed in a low voice: "A mode of mutual respect and non-interference can also lead to a happy life." ”
This is Tao Hong's unique view of marital fidelity and her identification with this marital lifestyle. In her view, physical betrayal is not unforgivable, the key is whether both parties can treat each other sincerely and face it frankly.
She has long seen through the true meaning of love and marriage, let go of the persistent pursuit of a perfect marriage, and learned to live peacefully and freely.
After many years of marriage, Tao Hong and Xu Zheng have never had an in-depth understanding of how much wealth each other has earned. They are like two completely separate individuals, always insisting on spending their own money and never asking each other about their income.
Tao Hong said indifferently: "From the day we got married until now, the other party's financial situation is still a mystery to me. The couple's level of financial independence far exceeds the AA lifestyle that is common in the entertainment industry.
Even though they have entered middle age, the financial separation status of the two has never changed. How much money did Xu Zheng make and where did he spend it? Tao Hong never asked about this. Similarly, Xu Zheng never asked about his wife's income and expenses.
In their minds, money should not be a constraint on married life, and maintaining independence is the best choice.
Such an otherworldly economic independence status vividly depicts the unique style of Tao Hong and Xu Zheng's married life! Behavior that may seem incomprehensible to others and may even feel absurd is just a trivial matter for these two.
Let's look back on the past 2008 to 2009, which is undoubtedly an unforgettable torment in Tao Hong's life. thought that pregnancy would bring countless joys, but when she needed the care and care of her family the most, her mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness. The god of fate seems to be deliberately playing tricks on her, and just as Tao Hong is about to give birth, her mother unfortunately undergoes a life-and-death major surgery.
During that time, Xu Zheng, as her husband, seemed to be drifting away from her life and living an independent world of her own. Just as Tao Hong was in the arduous process of giving birth to a new life, the lace news about Xu Zheng was flying like snowflakes. Seeing that her mother's life was hanging by a thread, and her elderly father was also attacked by an acute heart attack, and it didn't take long for them to die, Tao Hong fell into extreme confusion and pain, and the endless grief almost crushed her, and she seemed to have fallen into a bottomless abyss of despair.
However, at this critical moment, Xu Zheng stayed out of the matter, turned a blind eye to the predicament faced by his wife, and still went his own way, looking for fun outside, and living his leisurely life. I remember one time, Tao Hong, who was ten months pregnant, returned to her empty home in tears, and found that her family was so poor that there was no one who could help her. That night, Xu Zheng staggered home drunk and muddy, but he was completely ignorant of the bitterness of his wife washing her face with tears all night.
The next morning, he hurried to the set, ignoring his wife's plight.
In that dark moment, Xu Zheng failed to fulfill his basic duties as a husband and as a safe haven, and completely threw Tao Hong out of the clouds. And Tao Hong can only face the wind, frost, snow and rain of life alone and the heavy blow of life and death, her heart is full of helplessness and pain.
Fortunately, Tao Hong was born into a family of operas, and was deeply taught by "independence and self-reliance" since she was a child, and she is a tenacious and unyielding woman deep down. Under the weight of life, she told herself that she could not rely on others forever, and that only she could be her own redeemer.
So, Tao Hong made up her mind, and she decided to save herself! She did not hesitate to seek the help of a professional psychologist, and she continued to draw strength from the deep and sincere conversations with the doctors. At the same time, she is also fully engaged in the study of psychology and children's education, and she is eager to create a loving and warm environment for her daughter.
During that low period of life, Tao Hong gradually realized a profound and important truth: marriage does not only mean to bear the hardships and hardships of life together, she and Xu Zheng are two independent individuals. Regardless of the depth of the suffering, we are the only ones who can truly save ourselves. It would be the most foolish thing to put all your hopes in others.
For the sake of her daughter, in order to break free from the shackles of the haze, Tao Hong tried her best to let go of the deep attachment in her heart, she no longer pursued the passionate love as eagerly as in the past, and no longer asked her husband Xu Zheng to maintain absolute loyalty and selfless dedication to her. She is deeply aware that the true meaning of marriage is not to oppose each other, but to find a balance in such a relationship. And women's true sense of security can only be given by ourselves, and we cannot rely on others.
With such a change in thinking, Tao Hong quietly started his career development outside Xu Zheng's sight, accumulating enough economic strength for himself and his daughter, so as to get rid of the passive situation. She firmly vowed that she would never again be bound by the shackles of marriage and love.
Getting out of the trough is not an overnight thing, Tao Hong has paid countless sweat and efforts to finally achieve the transformation of life.
On the other hand, under the recommendation of a friend, Tao Hong bravely tried to follow others to invest. Although the first few investments failed, she fell into a state of confusion and confusion for a while. However, she was not discouraged by this, but more humbly consulted those who were successful around her, and finally reaped fruitful results in the following investments and achieved financial freedom.
After experiencing this series of trials, Tao Hong's views on marital fidelity have gradually changed. She no longer pursued the passion of love as passionately as she did when she was younger, but devoted more energy to her daughter's education and career development.
Once, Tao Hong once tried to repair the crumbling emotional bridge with Xu Zheng. She will carefully create a romantic night for Xu Zheng, but every time she is full of expectations, the result is always in exchange for Xu Zheng's indifferent response, which makes her disheartened.
Finally, she chose to let go, "Let it take its natural time."
Since then, Tao Hong has never taken the initiative to maintain the emotional bond with Xu Zheng. In this way, they silently spent more than 20 springs, summers, autumns and winters hand in hand, giving each other the most basic respect, keeping an appropriate distance, and not interfering with each other.
In the face of Xu Zheng's scandals from time to time, Tao Hong has become accustomed to it, she thinks that it is just Xu Zheng's "true colors", and she has no right and no need to change him.
Now, Tao Hong has entered the age of knowing the destiny of heaven, and still lives a single life, and her only relative is the lively and lovely daughter. Her daughter is the only light in her dark life, and the biggest motivation to support her forward.
Whenever she sees her daughter's innocent and bright smile, Tao Hong will always have a warm current in her heart.
Although married life is full of ups and downs, Tao Hong has never given up on herself because of this. She always reminds herself that to live is to learn to appreciate the beauty of life, even if it is just a ray of sunshine and a child's laughter, it is also a rare gift in life.
With this positive attitude towards life, Tao Hong's heart has become more pure and peaceful.
Today, she has completely gotten rid of the obsession with love and dependence on marriage when she was young. She began to re-examine that uneventful marriage, and even found something commendable.
At the very least, this lifestyle gives her enough freedom to develop her career and live a spiritually independent life as she pleases.
Perhaps unintentionally, Tao Hong and Xu Zheng, a "strange couple", have brought a new perspective to the modern concept of marriage. In their eyes, husband and wife do not necessarily have to share each other's weal and woe, and excessive pursuit of the ideal of "being in the same boat through thick and thin" may increase each other's burden.
It is better to fight separately, and live a life with distance but not alienation under the premise of giving each other the most basic respect and freedom.
Ms. Tao Hong smiled lightly, her eyes sincere and full of meaning: "Perhaps, we are trying a new modern marriage model - even if it seems so different, but in a way, this special way actually symbolizes the spiritual liberation and release of our generation." ”
She admits that she is most fortunate to have found her true self-awareness at a low point in her life. If she has always been bound by the traditional concept of marriage and love, then she is likely to have fallen into a state of mental breakdown and cannot persevere on the road of life to this day.
"Love is an indispensable part of life, however, there are countless possibilities and room for development in everyone's life." Ms. Tao Hong said earnestly, "The beauty of life is not limited to marriage and love, we should not pin all our expectations on others.
What really matters is whether you have the courage and strength to survive on your own. ”
She took a deep breath, and a faint smile appeared on the corner of her mouth: "Now I am no longer the ignorant girl I used to be, I have learned to find fun from the bits and pieces of daily life, and discover the true meaning and value of life."
Perhaps, this is a precious gift from God.