Wen | condensed mother's understanding
Looking back on 2021, it is really a bumpy road, the elderly, children, and themselves have encountered countless "accidents", and it is difficult to say a word.
What bothers me the most is my son, who stumbled before the middle school exam, took a leave once a week, did not write homework for 2 months before the exam, and was not easy to enter the key high school. I thought that I could let go of the pressure from now on and start to fight for the goal, but I still overestimated him.
After going to high school for more than a month, in October, after the first monthly exam, my son was tired of school life, depressed, and unable to study with peace of mind.
One rainy night, the son found the teacher, said he wanted to go home, and told his troubles. He felt as if he had returned to the unforgettable days of junior high school, depressed and bored.
The teacher called me to take him home, and I was in tears all the way, and my heart was heavy, and I was eager to fly to my son's side, not wanting him to have any mistakes.
On the way, I constantly adjusted my emotions, thinking: It is a good thing that children can express it, indicating that they are looking forward to solving problems and pursuing upwards.
I also secretly reduce my expectations for my child in my heart, as long as I am healthy and happy, so that I can talk to my son calmly and solve his troubles.
This time, the son was also super cooperative, we sat face to face, talked for 2 hours, the son finally spit out his troubles, and also came up with the idea of not wanting to go to school. We discussed some countermeasures, and my son was satisfied and said that he would continue to go to school.
After this long conversation, my son's mentality also improved a lot, every time I went to pick him up, I could always see his smiling face, and sometimes I could play a petite, as if I went back to the primary school stage, and I was very pleased with his changes.
What is the knot in the child's heart, and how do we do it? Make a little summary and share it with friends who need it.
After my son went to high school, he had two knots: one was that he felt that he had no friends, and the other was that the teacher was too strict in management, and he could only study all day long, and there was no time to do things that interested him.
Speaking of the problem of friends, I have seen that some parents have said that their children go to school to learn, not to make friends. But from the child's experience, not having friends at school is like taking online classes at home, lonely and painful. With friends, children feel a piece of sunshine around them, and they will be full of vitality in doing anything, which has a positive role in promoting learning.
Speaking of strict management of teachers, as a parent, you have to steal the fun, strict out of the grades! But the child doesn't buy it.
My son thought it was beautiful, thinking that when he went to this high school that focused on personality development, he was free to do what he liked and participate in various club activities. But the reality is that there is a lot of homework, and I can't finish my self-study, so I don't have time to do other things. And there are discipline requirements, self-study is to write homework, study, can not do things other than study.
Ideals and reality clashed, and the son had a huge gap in his psychology, he had a very sense of restraint, and he was powerless to break free, feeling helpless and painful.
The son said that going to school delayed his future development, and he planned to make short videos in the future, and if he did not practice, he would be strange. He wants to simply drop out of school now, do short videos, and work with people with the same interests, and he will be motivated and happy.
I can understand his ideas, but I can't accept it, and I want to persuade him to continue to have fun in school.
"I wish my parents had read this book" mentioned that when raising adolescent children, please remember what your own adolescence is like. This works, and I often approach my child's problems in this way.
Hearing my son talk about his friends, my mind went back to my high school days, when I was also confused. After going to college and working, the understanding of friends gradually became clear:
It is enough to know oneself in life, and we cannot expect everyone to become friends. When I was in high school, my friends were just classmates in the same dormitory, and there were only one or two who were particularly good.
Classmate love is very valuable, even if you can't say a few words, when you ask for help, you can get a quick response. I remember once my mother was sick, and I was in a hurry to find a few doctor classmates to help, and even the unfamiliar classmates solved my urgent needs.
Sometimes it feels like you don't have friends, or it can be an illusion. For example, talking to a classmate, the classmate did not respond immediately, it may be that he did not hear, did not understand or was busy with other things, just delayed, not deliberately ignored people.
There are different friends at different times, I will meet new friends at school and work, and the friends I often contact now are colleagues at work, not high school classmates.
I also used facts to guide my son to find that he actually had friends, and his classmates were friendly:
For example, students who learn robots together, students who take photography together, and forget to make friends.
When walking on the road, classmates will take the initiative to say hello when they see their son.
Therefore, we must have confidence in ourselves, have confidence in making friends, help others more, share more, and it is easier to get friendships.
After some conversation, the son also realized that he had friends and was confident in friendship. Since then, I have often found that my son helps other students, such as recharging school cards, downloading songs, sending items, etc., when school is over, talking and laughing with classmates, and even chatting with high school classmates.
Now that the network is developed, children understand a lot of information, but they can only see the phenomenon and cannot see the essence, and we need to tell the truth to children with reality.
Like the short video that my son wants to do, it is very popular, very hot, very popular, but it is not a casual individual who can shoot, and it may not have traffic. The rules of the platform change too quickly, the audience preferences are changing rapidly, and if there is no professional knowledge to support and no qualifications, it is difficult to cope with round after round of change.
I myself do self-media, and I feel very deeply. In the past few years, it was easier, as long as you work hard to write, you can earn tens of thousands of yuan every month. But now to make efforts is not necessarily a harvest, or no traffic, or low unit price, it is difficult to earn 1,000 yuan a month. If you bet hard and really take this as a rice bowl, your life may become a problem in the future.
Mainly because ordinary authors like me, who do not have any qualifications, are not graduates of prestigious universities, and do not have particularly unique knowledge, cannot always be recognized by the platform and readers.
Looking at those authors from Peking University and Tsinghua University, those experts and professors, even if they say a word or two, are very popular. This is because they not only have famous schools, qualifications, and professional knowledge.
I also often read their content, can get new understanding, can gain some knowledge that is very useful to me. Their learning experience and work experience determine that they can develop to a higher height.
Shooting technology is important, without professional knowledge to do the core, it can only be an empty shell.
Knowledge is priceless, adolescence is the golden age of learning, missing this time and wanting to go back again, neither time nor energy and mentality.
Therefore, I still hope that my son can continue to go to school, have a professional ability in the future, whether engaged in technical work or short videos, have the ability to respond to changes at any time, and the prospects will be better.
My son knows my current predicament, and this information is supported by clear data, which can be seen by a casual search on the Internet, so I am very convinced of what I am told, and I am willing to go to school, but I just want to have more time to do things that interest me.
I communicated with the teacher and got a very satisfactory answer. Fortunately, the teacher understands the child very well and specially applies for a classroom for the child to support him in doing what he likes. Since then, my son has been actively going to school every day, and although there are still many improvements, I am already relieved to go to school.
To sum up, children are tired of school, the cause is that they feel that they have no friends and do not want to be rolled up, but in fact, the key is that they do not want to roll in and want to continue to develop their interests. After 2 hours of long talks, the son realized that he had friends and that the desire to develop interests was solved, and he was willing to continue school. Hopefully, 2022, I will continue to study hard.
[Heart] Tip: If your child is bored with school, don't be impatient. Communicate with your child calmly and understand the specific reasons. Think about whether you encounter the same kind of problems at the age of your child, and use your own experience to understand and help your child. Let children have goals, dreams, from the perspective of helping children achieve their ideals, use actual data to influence children, and solve problems with practical actions, children can realize the importance of learning.
I'm @Gelma Goku Mother of two boys, more than 10 years of parenting experience Accompany children to read, English enlightenment, science enlightenment Share parenting insights and land parenting dry goods Welcome to pay attention and move forward together on the road to parenting
#2022育见美好 #