The love that is chased by bitter pursuit is easy to form a deformed love relationship, and if you talk about love, it must be two hearts. Love is not worth it, but also has to pay, sacrifice, investment, tolerance, but have you ever asked yourself, is your love real love?
So when you say and swear that you have encountered love, you may wish to ask yourself first whether it is a one-person one-man show or a two-person round dance.
As Maugham once said:
"One of the two lovers always loves the other, and the other just allows the other to accept the other's love. This is a painful truth that most of us must obey. But occasionally there will be two cases where they are in love with each other and at the same time they are in love with each other. ”
Although it is very heartfelt, it is also a fact, many feelings just seem to love each other, in fact, one party is only resigned to and accepted the love of the other party, and the love of the other party is unscrupulously asked.
So what is true love?
1, love is not mutual gaze.
"The Little Prince" says: "Love is not staring at each other, but looking in the same direction." "Two people have a common goal, and can do everything they need to do for the realization of the goal, here are two key words: common goal; common rush.
Implemented in life, it is bound to be responsible for each other's future, and in the planning of the future, there are each other, and then set the same goal.
Common rushing also includes the values of common struggle, not saying that I want any future, but will only sit back and enjoy it, forcing you to work hard to achieve it for me. For example, I am willing to spend money for you, but you can always think about our future and think about saving some unnecessary expenses.
If the other party is always emotionally kidnapping you, or taking a posture of blindly demanding, then this is not love.
2, love is mutual respect.
All love that is not based on mutual respect is not true love, maybe he is good to you in form, but in the final analysis, it is all to control you, or to kidnap you with this good, then what he loves most is only himself, narcissistic love.
True love can respect each other, no one wants to change whom, can fully and absolutely respect each other is an independent individual, and with an inclusive heart, to accept each other's shortcomings and deficiencies.
Even if the other party becomes no longer cute, but still can explore his cuteness, this is the real love, can stand the test of time, the scrutiny of time.
If he is always thinking of changing you and controlling you, he must believe that the purpose is to make himself better enjoy in this relationship.
3, love is close to each other.
Love is a two-way rush, you are willing to run a long way to see another person, the other person is also willing to cross the mountains to see you, two people have a strong psychological desire to get close to each other, not all the time, the other party is passive, always you take the initiative, always you go close.
If the eyes can deceive people, then the body is the most honest, depending on whether each other has the psychological desire to be close to each other.
What is the most afraid, he doesn't love you, just boring, just lonely, and you just bumped into it, everything is because it's just right. Then you become his pastime when he is bored, the companion when he is lonely, and in the process of getting along, only when he is bored can he think of you, or only when he encounters things, he can find you.
4, love is mutual fulfillment.
A very attractive passage that says:
"True love is the independence of two trees, looking at and contrasting with each other, but each becoming a landscape; true love is the love of two clusters of flowers, admiring each other's beauty, and breathing freely; true love is the distant gaze of two stars, thousands of years of waiting, but never feeling separated." 」
It's okay without you, but it's better to have you.
On the basis of each other's independence and mutual respect, because of each other, it also makes each other better and better, and has been on the road to mutual perfection.
This means that true love is willing to change oneself for the sake of this love, and if a person is never willing to change himself, then at best you love him. Also, because of the existence of love, we will better understand ourselves and accept ourselves, provided that love is healthy.
5, love is the restraint of the self.
Only if you really fall in love with a person, you will willingly pay for a person, pay for a person, and in turn, if the other party really loves you, he will treat you like this. If it's just what you give for him, it's just what you give for him, then it's not love.
In addition, love is also a heavy responsibility, and only then has the restraint of the self, including the management of desire and the restraint of instinct.
So no matter when, no matter what kind of temptation they face, each other can make loyal choices, but also take into account each other's feelings, and can maintain an absolutely safe distance from any member of the opposite sex, which is a minimum of self-awareness.
If a person says he loves you, but you always have to endure his rudeness and affection, then this is just a third-rate soap opera in the name of love.
This is the performance and proof of true love, but for many couples and lovers, it is often just a matter of looking in love. So true love, of course, is worth it, even if there are more sacrifices and sacrifices, but some love is not real love, is it still worth it?
Feelings can also deceive, or short-lived pleasures, which may be fascinating in the moment and make you unable to let go, but will soon bring you greater pain.
Never be confused by the appearance of things, the most afraid that you will cause a lifetime of pain because of a momentary happiness, a deformed love relationship, the impact on life is extremely far-reaching.
In love, we can't be too shrewd, nor can we be too calculating, but the premise is that no matter how noisy, the other party is still the person you are very sure of "worthy", the person who can make you say "I do" again and again.
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