Growing up a child, happy a family,
Influencing a society.
Although it is said that the education of children needs to pay attention to ways and methods, there are also many parents who are worried, children can not be scolded when they do wrong things, they do not listen to reason, and they do not know how to manage their children well.
Xiao Li's son is 5 years old this year, it is the most naughty time, recently the teacher reflected that the child always quarrels with classmates in the kindergarten, hoping that parents will cooperate with the teacher to let the child unite with the classmates.
For this reason, Xiao Li did not spare any effort, she felt that this kind of thing could not be scolded, so she has been reasoning with the child.
At first, the child just listened quietly, and the second time Xiao Li reasoned, the child learned not to say anything, no matter what the mother said.
By the third time, the child was already very impatient, and before Xiao Li could finish speaking, his son told her that she was hungry and wanted to eat chicken wings. Xiao Li didn't know what to say.
What made Xiao Li most sad was the fourth time, she only said a few words, and her son shouted: "Always talk about this set, are you bothered?" "
Xiao Li did not understand that he did not scold the child, but only let the child understand what he should do through reasoning, but why did not have any effect, the child also became so grumpy?
In fact, many parents now like to be reasonable, children make mistakes to be reasonable, children do not obey and reason, but blindly reasoning does not seem to play any role.
Why doesn't preaching work?
The child does not understand. Three- and five-year-old children do not understand too many big truths, and sometimes they can't understand what their parents say, and they may agree perfunctorily at the beginning, but in fact they can't understand it at all, so no matter how much their parents say, they can't have any effect.
Overrun effect. Maybe the parents' truth says that once or twice the child can still listen, but talking too much will form an over-limit effect, and the more he says, the more anxious the child will be, so he feels impatient and even disgusted.
If the parents continue to talk at this time, then the child's rebellious heart may be against the parents.
Reverse psychological reinforcement. Sometimes the more people ask themselves what to do, they will be more like this, for example, when they are nervous, they want to be not nervous, but they will become more nervous.
This is reverse psychological reinforcement, parents always preach to their children, children may understand, but reverse psychological reinforcement has appeared, so that children from psychology and emotions have begun to develop in reverse.
Children have low self-esteem. If parents often reason with their children, they may make children feel that they can't do anything well in the eyes of their parents, and none of them do it right, which will make children become inferior and lose self-confidence.
Therefore, parents should not always preach to their children, the above 4 reasons are very realistic, parents should understand the "side door effect".
The side door effect is to use the method that the child can understand and understand to explain to the child, so that the child is more receptive.
There are three ways parents can try:
Learn while playing. Children can't understand the big truths, so parents must explain these truths in a way that the children can understand. For example, play their favorite game with your child and add the truth to the game or story, so that the child can easily understand.
Learn to be humorous and persuasive. Sometimes the child does something wrong, and the parents immediately lose their temper and teach a lesson, which is very harmful to the child, and it is better to learn humorous persuasion.
For example, if a child breaks a dish, it is not so much like saying, "How are you so stupid?" The dishes are broken! It is better to say that "the bowl and chopsticks must be very painful when it is broken!" "
Let the child bear the consequences. Some children may not be very impressed by what they say, so it is better to let the children bear the consequences themselves. On the basis of ensuring the safety of the child, let them feel the seriousness of the consequences can make a very deep impression on the child, and they will not make such mistakes again in the future.
The effect of educating children with only preaching may not be very good, and parents must educate according to the child's actual situation, combining the truth with the things around the child, and the effect will be better.
▍ Article source: Network