Quarantine Notes (45): Give more care to mothers

This is the 489th original article in Meta Smoke

Hello everyone!

Today has been 38 days since the closed management on April 1, after a 5-day undiagnosed safety period, everyone is expecting the community to be downgraded to a control area, suddenly there is a three-tube nucleic acid abnormality, involving three buildings, it seems to be empty and happy.

However, from a social perspective, the number of confirmed and asymptomatic infected people is continuing to decline slightly, and I hope that we can all grit our teeth and jointly make the final sprint.

Talking to you about Mother's Day today, while thanking our mothers together, we also call on our families, and even the whole society, to give mothers more care and support, so that they are not so tired.

Every mother goes through a transition from wifehood to motherhood, and this transition is actually a huge change in their lives.

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First of all, this great change comes from the physiological, and the process of conceiving a child is always accompanied by various physiological changes. With the rapid development of medical technology, the risk factor of conceiving a child is decreasing significantly, and various potential physiological risks can be detected and solved in advance.

It can be said that on the physiological level, every mother can now receive good care until the baby is born smoothly.

Secondly, this great change will also come from the psychology, the process of conceiving children is actually accompanied by the transformation of women's identity, originally they were the little cotton jackets around their parents, the wife of their intimate lovers, and now they have become the mothers who give birth to new lives, and many mothers will be difficult to adapt to at the beginning.

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Any form of identity change often brings a certain degree of uncertainty, which will be reflected not only in the family and life level, but also in the parenting level, but also in the career level.

These uncertainties are the source of anxiety for many new mothers, but from the current social situation, the care for the physical level is still far greater than the psychological level, and the care for the psychological level is equally important.

In addition to the care and support that one's own family can give, if possible, it is very important to consider setting up a corresponding psychological counseling window in medical institutions to help eliminate the confusion and uneasiness of pregnant mothers about the present and the future, and to help them prepare for a new attitude.

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This is the first and most important care for the mother's group.

In today's fast-paced society, women are often stressed and will make more efforts to achieve the ultimate balance between work and life.

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In the workplace, women perform equally well, and even have advantages in some areas, which is a very good trend and a strong impact on some backward ideas.

At the same time, the workplace pressure borne by women has also increased, the frequency of overtime and business trips is no less than that of men, and the requirements for work will not be lower than that of men.

For young women who do not yet have a family burden, such pressures do not affect them, but on the contrary accelerate the pace of their growth and development.

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When women form a family and become mothers after childbirth, such workplace pressure will gradually appear, because they will focus a large part of their energy on family and childcare, so the pressure will rise sharply, and many times they will fall into a dilemma.

In the traditional social vision, we would think that the mother should take greater responsibility for the family, especially for child-rearing, which is not surprisingly limited by the degree of social civilization at that time, but if placed in modern society, this is a backward prejudice.

Under the pressure of parenting and family, many mothers choose to give up their life pursuits, give up their interests and hobbies, choose to be a full-time mother, put family and parenting in the first place, when the children grow up, if they return to the workplace, they will often appear inadequate.

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In my opinion, a life trajectory like this "sacrificing B because of A" is not worth advocating, and our lives cannot be defined as just being born for A or B, especially for every mother who has a vision of life.

Traditional visions are not limited to this, in fact, these visions have long become a kind of social poison, such a poison like a stubborn enemy, in the form of various forms of discrimination or prejudice, such as inequality in the workplace.

I think the meaning of Mother's Day is not only to praise the mother, to thank the mother, but also to arouse everyone to give more tangible care to the mother.

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Eliminating inherent vision and bias is essential.

Once we have formed a family, then everyone's responsibility to the family is equal, and everyone has the responsibility to "run" our family well and make the family a real harbor.

Once we have children, then everyone's responsibility for children is also the same, and everyone should inject more effort into children to cultivate and love children well.

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A family needs the joint efforts of male and female masters, and a child needs the double help of maternal and paternal love, and any link is indispensable.

If our society can reach such a consensus to completely overthrow existing prejudices, I believe that the pressure of the role of mother can be relieved to a certain extent, and it can also be changed from the original one-person burden to a more balanced double burden.

This is the second level of care for the mother, which is not only a spiritual care, but also a manifestation of the progress of social civilization.

For mothers, the most direct care must come from their own families.

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Even if the traditional vision of society is difficult to eliminate, as long as their own family can break these visions and give more support and care to their mothers, it is actually enough.

Around every mother, if there is a warm husband, willing to share more responsibilities for the family, willing to jointly teach and guide the growth of children, while supporting their personal future development vision, this is a kind of care.

Around every mother, if there can be a sensible child, can understand the mother's hardships of raising herself day after day, can be more empathetic, become more mature, this is a kind of care.

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During the COVID-19 pandemic, I carefully observed the group of buildings in which I was located, and found that the most active person in the group was the mother of each family, and the other members were not even in this group.

These mothers have new mothers, there are also children who have reached adulthood, they are gradually entering the elderly mother, they are working hard for the family's livelihood every day, they will rush for the daily rush of vegetables, always pay attention to every move in the group, once they see a good group purchase or a purchase, they will immediately place an order.

What touched me the most was that there was an aunt next door who was suffering from breast cancer, although the current condition was very stable, and its course of the disease was far beyond the 5-year survival period, but it would occasionally recur and she also needed to take Chinese medicine regularly.

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In this epidemic, she is also one of the most active mothers in the group, grabbing vegetables and buying, running for the family's livelihood, even helping to distribute supplies when they arrive, and once helping us take supplies by the way, we are very grateful.

Maybe these mothers have become accustomed to it and may enjoy it, but what I hope is that the husbands and children of these mothers can be more involved in this kind of affairs, pay for the family together, share it together, and reduce their burden.

This is the third level of care for the mother, and it is also the most direct care.