Each of us wants our children, who can maximize their potential, become smarter, be adaptable, and make a difference in the world. The book we're going to share with you today, the parenting rules of just-in-time children, are the blueprint for helping children of all backgrounds become successful adults. Every parent will have a question in the process of raising a child, is there really a general consensus on raising excellent children?
Ronald Ferguson, a professor of economics at Harvard University, was equally puzzled, wondering how the parents had produced Harvard students. So in 2009, he did a project called How I Was Raised. After surveying the parents of 120 Harvard students, he conducted a comprehensive study with veteran author and journalist Tassa Robertson and published the book in 2019. The formula unlocks the secrets of raising high-achieving children, and Professor Ferguson found that while each family's specific circumstances are different, parents' surfaces vary widely, children have different behaviors and interests, and their respective areas of success are different, but these parents guide their children on a successful adventure.
Parents of all successful people play a similar eight parenting roles, which together constitute a basic set of rules of successful parenting and strategic parenting. What is more important about raising adults who are fully self-intelligent and self-confident in their goals is that these parenting laws have nothing to do with race, nationality, and geography, nor economic, educational, or social background, but can be replicated and effective in any kind of family.
That is, although these children were born into families with different circumstances, the same parenting rules shaped their similar life experiences and achievements. The core content strategy of this book is the law of parenting, which refers to the eight different roles that parents need to play in their children's development. And each role is played by one or both parents at a specific time and following the requirements of the laws of parenting, by performing the duties of these roles, helping to stimulate and develop the child's intellectual ability, and the non-intellectual ability role is an early learning partner.
The period from birth to the age of five is a critical period of brain development and an important stage in the child's learning to establish integrity with the outside world, so his early learning partners are crucial. Parents often play this role, spending a lot of time with their children and helping them with brain-shaping activities. In general, parents can help their children's brain development through the following five aspects of daily activities, one gives the most love to control pressure, two talks, sings and refers to people, three technologies group and compare, develop mathematical thinking, four participate in sports and play games, cultivate curiosity, five read and discuss stories, and cultivate children's reasoning ability.
In addition, early learning partners can also be, not just for parents. If there are multiple parents, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., the child will also benefit very much. Role two: Non-aeronautical engineer, aviation engineer is an aviation term, also known as a random engineer. He is a systems expert on aircraft, specializing in solving problems in flight systems and evaluating emergency responses. And calculate the data of take-off and landing, on the one hand of parent-child relationship, parents have to assume this role after their children go to school.
If the child is likened to a flying machine, then parents need to ensure that the people working for the child and the system remain in normal working condition and meet the requirements of maximizing the benefits of growth. Once the child's aircraft has a problem in some aspect, such as poor discipline, homework errors, grades declining, teacher and student problems and so on. Parents intervene and work with others to solve problems. Role Three: Rescuers, like non-aeronautical engineers, are tasked with solving problems, but are more inclined to respond to emergencies. Rescuers often need to solve problems themselves, so as to prevent children from deviating from the normal track.
Rescuers sometimes need to find allies, sometimes even need to make sacrifices, such as giving up valuable possessions, making major life changes, or investing a lot of personal time. Character Four: Inspirer. Learning doesn't just happen in the classroom, so the role of parents as inspirers is also important, exposing children to new ideas and new things, expanding their thinking, and using their imagination. More importantly, the enlightener should help the child understand his own future possibilities, begin to think about what kind of person he wants to be, and set the direction of his efforts to enhance self-deception.
According to the relevant experiments of professors at the University of Southern California for middle school students, the clearer the foresight of young people for the future, the more they can enhance their sense of agency, and thus the more likely they are to achieve their own goals and dreams. Character five, philosopher, in fact, this role exists at a very young age. Parents in the role of philosophers share their worldview with their children, give them a sense of purpose, and help them find meaning and purpose in life.
Parents are to teach their children three basic ideas about the philosophy of life, seeking a deep understanding, avoiding poverty and helping to improve the lives of others. Role Six: Role model, parents through their own personal actions to the children to show what qualities they should pursue, and through influence rather than force these qualities to pass on to the children's role negotiators. Prepare children to become skilled decision makers, independent actors, capable of effective self-promotion, and help children prepare to take care of themselves independently, to become empathetic, empathetic, thereby predicting the next actions of others, and self-interested people as negotiators.
Parents have to give their children a lot of opportunities to make a practice choice decision, parents should explain their boundaries, and then allow their children to bargain within this range, and sometimes they can compromise to find a solution that is satisfactory to both parents and children. But there is a prerequisite, the child must be reasonable. The general principle is to provide children with the right to free choice, discretion and action, but not to relinquish the role of responsibility for providing guidance to children. This refers to the advice and wisdom that parents leave in their children's memories, and they will eventually guide their children towards the goals they have chosen in life.
What these parents have said and done is the ultimate embodiment of what their parents did when they played these eight roles. When adult children face choices and challenges, they flash in their brains in the form of a pick-up, helping them make decisions. Of course, the parenting company should be personalized, every child is different, even if it is a sibling of the same family, parents should treat them as independent individuals, treat them differently, and constantly adjust to find the most suitable parenting style for them. Thank you for spending this wonderful time with me, welcome to follow the like comments to share, see you next time.