19-year-old boy stabs classmates with knives: teach children to deal with relationships, parents can do this!

Not long ago, the news that a 19-year-old boy in Shanghai scratched a classmate with a knife in a training institution rushed to the hot search.

Fortunately, the police arrived at the scene in time to control it, and the classmate did not suffer much damage, just some skin trauma.

Later, after investigation, the victim classmate was the boy's class leader, who usually restrained and disciplined his behavior of playing with mobile phones, arriving late and retiring early, and he gradually became unconvinced, and only then chose to assassinate the killer in the end.

Many parents have expressed great concern that the educational environment does not protect their children's lives, and they are even more worried about their children's social problems, which will bring serious consequences similar to those in the news.

Interpersonal communication plays a very important role in children's development, but conflicts between children are inevitable.

How to help children correctly face campus conflicts and reasonably resolve conflicts is a compulsory course for children's healthy growth and personality improvement.

How can I help my child prevent conflict incidents in school?

01

Teach children self-respect, self-love, and self-preservation

Many children who suffer from school bullying will have self-doubt at the first time, thinking that they are really bad and will be bullied, which will make the situation of school bullying persist.

In fact, school bullying is especially likely to occur in children with low self-esteem, who are bullied and do not resist.

In many cases, some parents suppress their children's self-esteem at home and ask their children to be obedient, and such children are likely to be bullied at school. Therefore, parents should teach their children to face bullying bravely and protect themselves.

02

Keep children away from "school bullies"

There is a kind of child who is usually silent, but he is not bullied: he sees the domineering child coming, quietly walks away, usually does not stand in a team with the domineering child, does not play games with him.

"Can't afford to hide" is also a realm, children have this awareness, do not deal with the "bully" from the beginning, the possibility of being bullied will also be reduced.

03

Teach children to learn to ask for help, and parents accept their children's emotions

Encourage your child to seek help from a teacher, parent, or friend if they are being bullied. Let the child realize that there is no shame in asking others for help.

What parents need to do is empathize and accept their children's emotions.

When the child is bullied, give him a warm embrace, listen to his inner feelings, soothe his emotions, guide him how to deal with the situation himself, how to avoid being hurt again.

How to guide children to deal with relationships and conflicts correctly?

You know, in the process of interpersonal communication, contradictions and conflicts are problems that every child will encounter, but they may not be very good at solving interpersonal conflicts, and this time is precisely when children need the guidance and help of parents the most.

And the way we deal with it determines whether you are raising a giant baby with "low emotional intelligence" or a child with high emotional intelligence and a sound personality.

As a parent, of course, you don't want your child to be a person who can't interact, and you don't want your child to become a reckless and extreme person, so when there are problems with children, it is very necessary for parents to give their children appropriate guidance.

Therefore, when children encounter interpersonal conflicts, parents should remember the following 4 key steps:

Step 1

Accept your child's emotions

When children contradict others, there may be various emotions such as anger, fear, anger, etc., and when a child's heart is filled with negative emotions, his brain is unable to think and judge rationally, and naturally cannot make rational and appropriate behavior.

Heimgite, the father of communication, once said:

There is a direct connection between children's emotions and behaviors, positive emotions or a calm state of mind can trigger good behavior, and when the child feels good, he will naturally become reasonable.

Therefore, when the child has interpersonal conflicts, please accept the child's emotions first and help him digest the negative emotions.

Step two

Guide your child to be aware of the emotions of others

The purpose of this is to let children slowly learn to be aware of what emotions words and actions may bring to others, so as to avoid conflicts with others.

In addition, parents can also share or discuss emotional feelings with their children to let their children have this understanding: how to deal with different emotions in different situations, such as "with the same students, tantrums, we should learn to listen or stay away".

Step 3

Guide your child to find a solution

After laying the groundwork in front, the child's emotions have been cooled down, becoming calm and rational, and we can guide the child to find a solution through heuristic questions.

For example, you can say to your child: Let's think about what other solutions can be solved besides anger or fighting.

It should be noted that no matter what unreliable methods the child proposes, we must suppress the power of the flood in our hearts and do not deny and evaluate his methods.

If you can, take a pen and paper or mobile phone to write down the methods proposed by the child, which is the greatest respect for the child, and the child will be more willing to participate in thinking and solving problems.

If the child really can't think of a way, parents can tell the child to ignore the other person for the time being and divert attention.

Step 4

Guide the child to consider the consequences of the behavior

Parents can find a time to "review" the conflict that has occurred with their children, review the causes and consequences of the incident, and the possible consequences of different behaviors of the child.

In this way, first, children can be taught to use "before" and "after" sentences to describe a thing and guide children to think; The second is to help the child imagine the possible consequences of various situations and the responsibilities he may have.

Parents can ask their child a few inspiring questions, such as: What would have happened if you had hit him? You have now chosen to communicate with him, and what happened? What kind of results do you produce?

In this way, the next time the child faces a similar interpersonal conflict, he will be better able to think and come up with an appropriate solution to the problem.

Please remember that guiding children to find the solutions they want to solve and develop high emotional intelligence is based on respecting children's feelings and needs, and believing that children have the ability to think and solve problems.

The road to raising children is full of hardships and challenges, and I hope that parents will use their patience and scientific and effective methods to cultivate children with high emotional intelligence with sound personalities.