A new study by psychologists at UCLA: Most divorces are filed by women first
Psychologist Gillian Parker of the University of California, Los Angeles, and his team found that women are more willing to initiate divorce than men after divorce, and that women are better psychologically adjusted than men, published in the journal Current Opinion in Psychology The main cause of these phenomena is the mismatch between the supply and demand between women's personal aspirations, preferences, career advantages and modern marriage structures in modern society, which leads to marital conflicts and women's dissatisfaction [1]. (Screenshots of the title and abstract are shown below)
Screenshot of the title and abstract
Gillian Parker, a psychology researcher at UCLA and first author of the study, notes in the literature:
"We elucidate the multifaceted mismatch between women in modern society and the structure of marriage, based on the main perspectives and evolutionary perspectives of relationships, which lead to or exacerbate the fragility and stress values of the marital relationship between men and women." We hope that by analyzing these phenomena, we can help provide strategies to alleviate marital dissatisfaction and reduce the loss and pain caused by divorce. ”
In the study, Gillian Parker and researchers on his team identified a number of causes of divorce by summarizing the pattern of women initiating divorce[1]:
Women's professional advantages bring freedom of marriage;
Women's thirst for resources does not match the supply and demand of real marriages;
Women's expectations of a spouse do not match the actual supply and demand;
The care provided by the spouse does not match the expectations of the woman.
Women's unprecedented career advantages provide women with more freedom to marry
Gillian Parker, explaining women's career advantages in modern society, mentions:
"Today, women create an unprecedented career advantage. Women accounted for 57.3 per cent of those who received undergraduate degrees, 60.1 per cent of master's degrees, 53.5 per cent of doctoral degrees and 51.5 per cent of the labour market. When women are able to support themselves without relying on their spouses, women have reproductive rights, control of family plans, and the right to divorce. ”
From the data provided by Gillian Parker, it can be seen that women are higher in receiving higher education and contributing to the labor force than men, which means that women are equal to men in terms of ability and opportunity to obtain economic income, or even surpass men.
Modern marriage structures clash with traditional gender roles
The economic base determines the superstructure. The increase in women's economic status has given women more practical rights in the family, such as reproductive rights, control over family plans, and the right to divorce freely.
Gillian Parker pointed out that it is precisely because of the change in women's economic status that the modern marriage structure has led to conflicts and contradictions with traditional gender roles, and the marriage relationship has become more fragile.
Evolutionary perspective: There is a conflict between women and men in mate preferences
Researchers such as Gillian Parker analyzed differences in mate preferences between women and men from an evolutionary perspective, which led to marital conflict.
Women prefer men with excellent genes
Women pay attention to the characteristics of male masculinity, facial symmetry, attractiveness and social dominance when choosing a mate. These traits are evolutionarily indicative of good genes in men.
For example, physical attractiveness is associated with health and physical strength, which are attributes that improve survival and reproductive success [1].
Men with good genes are more interested in short-term relationships
From an evolutionary point of view, men with good genes are usually more interested in short-term relationships, because having multiple relationships in a short period of time can get more fertility opportunities, so as to pass on the excellent genes.
Therefore, men with excellent genes are not eligible for long-term marriage partners from an evolutionary point of view.
Mismatch between male and female mate preferences leads women to file for divorce
From the above analysis, it can be found that there is a conflict between male and female mate preferences: women like men with excellent genes, but men with excellent genes do not like long-term romantic relationships.
So, in marriage, when men lose commitment and interest in long-term marriages, financially independent women lose the motivation to stay in a relationship with such men. Therefore, it is not surprising that women initiate divorces [1].
Wealth Resource Perspective: Women occupy more resources than men
Gillian Parker, in an analysis of the mismatch between men and women in wealth resources, mentioned:
"Women in marriage crave not only physically fit and attractive partners, but also resourceful partners (i.e. wealthy and successful men). Women's need for wealth and resources, from an evolutionary perspective, comes from the need for women to rely on men who can support them during pregnancy and breastfeeding, which is a fragile period of high energy consumption and low mobility for women. ”
Gillian Parker noted that while women's preferences for wealth and resources have not changed, society has changed dramatically. Fewer and fewer women need to be fed by men, and in fact, more and more wives are earning more than their husbands [1].
When a husband can't outperform his wife in terms of wealth and resources, it's a problem for women who want a husband who is richer and more professionally successful than them. This can lead to married women being dissatisfied with the marital relationship, especially when women earn more than men, and women may lose their love and attachment to men, and thus tend to end the marriage relationship.
Care and interdependence mismatch: Women have to take care of their families and work
Gillian Parker points out that the biggest feature of marital relationships in modern society is that couples are less interdependent than in the past.[1]
Women have to be busy at home and outside the home
Due to the high level of education of women, the proportion of people entering the workplace has increased, and the income has increased, more and more modern women are reluctant to give up their careers in order to take care of their spouses.
In the family, the traditional gender role distribution is that women take care of their husbands and children, and this pressure to take on housework and childcare causes women to be unable to give up the responsibility of taking care of the family after entering the workplace, and they pay more hard than their husbands. It even applies to women who work outside the home or earn more than their romantic partner.
Therefore, in addition to work, women in the workplace also have to do housework and take care of children, which greatly increases the workload of women. These pressures all reduce a woman's subjective well-being, marital relationship satisfaction, and attachment to her partner.
Men are also getting busier in the workplace
What about men in the workplace? Due to gender distribution, men in the workplace where there are both men and women, due to social pressures and competition, more and more masculine jobs, the intensity of work increases, and the time and energy to take care of families are reduced.
Conflict between men and women: Women benefit less from marriage
Because of the pressures and conflicts faced by the above-mentioned men and women, women often feel that they have to do "everything", and men are too busy to take care of themselves because of their work.
Women feel that they can benefit less from marriage (in addition to work and take care of the family), and instead of getting more care from their husbands because of marriage, they are more willing to divorce because they increase the burden of caring for their families.
Dialectical analysis and reflection: how to avoid conflict between men and women and make marriage last longer?
The above analysis is not to show that women entering the workplace is the culprit that leads to the breakdown of marriage, the original intention of the researchers is to analyze the conflict between modern society and the structure of marriage so that people lost in marriage can find a solution to the problem.
So how can we avoid conflict between men and women and make marriages last longer?
Change the traditional view of "male outside, female inside"
As analyzed above, modern society has changed, and there is no reason why people's thinking should not change. The traditional idea of "male outside, female inside" should also be revised. Husbands and wives are a community of destiny and share the responsibilities of the family, and men should also have the responsibility of taking care of the family and raising children.
As Gillian Parker puts it:
"We need to challenge gender norms, especially the views of men as breadwinners and women as domestic caregivers need to be updated; or to advertise that certain jobs or household chores are masculine or feminine. The goal of challenging gender norms is to help men and women better adapt to matters that are not traditionally gendered. Otherwise, neither husband nor wife will be happy to play atypical gender roles and may therefore choose divorce. ”
Working women seek childcare support
At the same time, Gillian Parker also pointed out that it is difficult for professional women to juggle career and childcare, and many divorce incidents also occur during lactation and early childhood. Parenting pressures and marital pressures coexist, and women are very difficult during this period. Therefore, the need for childcare support is even more important, through the nursery, relatives to help, hire a nanny and other methods can alleviate the pressure during this period, help to reduce the pressure on the marriage relationship.
Summary: Whoever files for divorce is actually a helplessness
From the study referenced in this paper, the first point of information we can get is that the proportion of women initiating divorce is increasing; second, the main reason for divorce is the mismatch between supply and demand in modern society and the structure of marriage. This is not a conclusive conclusion, just a phenomenon, through these analyses we can actually do anti-micro-
Whoever files for divorce is actually a helpless one.
Hopefully, the psychological analysis of this article will provide valuable reflections for readers!
bibliography
[1] Parker G, Durante KM, Hill SE, Haselton MG. Why women choose divorce: An evolutionary perspective. Curr Opin Psychol. 2022 Feb;43:300-306. doi: 10.1016/j.copsyc.2021.07.020. Epub 2021 Jul 31. PMID: 34509971.
The exclusive original | of "Psychological Analysis" is prohibited from being reprinted
The copyright of the article belongs to Psychological Analysis
The original author | the main creative team of "Psychological Analysis"
concern
@ Psychology Analysis
Get cutting-edge information and research updates in the field of psychology