I believe that some parents may have heard the saying that "good children are forced out", and some parents have taken this sentence as a parenting creed. This sentence has a certain truth, the child is small, do not understand what the future is, do not understand how important their future is, do not know how they should master their future, so they will slack, if the father does not force the child, may regret for life.
However, if you want your child to be willing to learn from the bottom of your heart, can parents really force your child for a lifetime? The answer, of course, is no, external factors can not help children for a lifetime, only the inner things are lasting. Therefore, if parents want to keep their children motivated, they should cultivate their children's sense of self-worth, that is, let the children focus on themselves and learn and live for themselves.
Children should have their own lives, parents should not interfere excessively, proper guidance is good
First, children need to have their own lives, and educate children to learn to "separate topics"
In psychology, there is a person who once said that in order to deal with interpersonal relationships, especially the intimate relationship with couples, parents, and children, it is necessary to learn to "separate topics", and the separation of topics is to learn to distinguish whether a thing is your own subject or someone else's topic, your own topic is in your own hands, and other people's topics do not need to worry about yourself.
Parents as the child's parents, as the most concerned about the child, it is inevitable to care about the child, worry about the child, but the parents should also understand that the child's understanding is "the child's own subject", popularly speaking, for the child's life responsible, is the child himself, only understand the principle of the separation of the subject, in the education of the child, the parents can have a measure.
Second, parents cannot accompany their children for a lifetime, and their own path needs to be walked by themselves
When the child is small, parents see that the child does not learn, can appropriately supervise the child, the child slowly grows up, can also reluctantly restrain the child, but when the child "wings are hard", can fly away, fly to the place where the parents can not see, the parents can still force the child to be excellent?
There are many children, when they were young, they studied very well, but as soon as they arrived in high school and college, they fell, the reason is that their parents have too many constraints on them, so that they are used to being managed, and once they leave the control of their parents, they are easy to slacken off. This also shows from one side that the external supervision of parents is only temporary and cannot last a lifetime.
The cultivation of self-worth can make children more conscious and more effective than "forcing" children
A sense of self-worth can make children know the purpose of learning
The popular "sense of self-worth" is that the child has a strong sense of self, the child knows the "separation of subjects", knows which topics are their own and which topics are others. For example, in the aspect of learning, children with a sense of self-worth understand that learning is not because of the expectations of parents and mothers, not because of the discipline of teachers, not to surpass classmates, but for themselves.
Children who can really do this not only have a clear self-positioning, but also are more likely to have their own goals, because such children are willing to learn for their future, and they can also have continuous motivation to learn. It's really valuable for a child to be able to do that.
A sense of self-worth can make children recognize themselves
Whether it is a child or a parent, they should learn to "live soberly.". That is, to live for yourself. For parents and mothers, the child's life is the child's own after all, if the parents care too much about whether the child is obedient, it will not only put pressure on the child, but also bring a lot of trouble to themselves.
For children, if children have a sense of self-worth and can live soberly, it is difficult to change their lives because of the language and behavior of others. Only children who have a clear understanding of themselves can be more determined.
A sense of self-worth can make children understand the strain
Having a sense of self-worth also has a very deep meaning, that is, "fate is in your own hands". Mom and Dad force their children to be excellent, in fact, they are depriving children of the opportunity to choose themselves. Cultivating a child's sense of self-worth is to let the child learn "my life is up to me".
They understand that fate is their own child, and they will not indulge in the frustrations and sorrows of the past, because they understand that what happened in the past will not actually cause harm to them, and what hurts the child is the child's way of explaining these things. Such children will be more willing to change and have more courage to change than other children.
Education should not be forced, nor should it be excessively interfered with, but should guide children's sense of self-worth
Don't interfere too much with your child, independence is more critical
There was once a psychologist who told a small case, let me remember now: children will not tie shoelaces, some parents will patiently teach children, and some anxious parents, will directly help the child tie, in the second case, the child not only did not learn anything, but also may be complained by parents.
Although this case is inconspicuous and very lifelike, it is very representative, because this is a reflection of many parents - interfering in the lives of their children. Moms and dads can pull their children when they are confused, and they can teach them when they don't know what to do, but they can't directly help their children handle things well.
Don't take the initiative to help your child, do your own thing
Mom and Dad may wonder, if the child is not willing to learn, will he not do anything? In fact, no, parents should play a role in supervising, should spur the child, but should not "cross the child" to help the child.
For example, if the child does not want to go out for psychological reasons, parents should not force the child out of the door, but should show their attitude to the child: parents are behind you, if you have any questions, requests, parents will do their best to help you, but parents will not make decisions for you. This will not put pressure on the child, but will also make the child feel warm.
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