Introduction: Now young couples need to continue to work to earn money after giving birth, so they often need the help of the older generation in the matter of child-rearing. However, although our children are cared for by relatives, it is impossible to avoid the bad influence of the older generation on the children in some bad ways, and we have to admit that some of the parenting methods of the elderly are wrong.
But most of the time, the older generation also acts according to their own experience, and does not have a very clear perception of the right and wrong behind the behavior. So, in your daily life, have you found any parenting advice that they think is correct, but are actually "poisonous milk"?
Here, Xiaobian will discuss with you these common elderly "poisonous milk":
1, children should be fed, their own eating is not good
Our children were originally able to eat by themselves, although the eating time is relatively slow, but every time they can obediently eat, but after the mother-in-law came to see the children eating on their own, and eating more "wolf", they could not bear it. Think that the food should be cold, eat all over the place, can the child eat it well? Wait, so I started feeding the child.
The result of this is not to make the child eat better, but to consume the exercise of independent eating awareness, and now some people can not eat obediently. Therefore, many children's temperament and shortcomings are actually habitual by the elders, and the child's self-care ability needs to be gradually cultivated, rather than turning the child into a pampered existence.
2. Do not eat complementary foods before the age of one, and feed porridge directly after the age of one
The elderly in the countryside are like this with children, before the age of one year, they rarely give the baby complementary food, basically feeding the main milk, and after one year old, the baby teeth begin to feed porridge. A variety of porridge, egg porridge, lean porridge, etc., the baby's daily diet is very single, they do not care about whether the child's daily nutrition is balanced, but care about whether the child can kill a large bowl of porridge per meal.
However, this feeding method has a great adverse effect on the growth of children, because the supplementary food is added late, and the child will be more resistant when he comes into contact with food. And the daily diet is not enough nutritional balance, and are mainly liquid porridge, the baby's body nutrient absorption is poor, but also not conducive to the development of chewing, swallowing and gastrointestinal function.
3, children naughty point does not matter, grow up naturally understand things
The older generation will always be too tolerant and conniving when treating grandchildren, children are obviously doing the wrong thing, but always want to tolerate the past, the common mantra is: "The child is still young, what does he know?" "The child is still young, what are you so worried about?" "Children don't understand things now, but when they grow up, they will understand." And so on.
The kindness and tolerance of grandparents has become a shelter for children after making mistakes, but the education of children's wrong behaviors often needs to be curbed from the beginning, which helps to establish a sense of rules for children, know the right and wrong of things, and the cost of education at this time is the lowest. If the child is blindly indulged, the child will not know where the degree of behavior is, but it will lead to greater mistakes.
4, children are injured and crying, they like to find "objects of punishment"
The older generation coaxes the children, and they like to find a "back pot object" to use as a substitute for the punishment of the crying child, so we will find that if the child falls down and cries, the grandmother likes to say "hit the floor, hit the floor"; the child likes to say "hit them, hit my baby" because the table and chair bump." "These methods worked so well that the child stopped crying all of a sudden.
However, although such a practice can coax the child, it is easy for the child to form a habitual sense of shirking responsibility, and the first reaction to anything in the future is to blame others. Is it really the fault of the floor, the table and chair that the child fell and knocked down? Obviously not, and what we need to do is to make the child realize his mistake and be careful the next time he walks, he will not get hurt.
Important note: In the parenting style of the older generation, personal feeding will obliterate the child's ability to eat by himself, the excessive single feeding method in the parenting process can easily lead to nutritional deficiencies, and the excessive tolerance of the child will make the child more and more ignorant, like to find the "object of punishment" to carry the pot, will make the child lose the opportunity to reflect.
Today's topic: In the process of parenting, when you and the elders have a conflict, how should you deal with it? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.