Recently, there was a Weibo post with more than 600,000 likes, and the following 18,000 comments were mostly opposed voices.
A mother in Xuzhou, Jiangsu Province, replaced the Pikachu cake originally prepared for her 11-year-old son's birthday with a birthday cake full of textbooks, and the child collapsed and cried after seeing it.
But my mother not only did not feel that she had done something wrong, but even happily took a video and posted it on the Internet.
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In an interview with the media, the mother said:
"Recently, the final exams were approaching, but the child was still playing games every day, so in order to let him learn a lesson, I temporarily replaced the Pikachu birthday cake that I promised to buy him with a textbook cake."
The cake also had a line written on it: "The earth is not destroyed for a day, you have to write your homework."
Moms may want to show off their educational achievements, or maybe they think it's funny to see the scene of the child crying, but I really can't laugh at all after watching it.
Adults always teach their children to be "honest and trustworthy", but they personally write the four big words of "rebellion" on the cake.
Imagine if this mother had issued the year-end bonus for the New Year, and the boss had exchanged the prize money that had been prepared earlier into a cake full of data, tables, keyboards, and mice.
The cake also says "the earth is not destroyed for a day, the kpi assessment can not be broken", will the mother feel "the pressure is great"?
If this mother has a birthday and her husband buys her a birthday cake, open it to see that it is full of pots and pans, aprons, and mops.
The cake reads "The earth is not destroyed for a day, and the housework contract cannot be broken", will the mother be angry and want to hammer people?
Such a mother has no faith in her words, has long promised her child that she can't do things, and has no respect for her children's feelings, so how can she let her children believe in herself in the future?
The child is obviously unhappy after receiving the cake, but the mother is still happily filming the video, and lacks the most basic empathy for the child.
She only selfishly satisfied her desire to preach, mentally tortured the child, and highlighted the authority and status of her own elders.
Even if the mother did not expect at first, seeing the child crying like this, she should realize that she had done something wrong and apologize to the child seriously, but the mother turned a blind eye, or did not feel the child's pain at all.
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Mom's behavior has also caused heated discussion among netizens on the Internet.
Among them, there is a Weibo hot comment with more than 100,000 likes:
"Not stopping when playing games, not being happy on birthdays, this is not a humorous thing, it is a lack of morality."
Later, some netizens followed the comments:
"The mother obviously made an appointment with the child to want Pikachu, but she temporarily wanted to tease people, if you really want the child to learn a lesson, it is acceptable to set two in advance, so it is too disrespectful to the child, the child may not forget this sad birthday for the rest of his life." 」
A large part of the reason why something that was originally small can cause such a big fermentation is that many of us have been treated this way by our parents.
Some netizens shared her story:
Elementary school cram school, I don't want to go.
But every time my mom signed me up for a new cram school, she would promise me something to reward, so I agreed, but she never fulfilled her promise.
Later, I didn't listen carefully to the lessons in the cram school, and my grades were not good, and my mother criticized me at the door of the cram school, and I broke down and threw my bag on the ground and cried.
Passers-by stopped there to watch my jokes, and my classmates who were in class with me were whispering to me, and I was ashamed.
Even in high school, my mother actually took the "I was crying and falling at the door of the cram school" and laughed and told others.
So now my relationship with my mother has not been good, and I rarely come home for the New Year's Holidays.
In the book "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist", it is written that when we are in child mode, we will submit to our parents who are much stronger than us, and finally choose to compromise.
Many children usually do not have the right to express anger on the surface, and can only express their unhappiness by breaking down and crying.
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Our parents can ask themselves if they have ever done anything similar to their children:
Promised the child how many points to get, give the child a toy, but when the child gets this score, expectantly ask the parents to reward, the parents said rudely, let you study is not for your own good? Why are you still talking to me about conditions?
Children can obviously eat well, but parents always like to let children count math problems, memorize poems, and speak English at the table, and over time, as soon as the child arrives at the table, he will start to make trouble, and use the bad meal to fight with his parents.
Children who once came to us for consultation said that when they were young, they were afraid to eat, because when they ate, they were always educated, criticized, questioned, and had a lot of inner pressure.
Are the disobedient children in our minds raised by ourselves?
Writing this, I remembered seeing a TGD talk ---- "Adults – Don't Put Too Much Pressure on Kids," in which a little girl named Mary shared her story about stress.
"Mom and Dad, don't mention that bad school, don't mention whether I'm in Group A or not, don't mention that Frank can top 10."
We're just kids, we want to play, we don't have to think about what we should be tomorrow, next year, or 20 years from now, stop preaching to us.
Think of Einstein, who studied slowly, spoke slowly, was rebellious, and was later expelled from school, and people said he would never be able to achieve great things, but that did not affect him from becoming a great man.
Every one of our students, knowing him, each of us, listens to the famous sayings he wrote and uses the equations he invented. ”
Adults, don't put too much pressure on your children, and think about yourself who is dominated by work.
From a young age to give the child so much pressure, let him feel that his life is not a moment is easy, this may be the current children "temperament" and "psychological endurance" of the important reasons.
Let the child grow up comfortably and freely, than suppressing and forcing him, it is easier to cultivate an excellent, confident, sunny child.
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Write here, to share a story with you.
One reader said that I had a birthday when I was a kid and really wanted to have a birthday cake.
But when she carefully told her mother, on her birthday, her mother bought back a few pieces of loose cake embryos, the reason was that she did not like to eat cream, this sentence in her mind for more than 20 years, and then the girl did not ask her mother for anything.
After work, every year for her birthday she would buy herself a birthday cake, and the girl said that it didn't matter, and she wanted something that she could satisfy herself one day.
So you see, sometimes tears don't leave a lesson, it may be a scar that accompanies a child's life.
The child's birthday should be the happiest day for the child;
At the dinner table at home, it should be a place where the family can eat happily;
Our parents should be the most trustworthy people for their children.
Isn't it?
The above is to be encouraged by all parents.