Wen | Lily's mother
Don't overestimate your child's ability to handle emotions, and don't underestimate your ability to control emotions.
Many times, there is a reason why the child commits some abnormal destructive behavior, and it is not the child who is deliberately losing his temper or disobeying.
Sometimes we have difficulties and need our help.
Sometimes it is wronged and needs our understanding.
Sometimes to get our attention, we may be too busy and care too little about our children.
When a child has negative emotions, but does not have the ability to deal with emotions, or can not find the right way to resolve emotions, it will become a "bad child" in the eyes of parents and mothers.
In fact, at this time, it is the time when the child is most helpless and needs the most care and understanding of the parents, if we can perceive this, the child will trust us more, and the inner self can be better developed.
Today I would like to share a small story of what happened to my son when he was a child, hoping to bring you some inspiration.
That day, after school, my son slammed the door hard, muttered and indignantly, very abnormally slammed the key on the shoe cabinet, threw his bag on the floor, took off his coat and threw it on the ground, and ran to turn on the computer.
I don't allow him to look at the computer every day, according to the custom, he should open his school bag to write homework at this time, how dare he challenge the "authority", be rude, and do his own thing!
I was making dinner, thinking about my own hardships, looking at my son's appearance, I was so angry that I almost burst into anger and scolded!
However, I resisted, my fingernails in the palm of my hand, suppressing the raging fire that was about to burn, trying to restrain my emotions, "It is useless to be angry, we can't lose both!" ”
After calming down, think about it, maybe he has encountered something, do not know how to resolve, and will not express it well, holding in his heart sulking!
"Baby, Mom knows you're uncomfortable..." I walked behind him and gently put my hand on his shoulder.
Before I could finish speaking, my son shed tears of grievance and slowly poured out his thoughts.
A war that was about to be ignited was extinguished, and everything returned to order.
It is really unimaginable that if I am angry with him, what will be the consequences, not only can not solve the problem, but also let each other into an unmanageable situation, both affect the parent-child relationship, but also can not complete the daily tasks to be completed.
Lily's Mother's Message:
If we can control our emotions and have more tolerance and understanding for our children, we will most likely solve seemingly difficult problems, and at the same time, let our children learn the correct way to deal with bad emotions, and achieve self-awareness through seemingly wrong mistakes.
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