dry
pre
teach
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It can promote the functional development of children in various fields; improving children's language, social, intellectual and other aspects of ability is the most direct and effective way for autistic children to recover. Parents should insist on training their children to intervene!
How much can a mother sacrifice for her child?
A mother
How much can it be sacrificed for a child?
A woman
How long can we fight against this unjust world?
In the world of autism
They are mothers
What kind of survival status is being faced?
01
Full time with baby
Xiao Luo's mother (pseudonym) is a full-time mother, during the epidemic period, the child's father traveled on business, and could not go home, other family members could not come to the house to help, the mother took the child alone to train at home.
Because Xiao Luo's ability is too weak, 3 years old just can walk, has not been able to talk, nothing will also yell and scream, play with other children of the same age less than a piece, although the family disagrees, people around her always gossip about her and the child, but Xiao Luo's mother does not care, she does not believe that fate is so for her, do not believe that the child is always like this, try to take care of the child, help the child grow.
● A person with a child, but also to the child to do training, not tired?
"How can you not be tired? I was alone with the kids and had to do training, which was really exhausting. Especially on special days of the month, when the children are sick, it is the moment when I am tired and cramping. However, I chose to get married and have children, and I had to be like a mother. When I have a baby, I should do a good job of being a mother. It's not my style to be born without nurturing. It is not the environment to adapt to themselves, but to adapt to the environment, not to mention that my children need me, my family needs me, and the usual heart will treat those helplessness in life to make life better. ”
● How to deal with tedious family affairs?
"My life schedule is very regular, I get up at 5 o'clock every day, take care of my own things, make a good plan for the day, prepare the teaching aids that need to be trained for my children during the day, and complete the housework that must be done in advance." The child eats, drinks, and sleeps, and is dealt with at any time. I insist on making food for my children every day, so that when I train, he will be more cooperative with me. At the same time, I also insist on recording every training process and doing the best I can. Life is like this, you always have to let yourself be relieved and calm. ”
● Positive upward learning methods with children
"No one is born to be a parent, and I will tell myself to learn." I don't expect to be a perfect mom, I want to be a 60-point mom. The child's ability is not good, then I will redouble my efforts, there are many parents in the same situation, there are also professional teachers with the patience to help, there is no obstacle that can not be passed! ”
02
While working, accompanying reading
In a special education school, there are twin children with autism. Every day, a figure will appear next to them, close to them, she is the mother of the twins Xiao Yanfen.
For 8 years, she worked in school while taking care of her children, like a shadow, guarding them.
The twins, whose names are Kim Il-jin-2, were diagnosed with severe autism at the age of two, and their limb movements and language cognition were worse than those of children of the same age.
When Jin Yijin was two years old, he began to enter the special education school for rehabilitation training. Because the family conditions are not good, when the children were 8 years old, Xiao Yanfen began to take care of them while working at school, "His father raised 5 people with a salary, and there was a grandmother at home, and I worked to reduce the burden on the family." The school provided Xiao Yanfen with a job as a cleaner, two children are free of tuition, and a dormitory is provided for the mother and son.
For 8 years, more than 3,000 days and nights, Xiao Yanfen was like a "shadow mother", accompanying two children in rehabilitation training without a single day of interruption.
"All the grades of the child, we parents have to pay a lot. I never thought they could ride a bike, and I got up at 6 a.m. every day and helped them learn to ride, and it was two at a time. I ran more than ten thousand steps in two hours a morning, and after a week of running they would be. Riding their bikes in such a big playground, they were very happy. Jin Yijin also learned to mop the floor, wipe things, and help her mother share the cleaning work.
"He wiped even cleaner than a normal person and wouldn't let go of a corner." I was hospitalized three times this year, this time with a hepatic hemangioma, and I relied on JinJi to help me clean up, and finally they were able to do their own thing. It felt like all the tears, all the sweat was worth it. ”
03
Family tensions
My child is now 5 years old, diagnosed with the autism spectrum at the age of 2, and could not speak for almost three weeks. After the diagnosis, our family fell into endless grief and pain, the more information was checked, the more consulted, the more depressed, the more sad.
After the child was diagnosed, the relationship between our family became extremely tense and depressed, and most of the year and a half in Fuzhou was spent with my parents helping to bring, cooking and hygiene every day, and accompanying the child to intervene in school intervention.
Because they are busy taking care of children, they rarely communicate with their families, so that their feelings for each other tend to fade, and they often quarrel over the problem of taking care of children. Coupled with the cost of intervention and expenditure in Fuzhou, the economic pressure is overwhelmed, and family relations gradually become tense.
After the children come back to us and intervene in the small county, we will often argue over the problem of educating the children. It is also affecting the outcomes of children's education and intervention, and now children's emotional and behavioral problems are slowly emerging.
My husband and I have been in a run-in lately, trying not to argue in front of our children. The education of children can no longer be carried out in the form of punishment, but should be based on positive motivation and actively make the family atmosphere good.
Autistic children come into the world, not their will, we bring them into the world, not the child's fault, nor the parents' fault. What we can do is to accompany our children throughout this life, no matter how long or short.
04
Divorce gives up career
On February 23, 1994, due to premature birth and difficult childbirth, Ma Xiaoqiu's eldest son Zhang Hangjun suffered from severe cerebral palsy and severe autism, severe obesity; twin brother Zhang Yuanjun suffered from moderate cerebral palsy and mild autism, and mild obesity.
In order to better take care of her two children, Ma Xiaoqiu quit her job. Ma Xiaoqiu said: "There is a doctor who said that the eldest can't live to be 16 years old, so I want to simply take good care of him in his lifetime, eat what he wants to play, let him be happy and happy, I will be satisfied, I will not ask for anything else." ”
Credibility can not withstand the cruelty of reality, after the original county went to school, the family pressure is getting bigger and bigger, stimulated and pressure by the outside world, the original county father is depressed, often can not sleep, a handful of medicine is useless. Ma Xiaoqiu was busy taking care of the children, and she was also physically and mentally emaciated, and she no longer had extra time and energy to take care of her husband.
When her son was 12 years old, Ma Xiaoqiu made up her mind to divorce and give the child's father a relief, she found her husband to propose divorce, and she took her two children back to her mother's house.
In the six months after the divorce, Ma Xiaoqiu has been on the verge of collapse, but she has dried her tears and learned to be strong: she is the hope of her two sons, and if she gets sick and collapses, her two sons will have nothing to rely on.
Over the years, Ma Xiaoqiu has heard many stories of mothers abandoning their sick children, but she said that she could not bear this heart no matter what. "In all these years, I have never slept – a good night's sleep, the eldest has not been able to stand since I was 6 years old, I am tired – sick, it is really painful.
But I never felt that it was bitter, I felt very happy with two children, just worried that one day I fell, and the two children were not taken care of. Can't speak, can't communicate normally, doesn't have the thinking of children of the same age, and especially loves to cry, even so, Ma Xiaoqiu still regards her two sons as cherished.
When Hangjun was 23 years old, he weighed more than 500 pounds, which also brought irreversible damage to his body. Because of heart failure and pneumonia, on December 19, 2016, he completed his short life and left peacefully accompanied by his mother, brother, grandfather and other relatives.
For more than 20 years, Ma Xiaoqiu took care of his two sons during the day, and at night he made a bunk next to the bed in Hang county, and he could only sleep for 2-3 hours a day, and his physical condition was getting worse and worse.
Taking care of two special children is really tiring, but Ma Xiaoqiu also has happy times, especially after leading The Old Eryuan County out to participate in activities, after seeing her son get the rank, certificate and prize, she will be very relieved, thinking that her efforts for so many years are worth it.
This year, Yuan Jun is 26 years old, and when he accompanies Ma Xiaoqiu out for a walk, Yuan Jun will always hold his mother's hand tightly, because he is afraid that his mother with bad eyes will not be able to see the road and wrestle. In the face of the media interview, Hara said solemnly: "My mother has a disease for me and my brother, and now I have to help my mother reduce the burden." ”
05
Saddled with huge debts, family abandonment
A 33-year-old rural mother with an autistic child lives with her mother-in-law and husband.
In order to insist on training the child to intervene, she ignored the opposition of her family and borrowed hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, just to save the poor child.
"My family no longer believed me, because I had spent a lot of money before, but the child did not get better, there was no slight improvement, and as time went on, the child's condition became more serious than before."
Because they live in the countryside, the family has no culture up and down, they do not understand autism at all, and the whole family feels that when the child is older, it will naturally be better. "I feel helpless and heartbroken by the ignorance of my family."
The family is paralyzed by themselves, and they must send their children to kindergartens, so that the children can go with the flow and fend for themselves. "In the case of children, they are giving up on children. I didn't want to give up on him, it was too painful for the child to live like this. It was me, not them, who had no way of understanding my pain and difficulty. ”
"Children often cry and even self-harm. Once, the child continued to cry for two hours, rolling on the ground, banging his head against the table, and patting his head very hard. When I came home in the afternoon, I found that it was the child's mouth that had several bubbles, very deep, and the mouth was swollen. Diarrhea again, pulled four times, the child's stomach hurts, do not know how to say, can only pat their own head hard. But the family can only helplessly look at the child, do not know how to be good, simply let it go. ”
"People on the outside don't understand or don't understand autistic children, but the family can't understand it, and they keep telling me to give up, and their requirements for children are: as long as they can take care of themselves, it is enough." But how can I bear to do this to him, he is the flesh that fell from my body, he is a living person, not an animal, not an object, how can I say give up and give up! ”
Burdened with great psychological and financial pressure, the mother still strives to overcome everything and provide a good intervention environment for the child as much as possible. Although the family chattered about cold water every day, although she never got the support of her husband, she still refused to give up the slightest bit, alone, and guarded the child every day to do training, even if it was only a little progress, it was a great spiritual comfort to her.
"I'm going to stick with it and stop caring what the other people say or think." No matter what, I will not give up on my children! ”
The female is weak, and the mother is strong.
Every autistic mother is doing her best to protect her child.
On their shoulders is not only the future of their children, but also the hope of the whole family.
Whether it is a thousand miles of glaciers or a thousand miles of snow peaks, maternal love can always solve all problems.
While paying tribute to every ordinary and great mother, we also hope that the country and society will give them more love and support.
Give each star and light one more torch;
Add more strength to every mother's love!
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Institute of Autism
Focus on the research and intervention of autism spectrum disorder, committed to serving the autism spectrum population, intervention institutions, hospitals, etc., building an authoritative and comprehensive autism rehabilitation platform, providing personalized and accurate services such as autism spectrum disorder life cycle health management, and escorting the autism spectrum population.