When you first hear a child say from the inside of his mouth: "Mother is bad" "Are you a pig?" "Look I won't kill you"... When waiting for such dirty words, I think most parents will be confused and have countless question marks in their hearts, who did they learn this from? Parents who are slightly less temperamental will even loudly accuse "Who did you learn this from?" Who taught you? "Grumpy, he also spanks the child's ass a few times."
In fact, when a child comes into this world, it is a blank piece of paper. When we give him what kind of environment and what kind of knowledge we instill in them, what kind of person they will become. So to say that children swear or say dirty words is really not intentional by children, or whether children come up with it themselves, but they are affected by the environment in which they exist. Let's say that if he hears someone else say this, the child may find it interesting, so he will follow suit.
Children will learn after hearing what others say, which is actually the process of learning language. This is the same as the reason we usually teach children to talk. When we first taught our children to talk, we would give them to say "Mommy, Daddy" and so on. After hearing it many times, the child finally tried to say the first word in his life for the first time: "mom or dad".
When we teach children very deliberately, or when we teach consciously, children can more or less understand the meaning of this word. Let's say we teach our children to call them moms, because in most cases we let our kids call out to their moms, and over time, the kids understand that the person in front of them is called Mom.
But sometimes children are affected by the environment and just follow the words of others, in which case we cannot directly define the child as a bad child.
When the child turns two years old, the girlfriend takes the mother-in-law from the countryside to the city, asks the mother-in-law to help carry the child, and returns to the workplace. Due to busy work, girlfriends leave early and return late, which will cause dissatisfaction in the mother-in-law.
During a vacation, the girlfriend took the child outside to play. However, the child pushed away his mother vigorously, and his mouth kept saying: "You are a bad mother, you only care about work in your heart, you don't want me, I don't play with you."
Later, when the girlfriend walked with the neighbors in the community, she learned from other people that when the mother-in-law helped her with the child, she would often say bad things about her in front of the child, saying that she only cared about work, even the children were not wanted, and the money did not earn much and returned early and late, which was really a bad woman.
So how should we deal with the budding of children's language?
First, we need to make our attitude clear with our families.
Part of the reason why children say dirty things is because of the contradictions of the adults in the family. Obviously, a mother-in-law relationship, everyone looks at each other and does not look at each other, will always chew the root of the tongue behind the back, which will inevitably not be heard by the child, and sometimes even said in front of the child. The effect on the child is very bad. If you tell him that his mother is bad, he will think that his mother is a bad person. If you tell him that the mother-in-law is not good, he will think that the grandmother is not good, which can easily lead to the child resisting the grandmother when getting along with the grandmother, or scolding the grandmother.
No matter what conflicts the family has, don't be in front of your children when you quarrel. And we must make our attitude clear with the family: what is wrong can be brought up, but do not secretly say bad things behind your back, and you should not say it in front of the child, or encourage the child. In addition, we should also let the family understand what kind of harm it will cause to the child if our family members always say that the other party is not good in front of the child.
Second, keep your child away from such an environment.
There is a saying that goes like this: "Those who are close to Zhu are red, and those who are close to ink are black." The environment in which a person is located still has a great impact on people. Therefore, we should choose some environments that are conducive to the growth of children.
A friend overheard it when he came home and the child said a dirty word: "#&$...." "He was shocked to hear you! How can such a young child say such rude and dirty words. No one in the house said anything!
When he questioned the problem to his family, his mother-in-law said that he might have learned it outside. The mother-in-law is very bored at home with a baby, and usually loves to take the child to chat in the village. There are all kinds of people in the crowd, and children will inevitably develop some bad habits.
Children's imitation ability is very strong, if you do not want to let the child develop some bad habits, if there is some bad atmosphere in an environment, or bad habits, we try to take the child away to avoid the child from learning bad.
Third, let the child understand what swear words are and why they should not say them.
When we hear a child say dirty words for the first time, we must let the child understand what dirty words are and why they should not say them. But the method must be appropriate.
Because parents are very sensitive to these swearing or swearing. When these words come from the child's mouth, the parents may forcibly stop the child, or even be angry with the child. Such a performance by parents will make children feel the power of the language they have just spoken more deeply. When children feel that they speak such language, it will attract the attention of parents, and then they will experience the joy of such language, and they will prefer to use such language.
When we hear children use these languages, first of all, as parents, we must stay calm. The second is to tell the child that these languages are profanity, and that it is uncivilized behavior if we use such language. Again, we have to tell the child, why can't we use such language? We can say something like, "Because these are profanity, if we say it, then others will think we are bad boys." Do you want to be a bad boy in the eyes of others? ”
Is a child who scolds necessarily a bad child? Not necessarily. Child behavioral psychology points out that when children are at the age of 2 to 6 years old, their behavior or speech is in a stage of imitation, and they do not realize that this is dirty words or things that should not be said.
When children behave in this way, we should not rush to label children as bad children. We just need to let the child understand that this should not be said, why should not be said.
But if it is an older child who says insulting words, then we should use a harsh tone to point out that it is wrong for the child to do so, and let him not repeat it. (The pictures in this article are from the Internet, if there is infringement, please inform and delete)