Endure! Don't meddle! Self-management classes for children

Recently heard a new term, called helicopter parents, what is helicopter parents? It's a description from a kid who said my mom and dad were like a helicopter that hovered over my head forever. No matter what I do, they pay attention to me and help me.

Now many parents in life unconsciously become helicopter parents, children's things parents almost do, children can not reasonably plan their own time and things, there is no ability to think independently.

Remember that Oriental prodigy Wei Yongkang? At the age of 13, he was admitted to a key university, and then at the age of 17, he was admitted to a graduate school at the Chinese Academy of Sciences.

When he was a child, the conditions at home were not good, but his mother saw that he had the talent to learn, so she paid great attention to his study, telling him that he did not have to worry about anything in the family, he studied wholeheartedly, even the small things such as changing clothes, washing clothes, and eating, his mother worked for generations. Originally, the mother's starting point was good, but she didn't expect to hurt Wei Yongkang. After the leaders of the Chinese Academy of Sciences knew that his ability to take care of himself was very poor, they persuaded him to retire, because they did not want nerds, but real talents for all kinds of all-round development.

Now there are more and more such parents, giving all their love to their children, including coddling. Parents accompanying homework is no longer a family problem, and now it has risen to a social problem, because there are countless examples of mother and child with homework, and I have heard of tutoring children to jump into the river before.

If the child learns time management and masters the way to do things, then is it not that the baby has a little more targeted in the matter of writing homework, so that the child learns time management is very important for their life in the future, "Hold on! Don't meddle! Let the child be independent self-management lesson" this set of books is very worth a look.

The author of this book, Shika Takatori, the organizer of the "Language Training Summer Camp" on behalf of the non-profit corporation JAM website, is active in the press as a journalist concerned with consumer issues and child development issues, and traveled to the United States in 1998. He is currently a member of the Kanagawa Prefectural Children's Education Support Committee and is committed to the cultivation and education of children.

1

Let children learn time management first of all to understand time

When the child is 3 or 4 years old, he already knows the number, and when he has a little concept of time, he can teach the child to recognize time. A clock can be placed at home, and when we say what time it is, the child can look at the clock and see the clear number pointing. There are changes in the minute and hour hands, and children feel the time more intuitively.

Usually use the concept of time with children, such as: 7 o'clock, it is time to get up. At 12 o'clock, it's time to eat.

Parents consciously help their children connect "moments" and "actions" and can help children naturally understand the concept of moments in life. Moments are simple numbers, but they allow children to connect "life" and "time".

You can let the child feel the time, for example, you can play the game of "guessing" the time together, see who guesses close, in the process of guessing the time, parents can help the child realize the change of the moment, help the child better understand the time.

2

Go through the list, plan ahead, and avoid wasting time blindly

The older the child gets, the more things there are, and it is no longer possible to play aimlessly like when they were children. Many times you will find that what you were going to do today was not done until before going to bed. To do things efficiently, you need to figure out what you have to do and what you want to do.

Parents can guide their children to make a list of events, make a list of what they want to do and what they must do, and then plan out the time it takes, and do it at that time, so that there will be no time to forget or not know what to do in the middle.

Making lists helps children make effective plans that can be implemented and is a great way to improve the efficiency of their children's lives. Even if the child is in the upper grades, or even grows up, he can still benefit from this method. So be sure to get into the habit of making lists.

I now have the habit of making lists at work, and every morning after going to work, the first thing I do is to sort out what I have to do today, list the things that need to be done, and then complete them one by one.

3

The list is classified according to urgency and importance

Once the list is on, what should we start with? Events can be prioritized in order. Using the ABCD four-quadrant method, the event is divided into four parts. A must do today, both important and urgent. B doesn't have to do it today, but it has to be done. C Don't do it today, it's not a very important thing. D Can do it at any time, less important things.

As we can see from the image below, Part A is the first thing we have to do. With this diagram, you can better plan your time, control your time, and not be in a hurry.

4

Set goals for action and develop the habit of sequential thinking

There is a goal to have motivation, set a goal, and work hard for this goal. Parents can ask questions to make their children clear about the ultimate purpose of their actions. If the child is not clear about the goal he wants to achieve at the beginning of the work, then he is easily lost in the action and naturally cannot achieve the goal.

Have your child set a goal and then visualize the completion steps. Younger children can draw them, and older children can write them in notebooks. With a goal to ask the child, what to do first, develop the habit of sequential thinking, find their own rhythm in practice, and slowly the child will not need parents to remind him to develop a good habit of time management.

5

The most important thing is that parents have to hold back

Children are actually much more powerful than parents think. Teaching children how to manage their time is like teaching young children to ride a bicycle. In the beginning, the child rides a bicycle in front, and the parents have to help the child support the back seat of the bicycle in the back. When the child can move forward on his own, the adult slowly releases his hand. Letting go properly is good for children. Parents should try together with their children, guide their children in the process, and at the same time, they cannot impose their will on their children, and let them think about how to do it on their own.

Listen patiently to your child's ideas and give appropriate advice. When the urgency of the child's list of events is not reasonable, parents can discuss the modification with the child, rather than forcing the child to modify, listen to the child's opinion, and give the child effective advice.

As parents, sometimes we just care too much about our children, so we want to do everything for them, or the child has a look of grievance and help, as a parent, we can't help but help. Just like a child learning to walk, if we don't let go, how can the child bravely step out on his own?

The night I read this book, my son cut paper, the pattern is a small bird, the bird's legs are very thin, my son feels that he can't cut it well, begging me to help cut it, before reading this book, I will always help him, but that day I told him he could try it himself. Begged me a few times I did not help him, he had to cut it himself, did not expect to cut it intact, a small bird did not lack a little perfect cut out.

I was very surprised that he was able to complete the cut, and I also firmly believed in the idea of trying to intervene as little as possible in the future.

The ability to let children have the ability to manage time is much more important than giving children material wealth, and this ability can benefit children for a lifetime, which is the beginning of children shaping a better life.

"Hold on! Don't meddle! "Self-Management Lessons for Children" is really a must-read book for parents. Let children learn to plan their own lives, plan their own lives.

Disclaimer: The content of this article comes from zhihu author: Xiu Tease Xiaoyi

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