Wen | Zhang Ping
The illustrations | from the web
Is it better for women to talk more about love, or is it better to talk less about love?
In the past, I thought that women had less experience in love and their minds would be more simple, but now that I think about it, it is not a good thing to talk more about love when I am young.
Falling in love is actually a process of trial and error, and falling in love always fails, that's because you haven't found the right person, and once you meet the right person, you will find that falling in love is actually not as difficult as we think.
The word love sounds beautiful, but in fact there is a lot of helplessness.
Some people have never experienced love in their lives, and some people have talked about one love after another. Although love is very sweet, it is also painful, and many people both desire love but are also afraid of love.
Every age has an attitude of each age, when you are young, you feel that love is everything, so once you love, it is both blind and fierce, even if you love the wrong person, it doesn't matter, it is a big deal to start again.
But once we get older, we will be more cautious when facing love. Because the love after maturity is actually not only love itself, but also more responsibility.
01。
The TV series "Star Sea" has just started broadcasting, and the topic has continued. The heroine Jane Ai, played by Liu Tao, lost her parents as soon as it started broadcasting, and Little Jane Ai was forced to grow up overnight.
And just the day before, she was enjoying the love of her parents, who had not slept all night in order to make a princess dress for her. Jane Ai wore a skirt to school and was envied by many of her classmates, and on that day, she won an award for her essay about her parents and was used as an example by the teacher to read in class.
Originally, Little Jane Love, like other children, had a wonderful childhood.
Her mother was beautiful and talented, would buy her books, tell her all kinds of stories, and although her father was honest, he loved her more than anyone else, and importantly, in her family, his father loved his mother deeply.
If it weren't for the fact that she had dyed her dress red that day because of her menstrual leave, the teacher wouldn't have let her take a leave of absence to go home, and if it wasn't for the leave of absence, she wouldn't have accidentally bumped into her mother dating another man.
If it weren't for the fact that her expression betrayed herself, my father wouldn't have seen the signs, and if it weren't for that, then my parents wouldn't have quarreled.
Every time she thinks about the death of her parents, she hates herself very much, and feels that it is because of her own fault that she has broken this family. But in fact, she did not understand that without her, without this series of coincidences, there would still be such a result.
Because the mother will still choose to leave in the end, and the father will still not let go. In the world of feelings, one person has let go, and the other person has been slow to let go, and the result is bound to be tragic.
02。
Both physically and internally, mothers and fathers are not the same kind of people. The mother loves to wear beautiful skirts, loves to read poetry, and is romantic by nature, while the father only knows how to make clothes to make money and is very pragmatic.
But the mother chose her father anyway, and perhaps from the beginning she thought she loved the man. When a woman is young, it's easy to fall in love because a man is good to her, but in reality that feeling is not love.
So when the mother realized that she did not love her father, and that she had learned what love was from other men, she began to become righteous.
Even if she loses little Jane's love, she will leave her father and be with the man.
The tragedy of this marriage began with the mother's wrong choice, and her choice indirectly harmed her daughter's life.
Since the death of her parents, Jane Eyre, who has no one to rely on, has almost been sent to a welfare home and finally adopted by her aunt. But her aunt did not raise her to really love her, but to spy on the money her father had left her.
Even if she lives in her own house, but because of the arrival of her aunt and cousin, Jane Eyre's life is still marginalized, and it is really difficult for her to live happily in such an environment.
03。
Just looking at the beginning, but it has already aroused people's thoughts. Are parents selfish for their own happiness?
In the play, in order to pursue her so-called happiness, when Jane Loves her mother and father file for divorce, they say that they have been depressed for a long time.
She doesn't love this man, and she doesn't want to endure it for a minute, but she is willing to endure such a life for the sake of her daughter Jane Eyre. If it weren't for the man, maybe she would have endured a lifetime in such a marriage.
There is a sentence that I agree with, she said: No matter how Mom and Dad are, you will always be our favorite baby.
If she hadn't fallen in love with someone else in her marriage, if she had restrained herself and started a new relationship after ending the marriage, then I would have felt like everything she said was right.
But precisely because she got the order wrong, even if she said something beautiful, it would still feel less sincere.
Of course, from a woman's point of view, maybe she deserves to be understood and forgiven, after all, a marriage without love is really painful in itself, and if there are conditions, or without hurting others, everyone has the right to live the life they want to live.
But people live not only to satisfy their own desires, especially as parents, in love and affection to know how to make trade-offs, even if you really want to pursue your own happiness, then you must use the right way, and it is best to get the child's understanding, only in this way, the child can truly accept the changes in your relationship.
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About author:Zhang Ping, psychological counselor, marriage and family counselor, well-known emotional self-media. I have wine, do you have a story?