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The first day of kindergarten is often a time of challenge and anticipation for parents. Children begin an independent life in this new environment, and parents are often relieved or worried about their children's performance. Psychological research has found that most of the children who do not cry on the first day of kindergarten come from specific types of families, which is related to important factors such as attachment patterns and personality development.
Attachment patterns and the relationship between the first day of kindergarten
Before the age of 3, or even before the age of 6, the child's dependence on the mother is extremely high, and the attachment relationship formed will play a decisive role in the development of personality in the future. Psychologist John S. Bowlby classifies attachment into three types: secure, avoidant, and ambivalent. These three types of children exhibit very different attitudes when faced with the situation of "separation from their mother", and this attachment pattern is largely due to the attitude and behavior of the mother during the parenting process.
Secure children: When their mom leaves, they show feelings of sadness, sadness, and longing, but they are able to adapt to their new environment and relationships. This kind of attachment relationship of children is based on the patient and gentle interaction of the mother, who believes that they are loved and can trust the world!
Avoidant children: When faced with their mother's separation, they show apathy and detachment, and do not seem to feel overly sad about parting. Such children may come from families that have been rejected or neglected in the process of growing up, and have developed a tendency to close themselves off and not express their needs and feelings easily.
Ambivalent child: Shows intense anger and resentment when the mother leaves, and shows an unacceptable attitude towards separation. Such children may experience emotional conflicts and fluctuations in the family, forming emotional instability.
The secret behind the child who doesn't cry on the first day of kindergarten
Most of the children who don't cry on the first day of kindergarten come from avoidant families. They show an indifferent attitude when faced with separation, unlike the sadness of the secure child and the anger of the ambivalent child. This apathy is not something they are born with, but it may be that growing up, they were rejected too many times, causing them to learn to isolate themselves from their emotions.
Avoidant children usually learn to be independent in the family, they are sensible, not clingy, less demanding, and give people a sense of being carried. However, it also means that they may have a harder time expressing their emotions and forming deep emotional connections with others. When they face separation without crying or fussing, they are actually expressing a passive resistance, rather than true independence and adaptation.
The relationship between attachment patterns and character development
Attachment patterns have a profound impact on the development of personality. Different types of children exhibit very different attitudes and behaviors when faced with dilemmas and challenges.
Secure children: Relatively peaceful in personality, they are able to quickly adjust their emotions and adapt to new environments. They are socially competent, optimistic, and have greater tenacity and perseverance in the face of difficulties.
Avoidant children: Although they are well-behaved, they are shy and unsociable, have difficulty integrating into the group, and express relatively few emotions. May appear too reticent in the face of challenges.
Ambivalent children: Temperamental, capricious, and may cause more distress to their parents in the family. They are more direct in their emotional expression, but their mood swings are large and difficult to stabilize.
The influence of parenting style on attachment patterns
The different attachment patterns that children form depend largely on their mother's attitudes and behaviors during parenting. Patient and gentle mothers are able to raise secure children, while mothers who are immersed in their own world may raise avoidant children, while mothers who are rejective and critical may raise ambivalent children.
Parents should know how to appropriately adjust their emotions and establish a close emotional connection with their children in parenting. Giving your child enough love and support to develop healthy attachment patterns can help develop a positive, independent, and socially competent personality.
epilogue
Understanding a child's attachment patterns can help us better understand their personality and behavior, providing guidance for the right parenting style. On the path of a child's growth, the love and emotional response of parents is the most precious gift, which will lay a solid foundation for the child's future and develop a healthy and positive character.
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