The topic we're talking about today I think will be used by every Chinese family, because in traditional Chinese families, father education is almost always missing.
And it's very frightening that many of our fathers still see this lack of error as normal, thinking that the things that educate their children are what mothers should do.
As men should return more to society and create more family wealth.
As everyone knows, behind this idea has caused many family education tragedies.
Therefore, today, Teacher Zhang Jian wants to tell parents and friends how much the lack of father education will have a significant impact on their children, and hopes that through this article, fathers can arouse their attention to family education.
There is an ancient Chinese proverb: "The Son does not teach, the Father is at fault." ”
Recently, the Guangdong Women's Federation and the Tutoring Research Association conducted a survey of 105 families in Guangzhou and found that the father was seriously absent in tutoring!
Many fathers in families do not play their due role in homeschooling, but put the responsibility of educating their children on the mother, believing that it is natural for the mother to educate the child.
The survey shows that on the issue of "time to talk and communicate with children every day", 29% of mothers "have no time and cannot talk", while fathers are as high as 56%, which is extremely detrimental to cultivating children's complete personality, especially sense of responsibility and independent awareness.
In most families, fathers are keen to play an authoritative role, making education wishful thinking.
As children grow, such authority is challenged. We believe that fathers should first share their emotions with their children and cannot always act as mentors. In addition, the education of children must have a good intimate relationship as a basis, and the influence of relationship is greater than the content of education.
How to build a father-son relationship? What should I pay attention to as a father?
I think the following points are worth noting:
First, the most important time is between the birth of the child and the age of one.
This period of time is very important for children to build a familiar face for you, miss this period, you are easy to be rejected by children again, so the best thing to do during this period is to accompany your children more, and interact with him more at the same time, so that he can see that you have a sense of security.
Second, the best time is after the child is two years old.
At this time, it is recommended that the mother and child begin to learn to separate, so that the father can enter the circle of mother-child relationship like a "nasty" third party. The smoothness of the relationship between the father and the child during this period depends on the separation of the mother and the child. In the West, allowing two-year-olds to have a separate bedroom is a consensus that promotes the psychological dimension of children. Chinese children can sleep very well with their mothers. It is not an exaggeration to say that many children's psychological problems arise as a result of this.
Third, the important period is when the child is 6 years old.
At this time, the father should actively participate in the interaction of the family and the establishment of rules. The only child brings many challenges to family relationships, and parents and children need to form an emotional triangle with each other in order to balance family relationships. If a father wants to be good to his children, he must first have a deep affection with his wife.
Fourth, what is important is the child's adolescence.
Fathers who are accustomed to being outside are more likely to accept and identify with their children's independence than mothers. In traditional cultures, fathers are often marginal members of the family, and they are happy to break into the world and leave their children to their mothers. Let the child lose a good leader, so that the child in a dark night like the confusion of the inner confusion groping growth.
If fathers do the above four aspects, it is easy to enter the child's inner world and build a healthy relationship with him, which has a positive impact on the child's lifelong growth.
Fathers influence their children the most is their attitude towards life and their pursuits.
It is highlighted in three aspects:
First, when children encounter difficulties or setbacks, the greatest help that fathers give to their children is to face reality and find ways to overcome difficulties and overcome setbacks.
What children admire most about their fathers is that they don't bow their heads, they don't fear, they don't cry. According to a survey of children, 70% of children admire their fathers and think that they are a great man. In fact, the influence of fathers on children is not all touching big things, often little things.
Rather, when wronged or misunderstood, the father's tolerant and selfless character left a very deep impression on the children. Of course, if you don't do a good job, you will leave another impression.
Third, fathers are optimistic about life, making their children feel very happy.
27% of children said their father was too busy to spend time with them. The children feel regret and at the same time have a strong desire to have time for their father to be with them. The children said that having fun with their mother was not the same as having fun with their father. They think there is such a lingering attraction in their father.
The study found that due to the family economic situation, the father's occupation and education level, the father's personality and social status, etc., the father's form in family education is not exactly the same, therefore, a good father can not be measured by a unified scale, but the most basic requirements are consistent.
Finally, there is another sentence that Teacher Zhang Jian also wants to send to parents and friends: how much time and energy a father has invested in his child's education today is directly proportional to the size of his child's future achievements.
I think for the sake of the future of their children, what parents and friends should do, I think returning to the family should be the best answer.