Remind women: a good marriage, must talk about money

01.

What should a good marriage look like?

Some people say that it is the lamp that lights for you when you come home from work; some people say that it is the comfort and understanding of whispering softly when you are anxious and confused; others say that it is the stability of not drifting from now on.

Most of us seem to have similar definitions of a good marriage – they are bound because of love, their partners are of good character, hard working, self-motivated, dependent on each other, and they believe that each other is someone who can accompany them for a lifetime, even if they don't love one day, they can get together and disperse.

As a result, when many people talk about marriage, they pay more attention to love, are ashamed to talk about money, and always feel that talking about money hurts feelings. Even after marriage, in the face of money problems, I dare not talk about money generously.

Marriages that do not talk about money have a greater sense of security and a greater half less happiness.

As divorce lawyer Wu Jiezhen said in the book "Good Marriage, Protect Property and Love": Safe marriages are not necessarily happy, but insecure marriages are mostly unhappy.

As a divorce lawyer, Wu Jiezhen witnessed the marriage, which gave him a deeper thinking and understanding of marriage. In the book "Good Marriage, To Protect Property and Love", Wu Jiezhen combines past cases and uses professional knowledge to talk to us about the truth of marriage, marriage security, and marriage law.

The knowledge of "marriage law" is precisely what we lack the most, and Wu Jiezhen reminds us that only by studying the relevant legal rules in marriage can we establish a safe marriage and eliminate anxiety in marriage.

02.

In real life, we often encounter such cases:

Two people come together because of love, when the love is strong, they get married and have children, the wife does not care about her own efforts for the family, even if she resigns to be a full-time wife, she also believes that her husband has the ability to take care of her.

But with the deepening of married life, if the wife is a full-time wife, the husband's career is getting better and better, the wife will have a sense of crisis, afraid that the husband with a successful career will abandon himself, the more afraid of losing, the more he clings to it and does not let go, but he does not expect to push the man farther and farther.

Women always feel that love will not change, and the man who promised to support himself for a lifetime will keep his promise for a lifetime. Just like Luo Zijun in "The First Half of My Life", I can't understand why Chen Junsheng doesn't count when he speaks, why he says that if he doesn't love, he won't love.

In Wu Jiezhen's view, both men and women, in the face of marriage, we must be realistic, if only love and personal qualities are equated with marriage security, it is a castle in the air, after all, the most uncontrollable thing in the world is feelings, and the most unpredictable thing is the human heart.

How many couples love to death and live, but when they divorce, they tear you to death.

Wu Jiezhen has a sentence in the book "Good Marriage, To Protect Property and Love" that I agree with very much:

After all, whoever leaves can live, but being broken legs, being cleansed out of the house, and being in debt, it is very difficult to live.

Good feelings must learn to talk about money, because in "marriage security", "property security" is one of the most important factors.

03.

Many people feel that "talking about money hurts feelings", and when talking about marriage, when it comes to marriage, they are anxious when they mention money.

Wu Jiezhen mentioned a case in the book "Good Marriage, To Protect Property and Love":

The two people have talked about marriage, the girl wants to buy a house, the down payment needs 150,000, and the money in hand is not enough to borrow money from the boy. The boy agreed to borrow money, on the premise that if he got married, he would not have to pay it back, and if he did not get married, he would have to pay it back as usual. After that, the parents transferred 150,000 to the girl, with a note of "borrowing".

Although the girl did not say anything on her lips, she made a muttering in her heart, worried that her boyfriend would occupy her own house because of this 150,000, and worried that she would be sued by her boyfriend's parents to repay the money if she could not get divorced in the future.

However, the girl directly expressed her inner worries because of her bad face, and returned the money to the boy's parents and asked the other party to lend her cash.

The boy's parents also muttered in their hearts, worried that the girl would not take the money and play away.

In the end, the couple, who talk about marriage, parted ways in mutual suspicion.

We always feel that love must be pure, can not tolerate sand, can not be polluted by reality, obviously very concerned about money, but ashamed to talk about money, regard money as a flood beast, as if talking about money feelings become impure.

In fact, when you get married and live a life, the more you dare not talk about money, the easier it is to hurt your feelings because of money.

As in the previous case, if the couple could sit down and be honest with each other, speak their minds, and find a solution to a problem, they would not go to the point of breaking up.

We must understand a truth: money and feelings do not contradict each other, not to say "if you love me, why do you want a house", nor does it mean "since you believe in me and love me, why are you afraid of people and money", we cannot treat the two "black and white".

Why?

Lawyer Wu Jiezhen gave the answer in the book "Good Marriage, To Protect Property and Love":

The word "love" never appears in the entire Marriage Law, but the word "feelings" is used, that is, what the Marriage Law conveys is that marriage is a combination of interests based on certain feelings, such as common life, common property, and common parenting.

Based on this, it is essential to talk about money.

Economist Xue Zhaofeng once said: From the perspective of economics, marriage is a partnership between two people to run a business, a family business, and the contract signed is a futures contract for lifelong wholesale.

In short, marriage has to be material as a foundation.

In a good marriage, we must talk more about money and less about love.

Talking more about money is not the same as calculating, and talking less about love is not the same as not having love.

Wu Jiezhen shares his own marriage in the book "Good Marriage, Guarding Property and Love". He said that his wife would also go to his property protection class to understand his disposition of family property, and the couple would exchange ideas about it, because they had a tacit understanding of each other's cognition and disposal of money, and they had enough security in marriage.

To live a marriage with a "partner" mentality, in addition to sincerity, we must also learn to talk about money, and marriage can go further.

Lawyer Wu Jiezhen's "Good Marriage, To Protect Property and Love" is a popular and accurate book that popularizes marriage law.

He will tell us what are the obstacles in the marriage and how to cross them according to the cases he encounters; he will also use his expertise to teach us how to protect ourselves in marriage and how to face up to real problems.

When we talk about marriage, what are we talking about? How can you feel secure in your marriage? After reading Wu Jiezhen's "Good Marriage, To Protect Property and Love", you will find the answer.

Today's Topic:

Emotionally, are you a person who dares to talk about money?

Flower Shadow World: Focus on interpreting the emotional problems of marriage, and give you comfort and warmth in the hustle and bustle of the world