Author | Inspector (1636 words, about 4 minutes to read)
"Confidence is the first secret to success!" - Emerson
Self-confidence is not an innate temperament, but in the process of growing up, children are formed step by step due to various influences from the outside world.
If the outside world does not give positive stimuli, then self-confidence is difficult to form, and even develop into an inferiority and timid personality that is opposed to it.
● A person without self-confidence, even if he is beautiful in appearance, it is difficult to achieve success in his career.
Therefore, self-confidence is very important for each of us to grow and live, so how is self-confidence formed?
From infancy, children's growth is affected by the surrounding environment, they need the care of their families, they need the guidance of their parents, so the family has the most profound influence on their children's words and deeds.
If the child is always criticized, denied, and contrasted in life, and does not receive positive guidance, then the child's self-confidence is difficult to establish.
This action you often do is quietly destroying the baby's "self-confidence"
★ Discourage your child's motivation
"How can you not do anything well?"
"Teach you how many times why not?"
"You're the dumbest kid I've ever met!"
When a child learns anything from the beginning, he will never come to the meeting, from not doing well to being skilled.
When the child does not do well, if the parent always hits the child, scolds the child, and verbally negates everything the child does, then the child's self-confidence is destroyed little by little.
When the child himself does not know what to do, the heart is already very sad, if it is not done well and is noisy, then the inner emotions will be more negative, may ask themselves whether they are really stupid and stupid, may also be the next time to do the same thing, become creepy, do not dare to start afraid of doing not do well.
Once the child forms such a "timid" and "afraid" psychology, then when doing other things in the future, lack of self-confidence will become the first reaction, such a character, it is difficult to succeed.
★ Compare with other children
"You look at who is who is, obedient and obedient, and then you look at you!"
"Whoever took the top five this time, I'm thankful that you have half the best family!"
"When will you be like whoever doesn't have to worry about me?"
These few words, is it familiar?
Have you been compared like this since you were a child?
Or do you often compare your child to other children?
When parents always exalt other children to belittle their own children, in fact, their own children have already lost, because they do not have a good guidance parent, their parents do not give them confidence, do not see their efforts and strengths. And children who have grown up in a "comparative" environment for a long time do not get praise and praise, so where do they come from? Where does the sense of accomplishment come from?
Many parents will think that comparing their children with other children can make their children see the strengths of other children and reflect on their shortcomings, which is to motivate their children to progress. However, parents often overlook one point.
Children also have self-esteem, need face, when they are often compared by their parents, then the child's self-esteem will be hit, "I am nothing better than others, even parents do not like me do not support me!" ”
So where does such a child's confidence come from? How can you have the confidence to surpass others?
● The "radical method" can be used, but it should also be moderate.
To see if their children are suitable, some children are more frustrated and courageous, and some children are more and more motivated, so they still have to take corresponding measures in combination with their children's situation.
Compliments are something everyone needs, especially for kids starting from 0.
When the child has improved, the parents praise the child in a loving tone, telling them "I am so happy to have such a child!" "Let the child have a sense of accomplishment, get the affirmation of the parents, then they are naturally more confident to do better."
★ Forceful oppression of children
When many parents educate their children, they habitually pose as "I am a parent, everything must listen to me" posture.
Children have to listen to their parents to do anything, they don't have their own choices, they can't say what they think, they can't do what they like to do...
● So long-term repressed children, can not be their own children, self-confidence is difficult to build.
Parents should communicate reasonably with their children, understand their children, and listen to their children's ideas;
Let the child have his own opinion, have his own choice, have his own way of doing things, then such a child will become more and more confident.
Spicy Mom Quotes:
As parents, we must have a pair of eyes that are good at discovery and see the advantages and strengths of our children.
When the child has progress, do not skimp on your own praise;
When children do something wrong, patiently guide them and give them the opportunity to correct;
When children are poor in learning, they should see their children's other strengths and encourage them to find their own interests.
Let the child know that the parents love them, see their efforts, have their own value of existence, have their own way of life, and strive to be the best they can.
Children with self-confidence are also more motivated to sneak in and do things more diligently, and the future will naturally get better and better.
Parents, have you ever had any of these behaviors?
(Image from the Internet)