A father holds the child in his arms, the child has been crying, the father is crying. He cried while crying and cried out in a broken voice: "Hurry up, the heart hurts to die..." It turned out that the child's mother had something to go out for an hour, the child had been crying, and the father couldn't stop it, and his emotions collapsed.
When the video was sent, some people laughed at Dad's helplessness, some people lamented that it was not easy to take a baby, and some people accused Dad of usually taking less children. Others sympathize with the child's mother, believing that she is living a typical "widowed parenting". Because according to the video content, many people speculate that dads should rarely bring babies, otherwise it will not cause this situation.
Fathers are a vital role in the growth of children, if the father is absent from the growth of children for a long time, it will adversely affect the children, and may even cause children to suffer from "lack of paternal love syndrome".
"Lack of paternal love syndrome", as the name suggests, refers to a separation anxiety caused by the lack of paternal love, the father's absence from home for many years, or the fact that he is at home but pays little attention to the child. In fact, the baby has just fallen to the ground and longs for the father's love.
Studies have shown that after the second week of a child's life, most babies will have a soft spot for their father's voice and even imitate some simple movements of their father. Many children like special games with their fathers, such as throwing up, hugging hard, running fast, etc., and they can also experience the masculinity unique to their fathers.
There is also a small story about the discovery of this symptom. In the United States, there was a seafarer named George Mussel, who, because of his work, set sail shortly after the birth of his child. Because he has been working on the ship, he has not been able to keep in touch with his family. He was gone for three years, and when he returned home, he found that his son behaved strangely, reclusively, and had low self-esteem, and did not look like a naïve and lively child at all.
This is the result of the long-term lack of paternal love in infants and young children. "Paternalism Syndrome" has a variety of manifestations, mild manifestations of timidity, anxiety and other emotional symptoms, and severe even lead to autonomic dysfunction, such as palpitations, dizziness, and even fainting and other physiological symptoms.
Studies have shown that fatherly love has a huge impact on children, and boys with sufficient fatherly love have an advantage in terms of independence in life and self-confidence in learning. Psychologists in the former Soviet Union also confirmed that because the image of the father is a symbol of strength, bravery, decisiveness, boldness, broad vision, and strong sense of enterprise, girls are affected by these and will take life and career more seriously.
The influence of fathers on children begins from the birth of a child, and infants and children, whether at home or in other unfamiliar situations, are eager to be caressed by their fathers.
If the child lives in an environment without father's love for a long time, it is easy to have some behaviors that are different from ordinary people after growing up, mainly reflected in the following aspects:
First, intellectual development is hindered. Studies have been done in which five or six children, after two years of growing up in a family with an absent father, their cognitive abilities are generally lower than those of able-bodied families, especially in intelligence tests such as block design, maze walking and arithmetic, and their operating scores and full scale IQ scores are low.
Second, self-evaluation is low. Children who grow up without their father's company or are not valued by their father, will subconsciously belittle themselves, feeling that they are not good enough and not worthy of being loved. If not channeled, the child will form an inferiority complex and feel that he is not worthy of good things, which will affect his lifelong development.
The third is the defect in personality. Studies have shown that boys who grow up in an environment where their fathers are absent are prone to deviations in their personality traits and psychological states. For example, it is easy to be frightened, mentally depressed, sentimental, etc. Over time, the boy's personality will become feminine and lack the masculinity it deserves. Girls who lack father's love will psychologically be more masculine and easy to become women.
Fourth, it is impossible to form a healthy concept of marriage and love. There are many reasons for the absence of fathers, some of which are that the parents are divorced and the children live with their mothers; Some are parents who have bad feelings and the father chooses to escape; Some are fathers who are too busy to take care of their families; Some fathers lack a sense of responsibility and neglect to accompany their children. Whatever the reason, children see that their mothers are very hard, family life is not happy, and they may grow up to fear, resistance and other psychology of marriage.
Whatever the reason, since you have children, you have to take on the responsibility of parenthood. In a family, the father may be often out of the house because of the need for work, the father's role is more social and commercial, and the father's responsibility for tutoring and companionship is diluted. However, this cannot be a reason for fathers to shirk their responsibilities.
Material conditions are important, but there are many ways to express fatherly love, and there is no conflict between them. Conditionally, fathers take a little time every day to focus on their children, play games, tell stories, chat, and so on. If you can't see each other every day, fathers can express their love for their children through videos, phone calls, letters, small gifts, etc.
These things need to be done when the child is very young, and when the child is older, it may be too late. Although this does make it very hard to be a father, the father's efforts will make the child healthier and happier, and these things are priceless. In this way, it is actually very cost-effective.
This article is original by "Guo Lifang Psychological Studio", welcome to pay attention to, like, comment, the article is not reprinted.