Source: Ten Point Reading (ID: duhaoshu)
The writer Qiyanian said: "In this world, people who are really good to you, when they meet one, there is one less." ”
In this life, there are not many people who can accompany us, and those who can be close to us are all rare.
However, we often forget to cherish in getting along, always treating people with shallow relationships and pleasing faces, and coldly looking at the people around us.
Got the wrong direction, blurred the distance.
When we wake up, we find that time cannot afford us to regret.
In the future, if we want to live up to ourselves and each other, we should not release bad emotions on the people who care about us the most.
The night before, with my girlfriend Linlin video, I wanted to share the news of passing the exam with her, but looking at her frustrated expression, I held back the words hard.
Asked why, she said, "I've never felt like such an asshole that it upset my mom for a whole week." ”
Last weekend, when she learned that her daughter was home, her mother specially made her favorite braised fish and cola chicken wings, and was about to open for dinner, but Linlin received the news that the customer wanted to update the planning plan.
Seeing her busy alone in the study, my mother was a little distressed, so she put the fish with the thorns and the chicken wings with the bones picked next to the computer.
Linlin was just about to get up to get the document, but she didn't want to knock the bowl on the ground, and she came up with a fire:
"I'm in a hurry, why are you still messing with me here?" If you are hungry, eat first, don't wait for me. ”
The mother was stunned, turned around and picked up the broom to clean up the food on the ground:
"You're busy with yours first, and we'll wait for you to eat together."
"Why do you have to eat together, I'll have to go back to the company for a meeting right away."
Linlin picked up the bag and left.
I thought it was over, until my father called and asked if she could go back this weekend, and told her:
Because of that sentence, my mother cried all night and didn't eat much for a whole week.
Hearing her father's words, Linlin's heart was full of regret and self-blame.
Because of a moment of anxiety and anxiety, they sprinkled anger on their parents, but in retrospect, what does this emotion have to do with them?
What really provokes us to be irritable and unwilling is not the people who accompany us, but the difficult people and tricky things.
If because of these external pressures, it hurts the people who should be cherished the most, it is not worth it.
You know, what can relieve grievances is not to be angry with the relatives around you, but to find the reason and calm down.
Knowing where the negative energy comes from, actively communicating, and resolving it in a timely manner can we truly balance the anger and uneasiness in our hearts.
Only by solving the problem can we completely release bad emotions.
@Captain Wang took a video like this:
One day after work, my husband entered the door with an unhappy face.
His wife had just bought him a new dress, and was happily asking him if he liked it, but he said with a cold face: "It's okay to buy any clothes, give it back!" ”
The wife saw that her husband's mood was not right and asked him what was wrong, but he only dropped a sentence: "Did I tell you that you can handle it?" I went into the bedroom.
Leaving the wife helpless and sad: I recruited you to annoy you, and I threw some face.
As a result, the atmosphere became more and more stiff, and his wife ignored him all night.
But when the calm came down, the husband suddenly understood: in fact, the wife was not wrong, it was he who brought home the bad emotions outside and affected her mood.
And he did not feel happy and relaxed because he lost his temper with her, but he was more irritable.
The next day, the husband went to work in the clothes his wife bought, and came back to praise how good her eyes were.
At this moment, the wife also forgot yesterday's unhappiness and went to the kitchen to cook him his favorite dish.
Emotions are like this, bad emotions will transmit anger and frustration, and good emotions will also reflect a person's joy.
Fu Seoul once said:
The collapse of adults does not need the audience, even if it is hard and tired in the wind and rain outside, even if it bears more critical blows and great pressure, it is necessary to dry their tears on the road and push open the door with a smile.
But in reality, many people unconsciously put the outside emotions in their pockets and brought them home.
Inadvertently developing a "flammable and explosive" sensitive physique, seeing people like a "powder keg", venting anger for no reason.
You know, once a person can't control his bad emotions, then he will live more and more unhappily, and even fall into a vicious circle.
If you can press the pause button of negative emotions before pushing open the door, it is better than crazy venting.
Rather than arguing, gentleness is the most healing medicine.
Some time ago, at a parent-teacher meeting at her daughter's kindergarten, Chenchen's mother shared the details of her relationship with her child:
Last night, Chenchen was playing with blocks in the living room, and at 9 o'clock, I thought of letting him brush his teeth to sleep, shouted twice, and when he saw that he did not move, I walked over and said it to him again.
As a result, he continued to fiddle as if he had not heard.
I was just about to grab it, when Tatsumi's father stopped me: "You go and chase the drama, I will take him to brush his teeth and coax him to sleep." ”
In this way, the appearance of my father made room for me to ease my emotions, and our family also reduced the yelling and chicken flying dog jump again.
Children in the process of growing up will inevitably be naughty, rubbing, and clingy, but these should not be the reasons for us to command, roar and scold, and children should not be responsible for our bad emotions.
In daily life, if we can find a suitable outlet for garbage emotions in time, our lives will not easily get out of control.
Psychotherapist Wei Shan said:
No matter what causes your emotional problems, be sure to get out of time to release yourself from the painful time first.
Because being deeply immersed in contemplation of painful events will make you more miserable.
If you encounter a situation that is difficult to control yourself, you can temporarily leave the environment, eat something delicious, or find a trail to run, or even find a corner to cry.
Don't frame yourself in a small range, let it go around, and you can't get out.
You know, tantrums don't make any sense, and are useless except to prove that your wisdom isn't enough to solve the problem.
Learn to release so that you don't always pay for your bad emotions.
Being able to return to normal in the shortest possible time is the real ability to control emotions.
Not allowing people close to you to face your anger is also a kind of care and love.
Stetson once said, "Don't lose your temper with your dearest one, I already understand, but I'm too late." ”
Sometimes, a bad word, an indifferent look hurts more than the pain of hitting the body.
Learn to take out bad emotions at the right time to dry, evaporate the sadness and unhappiness, and leave behind all the joy and joy.
Don't let emotions become our biggest internal friction, try to find the reason, press the pause, find the exit, and you will find that the things that you think can't go by are not so important.
May we all be emotionally stable adults, sober, restrained, have the courage to face pain, and have the ability to laugh.
The author | Liu Xiaochang, loves words and life.
Pictures | Visual China