We have to admit the fact that the main force responsible for raising children is still the "old mothers".
The longest time spent with children is the mother. The result of this long-term day and night together is that most children have an instinctive dependence on their mothers from an early age, and the mother's own personality, words and deeds, patterns and visions will have a subtle impact on the children.
Mothers are the foundation of children's growth process. Whether the child is excellent or not has the greatest relationship with the mother's comprehensive literacy! Obviously, if the mother's own comprehensive literacy is very high, then the child will naturally develop in a good direction.
But no one is perfect, even the best mothers will have shortcomings, what we have to do is to try to avoid the child from being affected by the mother's bad, learn more about the advantages of the mother.
I've seen too many moms who become hysterical because they do their homework with their kids. If you want to change your child, start by changing your mother. The easiest way is to return to the original role of mother and become an excellent mother in the eyes of her children, rather than an irrational mother who is wrapped up in test-taking education.
How to become an excellent mother who can make her child more outstanding, the following eight points provide us with a clear and effective educational idea:
1. I hope that my child will become a person like that, and I will try to become that kind of person.
Mothers are role models for children, we cannot and do not need to be perfect mothers, but we must show our children a positive look, or we strive to become the kind of people who expect our children to become, which is a silent edification and education for children.
For example, if we want our children to become a person who loves learning, we must also strive to show our children an attitude and state of loving learning. This process of effort by the mother can be seen by the child, and there is no need to see the final result.
2. Be on the same channel as your child's feelings.
Simply put, it is that the mother and the child feel empathy and empathy. For example, when a child gets praise from a teacher, or writes a beautiful homework with neat handwriting, or gets a small award, and so on. Perhaps these praises and awards are not lacking in "gold content", but this is not important, we can not show a dismissive and inappropriate look, but to empathize with excited children, share their happiness.
Educational practice proves that if the feelings of mothers and children are on a channel for a long time, this can not only gain the trust of children, but also make children more positive, which is one of the forces for children's growth.
3. Be an "ignorant" mom in front of your child
Many mothers have a misunderstanding in this regard, mistakenly believing that they can know everything and do everything in front of their children, which is what an excellent mother looks like.
In fact, a truly excellent mother does not need to be omniscient and omnipotent in front of the child, which will only deepen the child's deep dependence on the mother. Being an "ignorant" mother will not only not weaken the prestige of the mother, but will make the child have the awareness of actively participating in learning and doing things, learn to be independent, and reduce the tendency to rely too much on the mother.
For example, if the child asks the mother a question, although the mother knows the answer to the question, she deliberately pretends not to know, and wants to consult the information and observe with the child, and the child actively seeks the answer under the guidance of the mother. It can be seen that mothers who pretend to be "ignorant" will not teach selfless children. On the contrary, it will enhance children's independent learning ability and stimulate children's spirit of exploration.
4. Control your negative emotions and don't easily erupt in front of your child.
One of the bottom lines of a good mother is to be able to control her negative emotions and not easily erupt in front of her children.
For example, when encountering problems such as children not doing homework, unsatisfactory test scores, and being criticized by teachers, as a mother, the mood is undoubtedly angry and unpleasant, but this anger and unhappiness can only find another way to digest, and can not erupt in front of the child, and the result of the outbreak is often counterproductive.
An excellent mother is very good at controlling her emotions, and can give her child more encouragement from the heart and rebuild her child's self-confidence, so as to truly promote her child's progress.
5. Show weakness appropriately in front of your child
The child will be overwhelmed in front of the mother who has always been strong, and can only live as a cowardly and incompetent. There is no doubt that a strong mother cannot "escort" her child, let alone help her child create a pair of powerful wings to soar.
And a mother who appropriately shows weakness in front of her child can reduce a lot of psychological pressure on her child, and her child will have more confidence and confidence in her heart.
For example, if the child lacks the courage to show his talents on stage, we can tell the child: "The mother is not as good as you when you are as old as you, don't worry, you will do better than the mother..." At this time, the child is likely to go light and play better.
6. Whether the child succeeds or fails, the mother is always supportive as always.
This is the basic principle of a good mother's treatment of her child, that is, whether the child succeeds or fails, as a mother, she must always support the child as always, especially when the child fails, the mother should show a strong and never give up posture.
7. Establish an equal and mutually supportive relationship with your child
The relationship between mother and child should be equal and mutually helpful, and this equal mutual assistance is mainly reflected in the fact that adults respect the child's personality and do not casually order the child. In this way, it can help children develop a healthy mindset and personality.
8. Control how often you speak and don't nag in front of your children
Many mothers seem to have a common disease, that is, in front of the child like to nag, no matter how good the truth, if you say too much, the child will not like to listen, over time, it is easy to trigger the child's rebellious psychology. Therefore, mothers should learn to control the frequency of their own speech, do not nag in front of their children,
epilogue
Although objectively speaking, the mother is currently the de facto "main force" to undertake the child's education, but the education of children should never be just the mother's business, as a "teammate", the father also has the same educational responsibility, only the father and mother form an educational synergy, in order to make the child grow better! Get better!