The child from the teeth and teeth to the green years, he looks at the clear sky, he feels that the world is bright; he smells the fragrance of flowers, he feels that the world is beautiful; what he hears is laughter, he feels that the world is warm... But if the child sees quarrels, anger, disorder, then the world he sees and perceives is quarrel, anger, disorder. What Mr. Understander wants to tell parents is that most of what he sees, smells, and hears when a child grows up comes from you.
Whether your children have a good world view and correct values is related to the spiritual nourishment you injected when they were young. A good example of behavior is to give them the best nourishment for growth.
In raising children, these 3 behaviors of parents must be paid attention to, otherwise it will affect the child's life.
First, it is easy to lose control of emotions and explode at one point
I know that there is a hot post: how much influence do parents have on the formation of their children's three views?
There's one answer that caught a lot of people's attention: "In my 20s, I felt a deep sense of powerlessness when I found out that the content, tone, and demeanor of my complaints were exactly the same as those of my family. ”
A child who grows up in an emotionally grumpy family is usually subjected to great mental stress and emotional abuse. The way adults treat emotions is a reference for children to deal with emotions in the future. Yelling at the child, insulting at the spouse, under the emotional catharsis, the child thinks that all families use verbal violence to solve problems, and subtly he also learns to use anger to solve problems.
Do you think that emotional out-of-control is just an expression of anger? Do you think your yelling and insults have nothing to do with your children? Don't take chances, everything you show in front of your child is closely related to the formation of your child's personality. Their initial impression of emotions comes from their parents. The cultivation of personality is half inherited, and half comes from the acquired environment.
Children who grow up in such families have two extremes in personality: either they are timid and afraid of things, or their temper is as hot as their parents. Therefore, as a parent, we must learn to control our emotions and not let bad emotions fall into an endless vicious circle.
Second, there is no sense of rules and do not abide by the rules
Not long ago, when a mother rode a battery car with her child to run a red light, after being stopped by the traffic police on duty, the mother actually spoke in front of the traffic police in front of the child, a look of "I am weak and I am reasonable" and "I am in a hurry I am justified".
After this matter was filmed as a video by passing netizens and transmitted to the Internet, it triggered a wave of hot discussion:
"You don't want to live yourself, but don't take the child with you"
"Wrong is wrong, even children who are scolded are in the eyes, what kind of education is it for children?"
……
In fact, it's not uncommon for parents to take the lead in not following traffic rules. People who often cling to luck either do not have an accident and an accident ruins their lives. There are many examples of safety accidents caused by non-compliance with traffic rules, and even so, some people still regard the rules as nothing.
In early childhood, it is the critical period for children to establish a sense of rules and order, and these behaviors of parents will not only bring great hidden dangers to the physical and mental safety of children, but also lead to children's lack of rule awareness.
Children who lack a sense of rules have such obvious manifestations in daily life: there is no concept of right and wrong, there will be no normal interpersonal communication, and it is easy to go astray.
"If there is no dam to contain, the Yellow River will act arbitrarily"; "If there is no rail restriction, the thunderous train will destroy people." In the same way, in the education of children's growth process, if there is a lack of cultivation of rule awareness, the child's world will be chaotic and lack of constraints.
It is not only reasonable to call education, but the words and deeds of parents are also an education. As a parent, please be a person who follows the rules.
Third, words without faith, say one set and do one set
How many parents set rules and break them at the same time.
While teaching children to follow the rules, they take the lead in breaking them. For example, a woman riding an electric car with a child, ignoring the red light, does not slow down at the intersection in the slightest, and gallops straight forward. In the middle of the intersection, the woman was hit by a straight car and fell to the ground, and the child behind her was also hit and fell to the ground, and both sides were seriously injured.
While teaching children to be atmospheric, they take the lead in taking advantage of themselves. Once a short video of "parents taking babies to grab oranges" made many netizens remember it vividly, and those parents who took their children to desperately grab oranges happily thought that they had taken advantage of it. But they ignore that in this experience, the child learns a "quality", called selfishness.
When a child is young, he regards the words of his parents as a guideline, and every word of his parents is like a holy will to him. But how many parents are using a set of education to do a set of education to their children to do a wrong demonstration, they are not only unaware, but also proud.
Confucius said, "He who is righteous does not let him act; his body is not righteous, although he does not obey." "If parents want to raise an atmospheric child, they must lead by example and clearly tell their children that they can't want things that don't belong to them."
Only when parents are consistent in their words and deeds can children be consistent in appearance.
As Floynder said: The motivation behind an adult's values, temperament, behavior orientation, etc., is related to childhood experience. People's most secret memories are often related to the sense of taste and smell implanted in childhood, especially before the age of six. Therefore, from birth to the age of six, children must form a beautiful world view. He has to look at the good things; smell the good things; listen to the good things; contact the good people in order to be a good person himself.
No one is born to be a parent, but once a parent, you must take the initiative to take on the duty of parenthood, believe that there is always a pair of eyes watching you behind your words and deeds, and the action will unconsciously imitate you. Don't let our bad behavior have a lifelong impact on your child.