My friend's child was in the first grade, and in the first semester I often heard my friend complain, tutoring her child made her angry and her heart, liver, spleen, lungs, and kidneys hurt, and she was depressed.
Although the old mother was exhausted, the child still came home first to and pee, and then to find an eraser, and every day less than half the night, resolutely did not start writing homework.
A semester has passed, and the style of painting at my friend's house has changed from the original management to a complete "letting go". Friends said that after listening to the theories of some education experts, they decided not to care about anything, so that children could learn to manage themselves.
I think the doll must be on the right track. My friend said she didn't care now. It is also unclear how well the child's homework is. The teacher will take care of him.
I'm a bit blindfolded, and the style of painting changes too quickly.
Human mythical beasts are full of mystery and change. Should it be "free-range" or "carefully kept in captivity".
1
My neighbor is another free-range way of educating children.
The neighbors are busy at work, and the children have been helping to bring the children by their grandparents. Neighbors also adhere to the concept of diversified development, never increase the burden of learning on children, and will not interfere more in children's lives. Neighbors have always wanted to raise their son to be a well-rounded child with moral, intellectual, physical and aesthetic development, and also believe that captivity will make children become a nerd who only knows how to read.
Before school, the neighbor always felt that she was a hot mother, the child had a very happy, carefree childhood, and the child was particularly assertive, she was sure that the child would develop in many ways.
However, when I went to elementary school, the neighbors obviously felt that my son's abilities were inferior to his peers in all aspects. Because he usually does not pay attention to the exercise of his son's ability, resulting in his son's academic performance not improving after school, and he does not pay attention to cultivating his son's interests and hobbies, so now his son only knows how to play games. Over time, the child lost self-confidence, began to slowly become uninterested in anything, and began to get by.
Neighbors also found that the child gradually developed some bad habits, and now wants to educate the son, the son also began to have a rebellious psychology, it seems that free range parenting, is not as perfect as we think.
2
What are the bad effects of improper use of free range education on children?
1. The child lacks a sense of rules
Parenting experts say that the improper use of free-range education will make children lack of awareness of rules, and such children are extremely unruly in life. Because in life they lack the constraints from their parents, which leads them to challenge the rules when they face the rules, such children are easy to become in the class at school, and they are also prone to doing things that violate the law and discipline in society.
2. The child has no self-control
Many parents throw their children aside when they are free-ranging and completely let them go, which is very detrimental to cultivating their children's self-control. Because the child's behavior has never been constrained by the parents, resulting in them being particularly willful, they often encounter things for three minutes of heat and never stick to it, nor do they know how to control their behavior. This kind of child is often very willful in life, doing whatever he wants, and will not self-discipline.
3. Children are becoming more and more rebellious
Children in the process of growing up, need parents and teachers to teach children some good behaviors and habits, and the improper use of free-range parenting will make children lose this education, when the child grows up, infected with many bad habits, parents and teachers want to change him is very difficult, children will be more rebellious at this time, because they can not accept the constraints from parents and teachers.
3
Letting go of parenting is not the so-called laissez-faire of ignoring the baby, but the basis for companionship.
Lin Jiaxin, who has a good parenting, said: "I must learn to let go and try them as much as possible, such as letting my three- or four-year-old daughter brush her teeth and wash her face, and don't over-arrange it as a mother, they must also be responsible for themselves." When asked about Lin Jiaxin, who has two daughters, will she have a lot of worries about her daughter growing up? Lin Jiaxin said frankly: "I am not worried about my turn, but to teach them how to establish values and understand right and wrong, we must learn to judge." "The guidance of parents should play a role in four or two strokes, not in all aspects."
The so-called free range is that the big things can be carried out clearly, and the small things are let go for the children to try.
Meng Fei revealed that he had never "managed" his daughter's studies, nor would he force his grades or put a lot of pressure on his children. He confessed, "Many parents project what is missing in their hearts onto their children, and this pressure and negative emotions will be passed on to their children, allowing them to bear things that they should not bear at their age." Meng Fei's remarks were praised by netizens, and some netizens said, "I really hope that my parents can see Grandpa Meng's words, and happy growth is the most important." ”
4
What is true free-range education?
1. Giving your child freedom doesn't mean letting go
When it comes to free range education, many parents have the wrong idea at the beginning, and many parents feel that since it is free range education, they cannot interfere in their children's affairs and let their children grow. In fact, this is not right, and parenting experts say that true free-range education is to give children a certain amount of freedom within a safe range, and does not mean that parents should let go completely. Children will encounter many unstable factors in the process of growing up, and these factors are likely to bias the child, so even if the child is free-range education, parents still have to keep an eye on the child.
2. Reduce learning pressure and encourage children to develop in all aspects
Captive parenting means arranging your child's life, being precise to every aspect, and putting more pressure on your child's learning. The focus of free-range parenting is to reduce children's learning pressure, cultivate children's interests, and encourage children's all-round development. Today's society is becoming more and more diversified, and what is needed in the future is this kind of all-round development of talents.
3. Do not force the child, guide the child to become a self-disciplined person
Free-range parenting means that parents will not interfere too much in the child's life, nor will they always supervise him, so it is necessary to cultivate the child's self-consciousness and self-discipline, which is the most important point of free range education. Children who are released tend to have more self-discipline than other children. This means that children do not need parental supervision and can learn step by step. Parenting experts say that children who are raised free-ranging have a certain degree of control over their own lives, can alleviate the anxiety of life, and gradually learn self-control.
5
The combination of captivity and free range is the most scientific way of parenting
1. Captivity habits, free-range thinking
Professor Li Wenjin, a well-known parenting expert, said that when educating children, we should pay attention to cultivating children's habits and diverging children's thinking. In the parenting style, you can combine captivity with free range, keep the child's good habits in captivity, and support the child's creative thinking, which is the most scientific way of parenting. Therefore, when raising children, parents must pay attention to cultivating children's behavior habits and do not restrict the development of children's thoughts.
2. Captivity awe, free range bravery
Some children who are raised free-ranging lack of awareness of rules, and always lack a reverential heart in the face of rules, so it is necessary to let children have a certain reverence for authority through captivity. Then teach children the quality of bravery through free range, so that it is conducive to the child's all-round development. It neither makes captive children too timid nor too reckless to support children.
3. Captivity affection, free range independence
Excessive captivity will make the child too attached to the parents, and the complete free-range child, although the child is more and more independent, but the relationship between the child and the parent is always like a veil not so close. Therefore, parents can cultivate their children's affection through captivity, and use the method of free range to cultivate their children's independence. The choice of these two parenting methods must pay attention to a limit, and must not exceed this limit, otherwise it is not conducive to the development of all aspects of the child.
Regarding captive parenting and free-range parenting, it is difficult to say that one party is the most suitable, and only by combining the two methods is it more conducive to the development of children. The child's growth process is simple, just a few years; complex, all aspects need to be carefully cultivated by parents. Therefore, in the face of children's education methods, parents must pay attention to and understand these two parenting concepts before they know how to educate their children.