Hello, today we explore the "different" upbringing of children with autism.
Recently, Little S's mother found that the growth of Little S is not only reflected in the guidance of teachers and parents, but also related to his different hobbies and stereotyped behavior.
Children with autism generally have some stereotypical behaviors. According to our normal educational thinking, it is to intervene as soon as possible, so that his stereotypical behavior is reduced and tends to be normal, so that he can integrate into society. But there are exceptions, that is, children with autism can also experience, reflect, and grow in stereotyped behavior.
ponder
When Little S was young, due to economic conditions and parents' awareness, Little S did not go through the intervention stage and has been following school to learn. Although it is difficult to integrate into the class and often clash with other children, mom thinks it would be better to grow up. After waiting for middle school, I did not develop according to my mother's expectations, but there was a problem near the end of junior high school. At that time, Little S clashed with his classmates, could not study in the class, and had to leave the school. At that time, my mother thought that if I had intervened early, this might not be the case.
Later, he experienced the middle school entrance examination, suspension, treatment, and resumption of school. After returning to school, her mother recognized Little S's special hobbies, namely playing games and taking the bus.
Every day after school at 7:30 a.m., I take a bus ride, and even twice on Saturdays and Sundays. In his own words, when the chest is tight, it can only be relieved by taking a lap of the bus, and then you can do your homework steadily.
At first, my mother felt that taking the bus was a waste of a lot of time, but later she changed her opinion and felt that taking the bus was also very meaningful to Little S. Because he basically has no friends, but his emotions also have to have an outlet, that is, to take a car or play with his mobile phone. As long as he is not emotional and does not make trouble, his mother will approve of his behavior.
Take the bus
One night after arriving home by bus, Xiao S always wanted to chat with his mother, who just finished the housework and felt a little tired, wanted to squint on the sofa for a while, and was very reluctant to nag with him. Another reason is that his mother wants him to write his homework as soon as possible and go to bed early after writing. Otherwise, I stayed up late and had to go to bed at more than 12 o'clock, which affected my study the next day.
But Little S must say, no way, mom endured to listen. Xiao S said, "When I took the bus, the bus arrived at a certain station, and the driver master shouted whether there was a bus, and no one on the car responded, so the driver master did not stop at the station, and crossed over." But at this time, someone shouted to get off, and the driver was angry. Just asked who got out of the car, no one responded, now want to get off. The driver scolded, then opened the door for the passenger and asked him to go down. ”
At this point, Little S was a little emotional and said, "If it were me, I would say "roll"! The mother said: "This passenger is also, the driver asked, he did not respond, waited for the station, he came to the matter, the driver scolded him can also understand." But if you strictly follow the rules, drivers should stop at each stop. If the passenger does not get out of the car when parking, it is very reasonable for the driver not to let him get out of the car after starting the car and asking him to get out of the car. It is not reasonable to let passengers get off the bus after starting the car. ”
After that, Xiao S asked her mother if she should learn to scold people as a driver. Mom said, "Swearing can only express emotions, and it is not good at solving the problem." ”
Little S said, "If I don't scold people, I won't feel good." ”
Mom didn't answer positively, but gave an example. It is on a bus in a city in 2018 that a passenger did not get off when he should get off, and when the driver started the bus to go to the next stop, the passenger had to get off. The driver does not drive, and the passenger and the driver clash, so that physical contact causes the bus to fall into the river, and no one in the car survives. It is because they are emotional, everyone pays the price of their lives, is it worth it?
At this time, Little S had nothing to say and agreed with her mother's point of view. It is useless to be emotional in case of trouble, and we have to find a way to solve it. "Don't be emotional when things happen, find a way to solve the problem", my mother has said countless times before, and Little S basically can't listen to it. This ride in the car prompted Little S to reflect, to discuss with his mother, and to basically agree with his mother's point of view. For the little S, this is a big improvement.
Communicate and discuss
Xiao S continued to ask, "If I were the driver, I would scold the passenger and try to beat him, and if the passenger sued me, would I not be able to be a driver?"
Mom said, "Yeah, the leader of the team can't let you drive, because you can't calmly deal with problems when things happen, and you are emotional, swearing, etc., and the quality is too poor." ”
This time, Xiao S chatted with his mother, although he wasted The time of Xiao S writing homework, his mother thought it was still worth it. From this, mom felt the growth of Little S, who hadn't asked these questions before. And he will blindly stand in the driver's point of view, will say to do with the passengers, scold or hit the passengers. And he couldn't listen to anything his mother said, but now he could listen to his mother's different suggestions, which really grew.
Mom thinks that taking the car really wastes a lot of little S's study time. Because each time you take a lap in the car for about 3 hours, the fastest one is more than 2 hours, and the time is wasted painfully. But from another point of view, it also helps the child's growth. He encountered various events in the process of riding in the car, caused him to think, and then came back to discuss with his mother, these are not the best practical activities for him to integrate into social life?
We'll stop here today, and we'll see you in the next issue!