"Mom, will you always love me?"
"Yes."
"What if my grades are very poor and I don't do well?"
"You get a perfect score, I love you, you get a zero, I love you too." My love for you, without conditions. ”
- Mother Deer
◆◆ ◆
Author | Clouds
Source | Daughter pie original
"Mom, I'm sorry, I... I..."
After work, I saw my son's look of wanting to talk and stopping, his eyes were red and wet, and he knew that he had just cried when he looked at it.
Actually, I knew what my son was going to say.
A few days ago, the midterm exam results came out, and my son was still at the bottom, and the class was sixth to last.
When the teacher first sent me the grades, I was so angry that I almost wanted to smash my phone.
Looking at the Bao Mama group, each of them played the midterm examination "Versailles" culture, showing off vigorously, I could not help but feel lost in my heart.
So, when I saw my son standing in front of me in embarrassment trying to "confess", the unknown anger instantly rushed to the brain.
I chose to sit on the sidelines and let him stupidly pestle there.
In the end, there is even a sarcasm:
"Me me me me, me what I am!"
"Don't think I don't know!"
"How did I give birth to such a stupid son as you?"
However, within a few seconds of the words, I regretted it.
I saw my son crying and apologizing to me violently: "I'm sorry Mom, I failed the exam again..."
A small face tensed, fingers constantly fiddling with the corners of the clothes, and the head buried lower.
Tears rolled down his cheeks.
I suddenly realized that the child's inner entanglement and embarrassment.
In the past two months, the child's efforts, I see in my eyes.
However, as a mother, when the child fails the test, the first thing I give is not encouragement and encouragement.
Instead, it is an opportunity to vent the anger in your heart.
I remember a sentence on the Internet: "No matter how well your child does well, please remember to hug him." ”
The child who failed the test actually most wanted his mother to think and do this...
"It's so happy to be your mom"
My girlfriend once complained to me about one thing.
She and her husband can also be regarded as a primary school bully from childhood to adulthood, along the way, key middle schools, key universities, master's degree graduates...
She wrote a good article.
The husband, even more incredible, has been a "mathematical genius" in the eyes of everyone since he was a child.
Husband and wife, this combination, can be described as "both liberal arts and sciences".
Having a son, do not seek to be smart, and a good villain should also be a little small.
However, the 10-year-old son is a scumbag, and the number of english and science is not satisfactory.
What is even more sad is that my son has worked hard, taking classes seriously every day, writing homework, and going to tutoring on weekends, not once.
The husband beat his chest countless times and complained:
"Why do two master's degree graduates give birth to a scum son?"
In contrast, the girlfriend is much calmer.
One of her words still impresses me:
"Mother and son, we don't have much time.
He is sensible, warm-hearted, filial, and when I am sick, he knows how to take care of me.
I am very happy to be his mother. ”
Repeatedly tasting, I can't help but feel a pang of sadness in my heart.
As there is a passage on the Internet:
"Don't abandon your child and shame, don't complain that raising a child is tiring, in a few years, he may not be around you." 」
It is not the sins of the previous life that will have a scum son.
It is only after you have cultivated the fate of several lifetimes that you have met in this life. ”
At the age of 3, he went to kindergarten for the first time, did not understand, and cried as soon as he left.
At the age of 7, he went to elementary school and had friends of his own, and his parents were no longer the only ones.
At the age of 13, he is in junior high school, has more things to worry about, and secrets are no longer shared with you.
At the age of 16, he began to live on campus, and the familiar bedroom had become his hotel.
......
Count, there are still a few years left.
There will be no more little people in the study, the bed in the room is empty, and the lamp is dusty. Every night, it was pitch black.
Will you miss that fleshy back, sitting there, writing for a while, playing with the pen for a while, raising your head and shouting "Mommy"...
Will you miss the days when you woke your son up every morning.
At that time, will you still think about it, what about the 10 points and 20 points of the less exam?
Parents and children can get along day and night, which is the greatest happiness in this life.
"Child, I know, you are here to repay the favor"
In the variety show "After School", the girl Wu Huanrui once confided her sad experience.
My mother worked as a worker in a printing house, with a meager income, and it was difficult to make a difference in her life.
But she was not dead-hearted, and her unfulfilled wishes were all pressed on her daughter's body.
From time to time, she bitterly "morally kidnapped" Wu Huanrui:
"Mom is reluctant to eat, reluctant to wear, and puts all her hopes on you, hoping that you can get ahead." 」
She asked her daughter to compete for the first place in everything, forcing her daughter to read and study.
But the daughter always failed to meet her requirements, and the family was miserable.
I remember the famous Taiwanese writer Wu Nianzhen said a sentence when he found that his son's mathematics was as bad as his own:
"What we can't do ourselves, don't embarrass the children."
The longer you become a parent, the more you will discover a heart-wrenching fact:
After all, children will be like us, slowly moving towards the ordinary.
As the gaokao data shows:
In all of China, only 2% of those who can be admitted to the top 985 universities;
And the Qingbei, which everyone yearns for, is even more, only two in ten thousand.
In this world, 95% of people will eventually fall into the dust and become an ordinary person.
A few days ago, a neighbor aunt who had a son and a daughter in the family brought up this matter.
Strange to say, a mother's womb came out, her eldest son was clever and clever, and the second daughter was extremely ordinary in all aspects.
The two children's current situations are also completely different: the eldest son went to Shanghai to work and settle down, with an annual salary of one million, while the second daughter stayed in the local area and found a job with a monthly salary of five thousand, which was worth living.
It is reasonable to say that the family should favor the eldest son.
But the strange thing is that every time the aunt mentions the child, she will praise her daughter, and it hurts to praise her filial piety and carefulness.
On the contrary, when asked about the eldest son, the aunt's eyes will be a little red.
Sometimes I sigh:
"When I was old, I found that compared to my son, my scumbag daughter came to repay the favor!"
Although there is nothing to do, it is valuable in people and close.
When parents encounter an accident, the daughter is always the first to rush over and ask for warmth.
Such a child, there is no ambition, but the mentality is peaceful, do not complain or be discouraged, willing to live a simple life of ordinary people in a down-to-earth manner, how can it not be a fortunate thing?
Not every child can stand in the center of the stage.
If the child can't become that shining star, then let him become the person who applauds people on the side of the road, and it is also a success.
"There is nothing wrong with the test, let your mother hug you"
Backstage at Daughter Pie, a mom told such a true story.
My son, who had just started first grade, once came home from school and said in frustration that he had only scored more than 70 points.
In other words, as an ordinary mother, either cut her head and cover her face and scold, or teach a bit and urge her children to study well.
This mother did everything in her power.
The mother picked up the test paper, did not deny her son's efforts, but encouraged: "It is remarkable that such a difficult question can score more than 70 points." ”
Not only that, but the mother also took her son to buy good food and vowed to celebrate.
The son looked surprised: "More than 70 still need to celebrate?" ”
Mom's answer made people feel soft inside:
"The first time you take a score of more than 70, of course, you have to celebrate."
Yeah, just once.
Rather than success, knowing how to accept failure is the best compulsory course in a child's life.
Failure is the norm in life.
Seeing the child's efforts and teaching the child to be able to afford to lose is far more valuable than just winning.
Former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton once wrote a letter to An 8-year-old girl who was not doing well in school, Morales.
There are a few blood-boiling words in the letter:
"Most importantly, you fight for what you believe in, and it's always worth it."
"You will continue to learn and grow for years to come."
"Never stop doing the right thing."
Encouraged by it, the girl soon came out of the haze of failure.
On the contrary, in life, when the child fails the test, the parents sneer at it:
"How did you take the test?" These nights, I really taught you in vain. ”
"Everyone else's family has a score of 100, you mean this, do you mean it?"
"Can you be a little bit out of the ordinary?"
……
Every word is hammered on the child's heart.
Where can a child regain his faith?
Sanmao once wrote in "The Battle of a Lifetime":
"The greatest sorrow of my life is not that I have not earned the whole world, but that you please appreciate me!"
No matter how bad the child is, wise parents must know how to affirm the child.
Because this is the driving force for a child to lose repeatedly.
Yesterday, before going to bed, I solemnly said the wrong words for myself and said "I'm sorry" to my son.
I thought my son would give me a cold face.
I didn't expect my son's answer to be very warm:
"Mom, I know. You are too nervous about me, it doesn't matter, I still love you very much, there is so big! ”
The son said as he drew a "big circle."
Holding my son, my tears could not be controlled, and they came down.
I remember the actor Sun Li said:
"Children can make our lives more perfect, because they love them so much, they are willing to show them the best of us." 」
Dear son, my mother wants to tell you that my mother will always love you, no matter what your grades are, whether you are a bully or a scum.
In mom's eyes, your most important role is my son.
Among thousands of people, meeting you is the greatest happiness of your mother's life.
I only wish, looking after each other, all the way forward.
*This article is original to the Daughter Pie. My family has daughters, and there are women who do everything. A parenting platform that millions of parents follow.
Honey, if our article is helpful to you, "star us"★! That way you won't miss the daily push!