At the marriageable age, many people will pay special attention to the factor of the original family when choosing the other half, because the family has a great influence on shaping a person's personality. Some people don't like families with too much economic strength, some people don't like single-parent families, and some people don't like second-marriage families.
Children of second-married families often have difficulty finding their significant other. Because their families are too complex, if they marry, the other half is likely to have irreconcilable conflicts with their elders. Last year, changsha happened to such an incident that attracted people's attention, a married woman and her husband's stepmother tit-for-tat, in-laws and in-laws repeatedly accused, and even made her home difficult to return. Whose fault is this? What role should the husband play in this matter?
Xiao Wu university for four years with his boyfriend Yang Mou like glue. Xiao Wu is a lively and cheerful girl, while Yang Mou has a gentle personality and is an "old good man" in everyone's eyes. After the two graduated, Xiao Wu unexpectedly became pregnant in 2019, so the marriage plan of the two of them was also put on the agenda in advance. However, just before the marriage, some contradictions quietly emerged.
Yang mou is a very well-behaved big boy, and Xiao Wu's parents praise him. But his family is more complicated because his parents are second married and he has a strong stepmother in the family. Xiao Wu and her parents did not care too much at first, the two families discussed a dowry of 120,000 yuan, and Yang's parents added an additional 200,000 yuan as a subsidy for the purchase of a marriage house.
Since Yang's parents opened an electrical appliance store, they decided to send several electrical appliances as gifts. When everything was ready, something went wrong at the wedding. Just when the two newcomers were toasting their parents, Xiao Wu shouted "Daddy" to his father-in-law, but shouted "Auntie" to his mother-in-law, and the scene was once very embarrassing. More embarrassing things are still to come, and Yang also calls his stepmother "aunt".
As a stepmother, Aunt Liu had a strong smile on the surface, but the hand holding the wine glass trembled with anger. Father Lao Yang frowned and did not say anything, but everyone at the scene saw this scene and pointed out. Fortunately, the celebrant hurried over and the wedding was able to continue.
This incident became the fuse of contradiction. When the wedding ended on the night, Xiao Wu and Yang returned to the marriage room, but found that the father-in-law was crowded inside and refused to come out, Xiao Wu opened the door and found that the whole room was a mess, the bedside table was full of in-laws' items, and even the medicine that the mother-in-law often took. Xiao Wu felt very bad, dragged Yang to live in a hotel for one night, and the next day the two of them returned to Xiao Wu's house.
Because the father-in-law has been occupying the marriage room and refusing to leave, they can only live in Xiao Wu's mother's house temporarily, but Xiao Wu's father Lao Wu is very sad. Before marriage, Yang's parents clearly said that they would pay 200,000 yuan as a down payment for the wedding room, but they did not cash in after the marriage; the originally negotiated 120,000 yuan dowry was still owed 60,000 yuan. Even those few electrical appliances were not gifted, because Xiao Wu had revealed to them after marriage that his stepmother had asked him for 20,000 yuan, otherwise he could not go to the store to pick up electrical appliances. Xiao Wu, a newly graduated college student, where to get 20,000 yuan, he cobbled together a lot of college classmates' money to deliver 20,000 yuan.
The bride price, down payment, and electrical appliances have not been cashed, and the little two cannot live in the marriage room, and can only squeeze in Xiao Wu's home, what is the difference between this and recruiting a door-to-door son-in-law? Two years later, the couple's children were also one year old, and sometimes when they returned to their homes in Changsha occasionally, they had to have a big fight with the Yang family. Xiao Wu really couldn't stand this grievance, so he informed the media about this matter, hoping that they could help him mediate the family conflict.
At first, many people sympathized with the stepmother. She said that Xiao Wu did not respect herself and threw her face at the wedding; Yang had never called herself "aunt" before, she was shouting "mother", because she had never treated her stepson badly, and as a result, he "forgot her mother" after marrying his daughter-in-law, which must be Xiao Wu provoking. That's why she retracted her promise and didn't want to honor the bride price and down payment.
However, Xiao Wu said that her husband Yang had long had enough of the original family. The stepmother, Aunt Liu, is actually a "little third" who destroys other people's families, not only entering the house, but also always being partial to her own biological son. Yang Mou's personality is relatively weak with his father, so he did not dare to resist his stepmother from childhood, and could only shout "Mom" to himself. In fact, his heart has always been very rejective of this family, so he left home after the end of the college entrance examination and ran to Henan to go to college.
Aunt Liu argued again: Where do you know about the things of the older generation! It turned out that at that time, Aunt Liu did not know that Old Yang was married, and she was the one who was "Little Three". The whole thing is actually very clear and clear, the starting point leading to this contradiction is actually Lao Yang, who originally had a family, but as a result, both ends were hidden, and he cheated in marriage. Now the culprit Lao Yang watched silently as his wife and daughter-in-law confronted each other, occupying the marriage room like an old Lai and refusing to leave. And Yang Mou, who should have been reconciled, also did the same as his father, only knowing to escape from the center of the dispute and push his wife to the front to block the knife.
Although the matter ended with a good ending, and the mediator resolved the contradiction, but looking at the contradiction, in fact, we will find that the hidden problems of the original family can easily spread to future generations. Yang has been living humiliatingly and has a grudge against his stepmother, but in fact, his misfortune was brought by his biological father. After reorganizing the family, the Yang family basically depends on the stepmother to support themselves, and the big things and small things are decided by the stepmother. Estrangement and misunderstanding between the two generations eventually buried resentment to this day.
From the perspective of Xiao Wu and Yang's marriage, in fact, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have done something wrong. Xiao Wu wanted to be angry for her husband, so she called her stepmother "aunt", but the title should also be divided into occasions, and it was indeed disrespectful to the elders to do so at the wedding; and Aunt Liu did not fulfill her promise, and the bride price was only 60,000 yuan, and the down payment was not paid. Xiao Wu's parents worked hard to raise their daughters, but now they are watching their daughters marry wrongfully. The so-called "further exhaustion of mountains and rivers, one step back from the sea and the sky", if the two sides had taken a step back, they would not have been so stiff.
Article 1043 of the Civil Code of China: The family shall establish a good family style, carry forward family virtues, and attach importance to the construction of family civilization. Husbands and wives should be faithful to each other, respect each other, and care for each other; family members should respect the elderly and love the young, help each other, and maintain equal, harmonious, and civilized marriage and family relations. Family is everyone's inner harbor, if this harbor is perennial war, then it is difficult for people who sail outside to withstand the wind and waves. The family is the support for everyone and the softest place. Only when family members live in harmony with each other can the whole family be healthy and the whole society can develop harmoniously.
(The names of this article are pseudonyms, and some of the pictures are network maps; the article is prohibited from reprinting and plagiarism)