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Zi Lu said: "May I smell the will of the Son." Zi Yue: "The old man is safe, the friend believes, and the young man cherishes it." ”
This is Confucius's answer in the Analects when Zilu asked Confucius about his ambitions. Confucius did not treat his own students differently from his own students in educating his children. This is our ancient sage.
Looking at our current aspirations, especially as parents, how can we ever learn a little from Confucius? Has he ever really read the Analects? (It is strongly recommended that everyone start reading the "Four Books and Five Classics") Most parents are looking forward to jackie chan and hoping that the daughter will become a phoenix.
Two things have happened recently that have made me feel very different, and at the same time I am asking the question: What exactly is it like to educate my children to be successful?
01--- 80-year-old grandma Xie Guiyuan, who lives alone, takes a video to talk about loneliness
An old grandmother in Zhuzhou, Hunan Province, alone on a short video platform, told her loneliness to the video, and directly rushed to the second place in the hot list. In the video, the grandmother says this:
"I am so lonely, alone, my children, not by my side. My daughter is in the United States, my son is in Guangzhou, and I have 8 grandchildren, all of whom are not on my side. They do it for their livelihood, for their families. But I'm alone now. Three meals a day, I didn't bother to cook. In the past, they all said that I cooked the best food, and now I don't even think it's delicious to eat by myself...."
Screenshot of the video is as follows:
Finally, the grandmother said: I want to open.
These 3 words - "think open", how many kinds of feelings are contained in it, if not the parties who can understand? If you have not yet watched this video, I strongly recommend that you go to see it, although listening to the grandmother, full of pride, is also a success, but the lonely figure alone, and feel sad.
The children raised by the grandmother are all excellent, and they all go far away from home to take root in that place called "foreign land" to give birth to the next generation.
We should not have restrained the growth of children in the name of "parents", let alone restricted the development of children with "raising children and preventing aging". However, when an old man spends every day of his 80s, 90s, or even 100 years old alone, as a child, is my heart really at ease?
I think this should be regarded as a typical example of Jackie Chan and female Chengfeng, and the children are "Jackie Chan, Chengfeng", but this 80-year-old parent, on the one hand, is indeed proud from the heart, on the other hand, it is also really lonely from the heart.
Let's look at another thing.
02 Dr. Tiger Dad asked his 7-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter to learn Chinese and high numbers.
Let's start with the news reports:
A doctor in Nanjing, "Tiger Dad", forced the children of primary schools to learn high numbers, he often taught the knowledge of middle school and university to his two children, let the two children learn literature and higher mathematics, but the son is only 7 years old, in the first grade, the daughter is only 5 years old, still in kindergarten. In the process of educating children, they often insult and insult children, and even beat them. In desperation, my mother could only apply to the court for a protective order.
In fact, it is understandable for children to learn Chinese language, after all, it is part of the Chinese language, and it is not a bad thing to cultivate a sense of language and language from an early age. But!!! We have to consider the child's ability to accept! When children are young, when they can't recognize all the words, they should pay more attention to the method and pay attention to the step-by-step approach.
As for the matter of letting children learn high numbers, I think: this doctor tiger father is a pervert!
7-year-old and 5-year-old children, even when the basic geometry, parabolas, and functions of junior high school are not understood, when they teach children trigonometric functions, sinα, conβ, these letters are not necessarily recognizable, they begin to learn high numbers? Well, taking a step back, even if the child has finished learning the knowledge of junior high school, can they fully understand and accept the high number at such a young age?
I really want to ask: is this so-called Doctor Dad? Isn't he only full of knowledge and no life experience?
What's even more ridiculous is that the video introduces that the police, teachers, and community workers have all coordinated, and the "Doctor Tiger Dad" still does not realize that his education method is wrong.
It's just "incredible"!! Finally, it is said that the mother can only apply for a protective order from the court.
The court's final ruling was: prohibition of child beatings, prohibition of restriction of personal freedom, etc.
The fables that are fueled by the seedlings were learned in elementary school. As a doctor, I have a high degree, but I really lack the basic common sense of life.
This kind of person is really a disgrace to the "doctoral" degree. Some netizens said: I will not count high as a college student, let alone a 5-year-old kindergarten child? This is simply incomprehensible!!!
03 written at the end
Two stories, two different perspectives.
One is an 80-year-old woman, through the careful cultivation of herself and her wife, the children have been cultivated to be particularly excellent, each child has gone far and high, and has made greater contributions to the society and the country, while the parents who are getting older can only be alone. So many netizens said that do not train children too well; some netizens persuaded Grandma: You are too excellent, for the country for the society to cultivate several pillars of material, but did not give birth to a child for yourself ... (It seems that this sentence, why do you want to cry so much?) ）
The other is a young and vigorous highly educated father, who is afraid that his children are inferior to others, and constantly uses extremely "perverted" education methods to cultivate his children. "Eager to win" can be understood, but with a high degree, doesn't he know that everyone is born with their own mission?
Strive to do a good job in each stage of life, and the rest of the things will be resigned to fate!
Netizens commented on this doctor Tiger Dad: This is the parent of the perverted inner volume, such a parent is very few, really an outlier.
Through these two things, I would like to discuss with you a question about family education: as parents, what kind of people do we want to raise our children into?
Is it like the children of the old lady, everyone is excellent, and then, flying away, not seeing once in a few years?
Or is it like Dr. Tiger Dad, the child is originally well qualified, and he must help the seedlings to consume the child's interest and enthusiasm?
Or is it enough for us to just want our children to grow up healthy and safe?
This is something that parents should think deeply about.
Once we, as parents, know what we want, we won't get caught up in the vortex of "how good our children are." Because we have children, we do not come to compare, but because they are a unique new life with flesh and blood and our blood.
No wonder some people say: Children with bad grades are here to repay the favor. Because of poor grades, poor learning, and poor ability, I can only stay by my parents' side. Isn't taking care of one's parents a god-given grace and happiness? However, this kind of happiness is generally not realized until the age of 80.
We spent more than 80 years looking for happiness, we chased the wealth and status of the car beauty, in the end found that in addition to the safety of children, the health of the family, food and drink, everything else is not enough to hang on to ah.
(Image source network, invasion and deletion!) ）
I am the old aunt Nana, writing, dedicated to the dissemination of excellent traditional Chinese culture! May you be born to the sun and not afraid of the gullies! Welcome to follow and discuss. Inspire wisdom and grow together!