Wen | the original diary of The Little Fish Daddy, welcome to forward and share personally
In today's era of abundant talents, it is no longer a high-scoring talent, but also a high-quality talent.
In order not to cultivate students with high scores and low abilities, moral education has become an important part of school education, and gratitude education is regarded as the top priority of moral education.
Many schools and training institutions assign students "Chongyang Festival to give grandparents a back beating", "wash their parents' feet", "help their parents do housework" and other related homework.
But what is the effect behind these assignments?
Mr. Zhang's daughter is a fifth-grade student, in order to teach children to learn gratitude, the teacher assigned an extracurricular assignment a few days ago - to help dad wash his feet, and asked to send a video of washing his feet to the class group.
Mr. Zhang thought that washing his feet should be a happy thing to wash his feet, and he was looking forward to it.
But I never expected that my daughter's next behavior was like a basin of cold water poured down from Mr. Zhang's head, which was really cold!
After all the foot-washing work was ready, the daughter held up her mobile phone in one hand to take a video, and with the other hand, she stroked twice in the water, and then turned away without turning back, leaving her lonely father who had not yet had time to move and ended the experience.
From this point of view, these activities and undertakings that hold the banner of gratitude education are extremely process-oriented, and they cannot let children understand the true meaning of gratitude, and eventually they will only evolve into formal behaviors or ritualized feelings.
What is True Gratitude Education?
The lack of true gratitude education in reality may be slowly destroying your child, and we must not pay attention to this matter.
First of all, gratitude education is not equal to filial piety, most parents think that the so-called gratitude education is to teach children filial piety, in fact, this is their own anxiety, lack of self-confidence.
It is repeatedly emphasized that gratitude is for the good of children, and gratitude equals filial piety, which is not only utilitarian, but also invisibly puts moral shackles on children.
True gratitude should be spontaneous, proactive behavior, which may be a heartfelt action that the child sees or receives help from others in his daily life.
Secondly, gratitude is the return of love, if we can love children unconditionally, tolerate their mistakes, and actively help children when they encounter problems, then we will also receive the return of love, so gratitude is the result of two-way action
Again, children learn that gratitude is a gradual process. Children's cognition will continue to develop with age, do not let children learn to be grateful, "seedlings to promote growth" will eventually backfire.
Finally, parents should also understand that education begins at home, and you yourself are the teachers of your children.
If you want your child to learn to be grateful, then parents should know how to be grateful to the people around them, grow up in a loving, good family atmosphere, and children will naturally be subtly affected.
Sometimes your heart and lungs may just be self-touched
But in real life, even if we understand the true meaning of gratitude education, all our efforts may not be exchanged for the child's one-minute response.
If you want to cultivate a grateful and excellent child, parents should not only dig out their hearts and lungs, but also pay attention to the nourishment of their children's spiritual world.
A mother complained in the circle of friends: because of the illness and discomfort, she did not cook for the child in time, and the first sentence of the child when she came home from school was to ask the mother why she did not cook? After the mother explained the reason, the child did not care at all, but entered the room very coldly, which made her immediately wonder what she was raising the child for.
In fact, the parents who are not cared for by their children and put in their hearts in life are not her alone, and it is the norm for most families to ignore them.
The root cause of this phenomenon is that parents are too doting on their children and do not teach them to shoulder their responsibilities at an age when they should be responsible, so in their world parents do everything they deserve.
Therefore, once parents cannot meet the needs of their children, they are exchanged for complaints.
Filial piety comes first, and filial piety is the obligation of children. Parents should not overprotect their children, let their children understand the real situation at home, and do not deliberately conceal it.
Only in this way can children understand the hardships of their parents from the bottom of their hearts, be grateful for everything they have, and gradually establish a sense of responsibility.
But education is moderate, parents can not let children feel that they pay too much for themselves, and then produce if the learning is not good is sorry for their thoughts, this heavy thinking will increase the child's psychological burden, but is not conducive to growth, which requires us to grasp in daily life.