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If parents can not stand in the child's point of view to understand the child, it is easy to lose control of emotions, especially when supervising the child's learning, the child is always making the same mistake, the parent's reminder has no effect on the child, which is easy to provoke the anger of the parents.
I went to my sister's house before, and I saw my sister, who had always been gentle, and she actually yelled at her little niece to the point that she couldn't do the simplest arithmetic problems.
"Is your head dead?" It's not that simple! ”
"Are you deaf and can't hear you after saying it several times?"
……
In the roar of the parents, the child was completely out of proportion, and the topics that would have been discussed were completely gone.
I saw that my little niece didn't know how to write anymore.
The more parents yell at their children, the more stupid they are, in addition to fear and these reasons
Why is it that the more parents yell at their children, the more stupid the children will not only not open their minds, but will become more and more stupid?
Does simply because of fear cause a series of reactions? In fact, it is not so simple.
A team of researchers at Harvard University studied young people who experienced parental violence, and the results showed that these young people who experienced parental violence had fewer connections between the Wernick area and the prefrontal lobe in the brain, and their language comprehension ability was reduced.
The situation is even less optimistic for those children who have the same experience, and the size of the hippocampus and corpus callosum in the brain of these children is reduced, the child's memory will be significantly affected, and the development of the left and right brains will also be affected.
The Wernicke region is the visual language center, the auditory center, and the prefrontal cortex function mainly includes cognition, language, emotional management, etc., the connection between the two is reduced, the result is that the person's cognition is reduced, the language expression ability is reduced, and the emotional intelligence is reduced.
The brain hippocampus is mainly responsible for short-term memory storage conversion and orientation and other functions, the corpus callosum mainly plays a connecting role, when the hippocampus and callosum volume weakens, the child's brain is greatly affected and can not work properly.
When parents yell at their children, it is the process of parents venting their emotions, at the same time, the child's brain has undergone a series of changes, and all changes are negative, all change in a more stupid direction.
So parents must remember that when we want to lose our children's temper, resist and control our emotions, because the tantrum does not play any role, but makes the child more and more stupid.
Parents are prone to yelling, and children's personalities will not be gentle
As the saying goes: dragons give birth to dragons and phoenixes, and rat children will punch holes.
Genetic factors are on the one hand, and another important reason is that the influence of parents is more serious. In the process of children's growth, the formation of behavior for a long time depends on "imitation", and parents become the primary target of children's imitation.
It is difficult to notice that outsiders can often see whether it is a family at a glance, because the more the child grows up, the behavior, including the tone of speech and the characteristics of behavior, are the same as those of parents.
If parents do not pay attention to communication every day, they yell at every turn, their emotions are easy to lose control, and their children's temper is not much better.
When the child is young, he can only endure, has no ability to resist, and when the child becomes an adult, he will use the same attitude towards his own children, especially to his parents.
This is also why it is said that the child is a mirror of the parents, if the child's behavior has been a problem, the first parents have to adjust is their attitude towards the child, the way they communicate with their families, first correct their own behavior, and then correct the child's behavior.
If the children have become adults, the parents realize that there is something wrong with the children's behavior, in fact, it is too late, because the children have grown up, the thinking consciousness has been formed, and it is difficult to make changes.
Adjusting the mindset and communicating gently is good for the child
When we can think differently and look at the problem from the child's point of view, we can control our personal emotions.
I have a cousin who was very stupid when she was in school, the kind of student who can give you a 2 in math, who is often scolded by her mother, and now she in turn uses the set that her mother treated her to her son who is in elementary school.
When I heard her complain about her son, the most important thing I wanted to say in my heart was: Who is stupid as you? You've forgotten your own passage now.
In fact, when we adjust our mentality and look at the problem from the perspective of the child, we are not so angry.
The mother teaches the child to read English, says several times in a row, the child is not reading correctly, when teaching the child to do arithmetic, repeat several times, or miscalculated.
At this time, we should not think about how stupid the child is, but should pay attention to the child's attention, whether they don't want to learn now, whether it is because they feel tired, so this situation occurs.
If it's because you're tired, stop and let your child rest and play, and continue playing later.
There are no really stupid children at home, only children who are not focused enough.
In addition, we can't judge the child's way of thinking by our way of thinking, we have to adjust our thinking, accept the child's naivety, ignorance, and then repeatedly guide, the child will always have a time to learn.
If you can't absorb 10 knowledge points at once, then reduce 2, or reduce more, our purpose is not to let the child learn how much, but to let the child learn.
Children have time, not afraid of repetition, as long as parents have enough patience, children learn the existing knowledge points, it is only a matter of time.
Be a little more patient with your child, think more empathetically, allow your child to make mistakes, and give your child a little more time in order to raise an excellent child.