Don't know if you've found it?
It is becoming more and more difficult for us to meet the person we like, and at the beginning, we may sit down patiently and chat because of our looks, but there are some jokes on the surface, and eventually we part ways in an inappropriate name.
That kind of inappropriateness is not about the real problems such as height, education, family situation, etc., but the feeling of being together is inappropriate, including the way of getting along and the view of some things, completely on a channel, two people who do not agree with the three views, can not talk at all.
Two people should get along comfortably, first of all, the three views should be consistent.
The three views refer to the outlook on life, the world, and the values, and the so-called three views are consistent, to put it bluntly, that is, each other's views on major issues of principle should be on the same channel.
There is a saying that radish greens have their own love, and everyone has their own different choices and hobbies.
In terms of worldview, outlook on life, and values, everyone also has their own unique understanding.
So how to see the discord between the three views between couples?
In fact, it is very simple, just look at these few things is enough.
Know how to quarrel
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The most distant distance in the world is not that two people do not love each other, but that you think I am unreasonable, and I think you are unreasonable.
Two people who do not agree with the three views are never on the same channel, and the words are not speculative and half a sentence is too much, and you want to quarrel with him.
But people who are not arguing at one point should communicate effectively?
You can't understand the logic of his behavior, and he can't get your appeal and anger points.
I've always thought of arguing as a run-in process.
There is no soul in this world that hits right away.
Two people who love each other want to run into each other, and quarrels become a special mode of communication.
Understand your careful thinking
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There may be no real empathy in this world, and no one may be able to truly read the emotions in your eyes and the hardships in your heart.
But one thing is certain: people who really care about you will definitely take the trouble to understand you and understand you.
He knows you like to eat sweets, and he doesn't hesitate to go around a few streets to buy them;
He understands that you are insecure and never suddenly disappears in a dialog box or hangs up the phone;
He understands that you are careless and will remind you to add clothes on days when the weather is changeable;
He understands that you are afraid of thunder and rain at night, and drive for more than an hour and not by the road to send you home;
Every bit of it that concerns you, he remembers it in his heart.
He understands what you want to say, and the careful thoughts you don't say will also be remembered in your heart, and then give you a full surprise.
Understand your attitude towards spending money
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Everyone has their own upbringing and educational background, especially when it comes to spending money.
Some people will be very economical in the small details of life, thinking that it is only right to use money in big things;
Some people also think that spending money is to improve their quality of life, so they think that the most important thing to spend money is in the details;
Some people will think that eating, drinking and having fun in time is the big deal; some people will think that money is to be saved.
So, it's important to find people who spend money with the same mindset.
When one cannot understand what you are doing, no amount of explanation is futile, and it is best to have the same idea.
What is more important with less is that both sides have tacit understanding.
Spending money is also a tacit understanding, there is no consensus on this, life will not be comfortable.
Give each other freedom
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The most difficult thing to grasp is distance.
If you get too close, you will be burdened; if you are too far together, you will not feel safe.
Two people get along, like hedgehogs in the cold winter, too close will hurt, too far away will be cold.
Everyone is an independent individual, everyone has their own lifestyle and social circle, once excessively encroached upon, invisibly will produce boredom.
The best way to get along between people is to maintain a suitable distance.
So, before you love someone, learn to separate.
After all, excessive clinging will make life suffocate, and what you think of as love and giving may be a kind of shackle in the eyes of the other party.
The best feeling is to learn to be separated in the process of love, independent and intimate, love and freedom.
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I've seen a sentence like this:
The best love is to find a person who is suitable in all aspects, who can see through your true thoughts, understand your desires and stops, and accompany you through the long years.
Who says it's not?
For feelings, it is not only pleasing to each other's appearance, but more importantly, two people can talk.
In relation to love, knowing and understanding you is more than all sweet words.
Maybe some couples eventually parted ways without knowing what the trigger for breaking up was, and only remembered that they were unhappy in the end because there were feelings of resentment, and they had to leave.
In the adolescence of feelings, there is always a relationship that is desperately overdrawn and does not matter, but in the end it is because of reality, which may have nothing to do with business, but your own magnetic field is not right.
Don't forget, the persistence of feelings also requires the persistence of two people, and the persistence of one person is futile.
What we are looking for in our lives is nothing more than a person who can talk, have the same temperament, and have three views, be comfortable together, miss it very much after being separated for a long time, want to make a fuss for a long time, quarrel and immediately regret losing.
But if you don't meet the right person in the process, you will only become more lonely.
There is no right or wrong in the difference in the three views, but life is not easy, so why should we add so much pain and suffering to ourselves.