When the mother is a little crooked, the parenting is very positive! (Wen | Crooked Mother)
Even now that our lives are getting better and better, in many places, there are still many poor families. In our opinion, perhaps the most ordinary learning environment, learning stationery, some poor families parents can not meet the children, and even make people a little sad.
The parent's "homemade school bag" determines whether the child is inferior or confident
Some children in poor mountainous areas are generally in a difficult condition, they do not have glamorous clothes, and even the school can not afford to require everyone to buy uniforms, there is no exquisite school supplies, what they can have are simple but durable and practical things, which do not include school bags.
Crooked mothers have seen a report before that many school bags used by children in mountainous areas are made by their parents, but even if they are "homemade school bags", they can reflect the real situation of a family.
The same is made of nylon bags, one child's school bag is woven with blue nylon, and one child's school bag is directly sewn with unwanted nylon rice bags, and the two children's school bags are in stark contrast.
As can be seen from the photos, children with woven nylon school bags can confidently stand in front of the class to show their bags. The other child appeared to be very inferior, and one of the backs looked pitiful and bitter.
Also carrying their parents' "homemade school bags", the two children have completely different psychological states, why is this so? Woven nylon is naturally more thoughtful and delicate than directly stitched nylon bags, and the degree of care of parents also determines the child's mental health. The other may be that the family is really poor, but more or less parents are a little perfunctory in their attitude towards their children.
As parents, poverty may be a reality that is difficult for us to change, but in the parenting of children, we must try not to be perfunctory. And the child who sewed the nylon bag on his back because of the perfunctory of his parents, may have been lively and cheerful, but at the moment it is full of negative energy of inferiority.
As parents, we may always want to give the best to our children, but after all, everyone's strength is different, and the material conditions that can be given to children are also different. You can't give the child such good material conditions, but you must not perfunctory the child, the parents' perfunctory is very harmful to the child.
Parents perfunctory children, what is the bad impact on the children?
1. Let the child have an inferiority complex
Children feel the perfunctory of their parents, which will make children have an inferiority complex, and they are afraid to do anything and dare not move forward. Over time, children tend to become disconnected from society or be depressed in their own space.
2. Spiritual poverty, a lifetime of no solution
Material poverty may be temporary, life is long, and there are many ways and means to change the original trajectory of life. But spiritual poverty is a lifetime, if the child feels that he is very "poor" from childhood, not worthy of having good goods, even if he grows up to have the opportunity to change the status quo of poor life, it is difficult to go out to realize his own value, and he will do nothing for a lifetime.
Parents should do this so that their children always feel valued
1. Refer more to your child's opinions
For example, the homemade school bag mentioned above, when parents make it for their children, they can ask more about the child's opinion: "Sew it well this way, let you be the back of the bag, do you like it?" "How do you think your mother met this bag?" Such inquiries make children feel that they have a sense of participation, even if the final effect is not recognized by the people around him, he will feel that this is the bag he likes and he participates in the "design", and will not feel perfunctory and have an inferiority complex.
2. Supervise children to do things in a guided manner
Many parents will think that I am your elder, and you should listen to me as a child, so that the education of children is in an "imperative" tone. "Stop watching TV, write your homework!" "Stop playing! Learn to go! "As children grow up, they also feel more and more oppressed and think that their family status is very low. We might as well do it another way, for example, if we also want our children to turn off the TV and do their homework, we can say, "Is the homework done?" What time is it time to write homework? This kind of guided questioning makes the child feel that he is in control of himself, but also plays a role in supervising.
Crooked Mom Conclusion:
Each child is an independent individual, not an appendage of the parents, as parents we should respect the children, value their opinions, rather than perfunctory them, so that they can grow up healthy, happy, and confident.
Today's topic: What do you think parents can do to make their children feel valued? Let's share it with you.
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