The essence of poverty is to prevent children from coveting enjoyment;
The meaning of prosperity lies in the calmness and calmness of seeing the world.
A psychologist,
She once wrote about a small incident from her childhood in a book.
She said:
When I was a child, my family was not rich, but my father gave me the feeling of being rich.
"Poor thinking" is not the thinking of "poor people", but the thinking of treating oneself as poor regardless of living conditions.
But the idea that "our family is poor, and we have to save money desperately" inadvertently makes the child miss a lot of scenery that should be more beautiful.
When the child grew up, I always thought that my family was very poor, I needed to save money and save money, and I never calmly enjoyed the convenience and happiness brought by money.
Studying, working and living with such thinking will not only increase many troubles and troubles, but also lose many precious opportunities and friends.
If we want our children to take fewer detours, we should teach them to stay away from the "poor thinking" and open their horizons so that their future can go further.
Nowadays, many parents advocate that their children should be rich. Both boys and girls need to be spiritually enriched. Rich children will still be different from poor children. In what kind of environment, the child's future words and deeds will be affected by that environment.
Poor raising children will bring great problems, but also has a relatively positive significance, no matter how to cultivate children, parents hope that children develop good habits of thrift and thrift, so that children grow into better people.
Ms. Wang's family has very good economic conditions, and in order to avoid cultivating a loser, she and her husband both feel that they should carry out poor education for their sons. Let children know how to be diligent and thrifty in running the family, and can also enhance children's enterprising spirit. They deliberately conceal the home environment, always tell the children that their families are very poor, wear old clothes for the children, and always have rough tea and light meals in their daily diets, hoping to remind the children not to waste luxuries.
However, I did not expect that under the education of her parents, Ms. Wang's son became more and more inferior, and when he was in kindergarten, he was always alone in the corner, and did not dare to play with other children. If you feel that the conditions of your home are not good, you will be looked down upon by others.
In parent-child education, many parents are supporters of poor education, believing that this method can bring great impetus to their children. In fact, on the contrary, the poor support of parents will bring a series of harms to children, resulting in serious problems in children's growth.
What harm will parents' "poor support" bring to their children?
1. Suppress your desires
If parents implement the method of poor support in parent-child education, children will suppress their desires under the lack of such material conditions, and even if they have something they like, they dare not ask their parents. Under this long-term repression, the child's desire will accumulate more and more, and eventually there will be a possibility of emotional collapse. When the child has the conditions in the future, it is likely that he will make retaliatory consumption.
2, do not have a long-term vision
Raising children poorly can lead to children remaining in a state of financial constraint and fear that the economic conditions at home are not good. Such children often behave as non-committal, and there is no long-term vision in doing things, resulting in children's vision not being broad enough. And it is also easy to appear stingy personality, when socializing with classmates, it is very picky, too concerned about the gains and losses of material interests.
3. Withstand excessive pressure
Parents' poor parenting methods can also put too much pressure on children, they can't enjoy a happy childhood like others, and they are under pressure to change their home environment. Under this excessive pressure, it will lead to the child's sensitive inferiority complex, and will also cause the child to have an emotional collapse because of excessive pressure, but there is no way to achieve good academic results.
Education for the poor is indeed very harmful and is not suitable for the current educational environment. However, poor education also has certain positive significance, for example, we can help children develop good habits of thrift and thrift, so that children can become more sensible. It can also enable children to obtain the improvement and growth of their own self-cultivation and become a better person.
Poor children grow up saying these mantras:
1, this thing is too expensive! I can't afford it
Children who have been poor since childhood, whether they are shopping in the mall or eating, the first thing they care about most is the price, they never care about whether they like it, whether this thing is good-looking, the first time is to see if the price is cheap or expensive, because they have been indoctrinated with the idea of frugality since childhood, so they never dare to buy expensive things, always choose something that looks cheap and makes themselves very tasteless.
2, you go, I still have business
No matter what you do, you always have a lot of worries, the reason for worrying is to spend money, whether it is a friend shouting a piece of singing or eating is not going, because a district has to spend money, always find a lot of reasons to be hungry excuses to hide.
3, always spend money, really going poor and crazy
Other people's children are thinking of spending money to invest in themselves and improve their own abilities after making money, while poor children are reluctant to invest in themselves, because investing in themselves spends too much money, so the ability of others is getting stronger and stronger, and they have not made any progress.
Many families choose to raise their children poorly under the condition of good economic conditions, hoping to hone their children's will, and feel that only in this way will he cherish what he cannot get.
So can the choice of poor parenting raise excellent children in the end?
In fact, there are many social cases that you can observe. Many officials arrested and imprisoned for corruption and corruption experienced poverty as teenagers. It is precisely because of the lack of materials from childhood that it is difficult to refuse in the face of temptation.
Parents should know that children who are deliberately poor will grow up with hard wounds that you can't imagine.
The development of a child's character is very critical during adolescence. Jingjing is a little girl who loves beauty, but she always wears clothes that don't fit, which are clothes that her cousin can't wear, and her mother takes them back to her to wear, but it is obvious that she is not too well-fitting. Although frugality is a good thing, the child is small, the understanding will not be very thorough, but feel that they are very different. You will feel that other children are beautiful flower skirts, but they do not have themselves, and it is easy to have an inferiority complex. Parents originally wanted to cultivate her strong will, but instead let the child be psychologically frustrated, and finally it backfired.
Little boy Qiqi is also like this, children love popular toys, he wants, parents do not buy, he can only get together with the children to play together, the young age learned to lower three or four to cater to others. So that he developed this weak character, whether in the workplace or in life, when encountering something, he would rather be wronged himself than cater to the ideas of others. Therefore, parents should know that this unpleasant childhood, the child's entry into society after adulthood also has a great impact on him, which is a pain that cannot be erased in a lifetime.
Children who are raised poorly do not have a correct concept of money after adulthood, and either love money as fate or squander it, which are two extremes.
Children who are deliberately poor are eventually raised poorly
I know there is a question: What is it like to be poor?
A netizen replied: I want but can't want it, and I can't enjoy happiness when I want it, but I feel guilty when I spend money.
Looking through all the answers, I found that children who were forced to be poor because of their poor families, even if they were materially scarce, always breed understanding of their parents.
What is really difficult to let go of is that the conditions are still acceptable, but they still deliberately raise children poorly in the name of being good for you.
Children who grow up in this way experience not only material scarcity, but also indifference and doubt about family affection.
What is terrible is not poor support, but in the experience of poor support, the "feeling of unworthiness" rooted in the heart, and the self-denial of "I am not worthy of being loved".
Ma Jian, an education expert, once shared a case: a girl, raised poorly from an early age, her parents would never buy her things, and always controlled the child to spend money.
When the child grew up, when she reached the age of marriage, once went out with a colleague and saw a crystal ball, she stared at it for a long time, and the boy next to her bought her one, and the girl felt that this was love.
The girl is easily captured by love, and in her opinion, a worthless crystal ball is just a manifestation of love, which is a satisfaction that even her parents have not given.
Later, the girl found out that she had been deceived and that the other party was actually married.
In the child's cognition, love is willing to spend money for me, and if you don't spend money for me, it is possible that you don't love me.
This girl who was coaxed away by a piece of sugar compromised the desire for material things from childhood and the call for the love of her parents.
Poor support is not a big deal, lack of love will have consequences. The most terrible thing about poverty is not the lack of materials, but the derivation of the poverty mode of thinking.
Over time, those children who were raised poorly were eventually raised poorly.
They will unconsciously covet material enjoyment, desire and will be in the vortex of "unworthy, worthless", and eventually miss the good.
Poor, poor and not poor.
Rich and nurturing, do what you can.
It is never poverty itself that makes life difficult.
Whether a child's inner wealth is not about material things, but about a family's attitude towards life.
Children who are unconditionally enriched by their parents are rich and rich in their hearts, can glimpse beauty from flowers and grasses, and meet happiness in one meal and one meal.
If the family economy is very good, there is no need to deliberately raise children poorly, but also do not respond to the needs of the child, appropriate and reasonable is the most critical; if the family economy is poor, there is no need to punch the face and be fat, to let the child realize the difficulties of the family, poor is poor, rich is rich.
Everyone's birth family is different, either living a rich life without lack of money, or poor, or economically moderate. For these parents, there is no need to deliberately hide or change, whether rich or poor is what parents and children should face. But in any case, spiritual abundance must be enough.
What is Education for The Poor?
At the beginning of its establishment, the service target was the wealthy class in the United States.
Parents of wealthy families will deliberately avoid wealth in the process of their children's growth, so that their children are not tempted by materialism.
Wang Jianlin, a famous entrepreneur on the mainland and the richest man worth hundreds of billions, is like this.
His son Wang Sicong grew up unaware that his family was very rich.
Misunderstood Education for the Poor:
After poor education was used by many ordinary families, many drawbacks were produced.
The original educational concept of poor support has been distorted and has become a material mistreatment of children.
In fact, it is never the material that is raised poorly, but the mind.
Children who are raised poorly will form poor thinking, fall into inferiority during adolescence, and it will be difficult to get rid of the growth dilemma after growing up, and may be poor for a lifetime.
Negative Effects of Education for The Poor:
Can't resist the temptation to go the wrong way:
Some little girls, growing up in the countryside, poor families, can't eat well, can't dress well, and are very inferior in adolescence.
Once in society, you may not be tempted, the man is slightly nicer to her, she will give everything away.
The reason why I despise myself so much is simply because I have not received enough love and money since I was a child.
Short-sightedness, can not become a pattern:
There is a person who has a personal website in an era when information is not yet completed.
At that time, a merchant paid ten thousand yuan to buy his website, and he agreed.
Later, he realized that the other party was coming for the domain name.
If it had been preserved to this day, it would have been worth millions.
Why did he sell the website so easily? It is nothing more than being confused by immediate interests.
The fundamental reason why such people have no vision and ignore long-term interests is to be raised poorly from an early age.
Affects social interaction and restricts development:
Children who have been raised poorly since childhood, it is difficult to have friends when they grow up, and in social situations, they will always be the one who is unknown.
This is not conducive to the development of personal careers in China, which is famous for its human feelings.
As we all know, socializing requires money.
Parents who raise children poorly are equivalent to depriving their children of their social rights in disguise, forcing their children to recognize the reality of "I am not worthy", and thus losing their social initiative.
When they grow up, these children will be looked down upon for being overly preoccupied with money.
Should parents raise their children poorly?
The answer is: no!
If parents have limited ability and have to raise their children poorly, then they must also remember that they are limited to material things and must make up for them spiritually.
For example, the child does not have the ability to invite the little friend to drink milk tea, but can invite the little friend to come to the house.
In the spiritual education of their children, parents must give their children enough confidence, so as to avoid children falling into inferiority in adolescence and trapped in the thinking of the poor all their lives.
What is the purpose of education for the poor?
1. Control your child's expenses and save money
Buying toys and snacks is the children's favorite thing, but this is a big expense for parents, the price of children's toys can be from a few yuan to thousands, for these non-essential requirements in life, parents with "crying poor" way can usually be easily solved.
2. I hope that children understand that it is not easy for parents to earn money
Many parents feel that things that are too easy for children to get will not be cherished, and if the requirements for children are easily met, then children will definitely feel that it is easy for parents to make money, and it is difficult to appreciate the difficulty of parents' work. They hope that through the "poor support" of children, children will know how to be grateful and learn to cherish.
Although the poor education of parents seems reasonable and does help parents solve many problems, it also has a certain impact on children's values, just like "water can carry boats, but also can cover boats".
Grasping the degree of education for poor support is the best state
Everything has its two sides, "poor education" is the same, parents must grasp a "degree" when implementing, otherwise, although they see the results that parents want, but at the same time, they have a negative impact on children that cannot be changed.
Many poor children are inferior in their hearts, they often think that they do not deserve to have good things, they do not dare to fight for what they like, and they feel guilty about the gifts or help of others, and this sense of low value will often accompany the child's life.
Therefore, when parents choose poor education, they must pay attention to the grasp of "degree", and do not let the child carry the weight forward for a lifetime because of small losses.
What should parents do?
1. Appropriately meet the legitimate needs of the child
Parents can try to meet the legitimate material needs of their children according to their own conditions, so that children can feel the love of their parents, but for the children's unreasonable requirements or economic disapproval, parents can choose to tell the truth and tell the children the reasons why they cannot meet, rather than using the way of crying poverty.
2. Cultivate your child's correct values
True poverty is not simply about the material scarcity of the child, but the attitude of parents to the child towards poverty. Many children come from families with poor conditions, but they are still optimistic and confident when they grow up, and they do not inferiority or show off in the face of the gap between rich and poor. Parents' values are often transferred to their children, so parents should establish correct values for their children from an early age.
3. Don't overemphasize your efforts
Some parents in order to let the children feel that they have to pay, always frequently "cry poor" to their children, this over-emphasis on the sense of giving will make children feel guilty about their parents, in fact, this kind of crying and poverty also hides the deeper meaning of parents, that is, I have to pay for you so hard, you have to do as I say. In fact, this is not the love for the child, but the control of the child in the name of love.
For the child's education, parents' excessive "poor support" will only make the child become humble, low to the dust, it is difficult to accept the love of others calmly, parents can choose to appropriately "cry poor", so that children can experience the hardships of parents, but the key is to master the "scale" of poor support, do not put a lingering shadow on the child's psychology.
Parents should cultivate their children's correct values, material poverty is actually not terrible, spiritual poverty will make children lose themselves.
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