Cultivate the most interesting and practical psychology every day
In many classic love stories, love seems to be able to transcend reality, can break many obstacles of reality, age, identity, seniority, social background, economic foundation and even gender are not enough to shake the status of love in people's hearts.
However, in real life, there are many factors that still need to be considered, after all, the characters in film and television dramas are fictional, and in real life, they need to spend their lives with their lovers.
So, what exactly is the age gap that is most appropriate for a couple?
In fact, this problem can be analyzed from a psychological point of view. There have been many netizens who have shared their views on this issue on Zhihu, and I have compiled several of the highest praise answers as follows.
For example, netizen A said that she was 9 years behind her husband, and her age did not become an obstacle in their love and she was very happy and sweet after marriage.
However, with the passage of time, more and more problems that two people need to face together, and the generation gap in thinking and concept has also emerged.
Although nine years old is not a big age gap, but if you want to get along day and night, everything is when two people make decisions together, I have to admit that the gap between the two people is still very large, and their future married life has also buried a lot of hidden dangers.
Netizen B said that her husband is 3 years older than himself, and now he has been married for 5 years, his husband has reached the age of standing, he is down-to-earth, and his emotional life with her husband is also very stable, and it is very compatible and harmonious in any aspect.
Netizen C said that her husband is 6 years older than himself, although the two people have a big age gap, but there is no generation gap in thinking, the rhythm of life and living habits are very consistent, the concept of work and the understanding of society also have a high degree of fit, the so-called age gap, it seems that it has not brought much impact to their love.
In fact, the results of the survey on the global age gap between spouses show that the country with the largest age gap between couples worldwide is Mauritania, where the average age difference between couples is 9 years. The age gap between filipino couples is the smallest, with an average difference of 2 years.
In contrast, according to China's data, the average age gap between husband and wife in China is 2.19 years old, most of which are men older than women, which shows that the age gap between couples in different countries and regions is different.
Under the influence of traditional ideas, people are more inclined to find a partner who is the same age as themselves, because people of similar age can have more common topics and less conflicts after marriage.
People born and raised in the same era enjoy a similar social environment and receive similar education, and the three views will be relatively similar, and it is not easy to form huge contradictions in thinking.
In married life, men are slightly older than women by one to two years older, which is conducive to the harmony and stability of family relations.
The results of the survey data show that the age gap between husband and wife in China is also shrinking. Men's behavior and performance after marriage are more likely to affect the age gap between a couple.
Those men who are mature in their thinking and behave appropriately are more likely to make their married life harmonious and stable, even if they encounter certain storms and problems in life, they can calmly face it and strive to make the results of things go to the best results. Therefore, most women like to find a partner who is older than themselves.
What is the most appropriate and happiest age difference between couples? In fact, the age gap between husband and wife is best within the range of 5 to 8 years old.
If it is beyond this range, it will be difficult to maintain the marital relationship, and the probability of problems between husband and wife is relatively large.
In addition, economic ability is also an important factor affecting the relationship between husband and wife, for most families, the economic foundation of the family is built by the joint efforts of the two to ensure the normal economic expenses of the family.
If something goes wrong financially, it's easy for a couple to crack. As the saying goes, "Poor couples mourn." "If even the most basic survival needs cannot be met, the relationship between husband and wife will naturally be problematic.
If the age gap between the husband and wife is too large, and the older party does not have enough financial strength, then such a couple will inevitably fall into an embarrassing scene in middle age.
The older party retires and has little savings, and most of the financial pressure on the family is on the person who is still working, and such asymmetry will definitely cause psychological pressure on both sides.
Moreover, the retirement of one party basically means a decrease in family income, so the economic problems that need to be faced will be more serious.
Finally, from the perspective of raising offspring, the age gap between husband and wife should not be too large. Whether male or female, one party is too old means that the child may take a certain risk, and for women, the risk of giving birth at an advanced age is also high.
In summary, psychologists suggest that the age gap between husband and wife is best controlled within 8 years old, so as to make the relationship between husband and wife more stable and long-lasting.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Vogel, D. L., & Wester, S. R. (2003). To seek help or not to seek help: The risks of self-disclosure. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(3), 351.