Every bit of our heart for our child will be reflected in his growth.
If you want to raise a good boy, your parents must first do these things.
Author | Oops Mom
Recently, I went to a friend's house and had to praise her for teaching her son very well.
The little boy is 10 years old this year, smart and clean, and his personality is also cheerful and outgoing.
When I saw the guests coming from home, I immediately came over to say hello, and also took the initiative to help my mother, constantly asking what needed help.
A few children who came to visit also liked to stick to him, and they went over to see what fun he had in his room.
Seeing such a popular "child king" in front of him, who knows how to deal with everyone, he can't help but ask his friends how they usually teach.
When communicating, I found that my friends were really "godsons and fathers".
It turns out that the secret of cultivating a "little gentleman" is hidden in these 7 small things, and it is recommended that parents with boys have a good look:
Boys are allowed to "cry"
Teach boys to release emotions properly
There is a scene in Super Parenting:
The boy was concentrating on playing with the police car in his hand, when his sister came over and snatched his toy directly.
The sudden move quickly detonated a strong emotion, and he was so angry that he rolled all over the ground and cried endlessly.
But the adults around him advised him: "Enough, don't cry." ”
The seemingly gentle persuasion did not make Qiang Qiang quiet, but made him more collapsed.
Too many boys' families have experienced something similar.
When they see their children crying, their first reaction is:
"Don't cry, hold me back!"
"You're a boy, be strong, and don't cry is a good boy."
"Don't cry, Mom gives you something else."
Stopping the child from crying seems to be teaching him to be strong, but in fact, it ignores his real emotional needs and blocks his outlet for catharsis.
In the long run, not only will it not make the boy better, but it may make him worse.
So, allowing a boy to cry is to let him learn the right expression of emotions.
Only in this way will the negative emotions that have the opportunity to be cathartic will not accumulate and affect others in a more out-of-control way.
And a boy who is emotionally accepted often knows how to understand and be considerate of others.
Teach boys a sense of proportion
Respect others in words and deeds
What kind of boy is the most obnoxious and unpopular?
The answer is obvious: bear children.
A seven- or eight-year-old boy in the neighbor's house is impatient, and he is also very aggressive in speech, and what is even more excessive is that there is no one in sight.
Every time they take the elevator together, he is restless, drilling around, pressing the elevator randomly, and likes to touch other people's mobile phones.
When he was rejected, he was immediately unhappy, swearing and grinning, all kinds of foul language.
The neighbor reported to his mother that he wanted her to take care of her son, which would not affect him well.
But his mother did not think so, thinking that her son was still young, and adults should not worry about children.
As a result, no one in the whole building wanted to play with the boy, and even the classmates rushed to hide when they saw him.
Sometimes I saw him alone downstairs in the community, talking full of anger, and I was really worried that he would be like this in the future.
Indeed, boys have simple minds, move fast, don't look at the occasion, and do whatever they want.
The more this happens, the more his parents have to remind him:
"If you do this, xx will feel uncomfortable/uncomfortable/offended."
Don't indulge or ignore the inappropriateness of his words and deeds with the idea that "the child is still young".
There are some things that you don't say, and no one ever tells him.
A boy with a sense of proportion and respect can gain the favor of others.
Let the boys do the housework
Cultivate his sense of responsibility for caring for his family
Some time ago, a video of a "boy wearing an apron to help his parents do housework" quickly became popular.
In the local area, no matter how old or young the boy is, the parents are not used to spoiling, and everything in the family will let the boy do it.
The comments section is full of likes and compliments:
"Well-behaved and sensible!"
"Good men start with dolls."
"Warm masculinity, it must be very reassuring to be with him."
Most boy families do not often ask their sons to do housework, after all, in the traditional understanding, it is a woman's business, and they can do it or not.
But high-level parents pay more attention to cultivating boys' sense of responsibility and equality.
Let the child cook and experience cooking, he knows that it is not easy for parents to pay;
Let him throw away the garbage, fold clothes, set the dishes, and do what he can, and he will slowly feel that he has the ability to be alone.
The boy's sense of responsibility must be learned from daily exercise.
To encourage him to take the initiative to do housework is to tell him that housework is never divided by gender.
As a member of the family, no matter who it is, it is the responsibility to work together to maintain the family better.
In this way, when you grow up, you know how to be responsible for yourself, think about others, and live a real gentlemanly temperament.
Guide boys to pay attention to manners
Establish a good self-image
In the movie "Coach Carter", Coach Carter has a rule for the players:
Wear a suit and tie on the day of the game.
The regulations have attracted the dissatisfaction of countless parents and team members.
They really can't understand, just playing a ball, why pay so much attention to grooming?
The daily life of boys, who does not want to wear what they want to wear, how to dress up, where there are so many exquisite.
Coach Carter insisted that only by looking decent and generous and treating himself as an adult could he win the respect of others.
It is also a reminder to boys' families.
No parent would like to have their child in the company of a scruffy, untrimmed child.
Although it is said that people cannot look at their appearance, children do not pay attention to hygiene, and whether they have good grooming habits reflect personal qualities and upbringing.
Three points of looks, seven points of dress.
To guide the boy to pay attention to appearance is to teach him a sense of order.
Set some simple rules for children at home, such as washing hands frequently, bathing, trimming nails and hair, changing dirty clothes in time, and tidying up the room;
When you go out, tell your child to keep your posture straight and make sure your clothes are clean and tidy.
A courteous, personable and cultured gentleman, everyone likes.
Exercise the boy's mouth to be "sweet" a little
Guide him to be kind to others
Professor Li Meijin has said in many lectures:
"Small-mouthed, smart and clever children, may learn averagely, but they are very good at making friends, more popular, have people to help him everywhere, and grow up to be the material of the leader." 」
I remembered the sharing of a netizen who knew:
Once I went to a friend's house, as soon as I entered the door, the other party's son took the initiative to run out to say hello, and kept saying, "Welcome aunt to my house to play." ”
When eating, the little boy's chopsticks did not move, and he urged her to eat, saying, "Auntie eat more, this is my mother's careful preparation." ”
After a meal, netizens really admired the little boy's ability to speak.
The heart was coaxed warm, and the little boy's mouth was like honey, very likable.
Harvard President Charles William Elliott said:
"In the lifelong education of a lady or gentleman, I think that only one intellectual development is necessary, and that is the precise and elegant use of language to communicate."
Talking children, the moment they open their mouths, they win.
As a parent, don't lose sight of the power of words.
Always teach boys to have a "sweet" mouth, often hang "please" and "thank you" on their lips, and talk well.
Not only does it nurture his courtesy and upbringing, but more importantly, it helps him build good social relationships and achieve his lifelong happiness.
Be ruthless and let the boy experience frustration
Build a strong inverse quotient
Have you ever encountered such a scene?
When a child is frustrated or doesn't get what he wants, he loses control of his emotions.
Either they are anxious with their parents, quarreling, or they are too immersed in negative emotions, and no one can dissuade them.
The show "The Strongest Brain" staged such a scene.
Li Yunlong, a 12-year-old genius teenager, mistakenly thought he had lost the game, and he was unable to control his emotions for a while, and he collapsed and cried in front of the camera.
Even if Dad went to his side to comfort him, it would not help.
It wasn't until he learned that he hadn't lost that he changed his haze and broke his nose into laughter.
On the other hand, his competitor Andrei, also 12 years old, wins or loses, without any uncontrolled emotional expression.
From beginning to end, he was particularly peaceful, and did not forget to silently comfort Li Yunlong.
It is not difficult to see from the evaluation of them by the people around them that the boy who can not carry things can make a judgment from a high level.
Children who encounter a little setback and a small failure will have an emotional outburst, cannot afford to lose, and have poor ability to resist setbacks.
Even if he is talented and capable, others dare not easily approach him or trust him.
On the contrary, a child who can quickly adjust and repair in the face of blows is calm, calm, and more popular with those around him.
Exercise with boys
Shape his confidence and optimism
A couple in Luoyang, Henan Province, since their son's online classes at home, had the idea of running with their son.
For more than a year, the family of three exercised together rain or shine.
The first 2 km, the longest 10 km.
He even dragged tires and resistance umbrellas to carry weights.
Originally, he only wanted to pull his son to strengthen his body, but he did not expect that he had gained a lot in this sport.
Excellent physical fitness, endurance not to accept defeat, and more importantly, full of self-confidence and motivation to learn.
Scientific studies have shown that sports-loving boys are healthier, more confident and more energetic.
Compared with children who do not like sports, their brain volume is about 30% larger, they are more self-controlled, and they have a clear sense of rules.
When he is active on the sports field and sweats, he can not only release negative energy, but also learn how to integrate into the group, communicate and cooperate in the interaction with others.
The companionship and drive of parents is a demonstration.
Let him learn to maintain his enthusiasm for life in a more mature way, and master the skills of receiving things and treating people.
Therefore, since the boy has endless energy, he may wish to accompany him to play a dozen balls, run a run, swim a swim.
Boys are active by nature, can take sports seriously under the guidance of their parents, and face life in a healthy way, so that boys who grow up can also infect others when they grow up, and constantly transmit positive energy.
Raising boys tests the wisdom of parents.
To make him recognized and popular, in the final analysis, is to keep a warm heart and a happy nature.
Therefore, in addition to giving the boy abundant material conditions, parents should continue to shape his qualities and guide him to get along well with the world.
"Like it", I hope that every parent can raise a proud man.