Author: Creative Group Makino
See a very interesting topic online:
"What is the most likely sentence of a parent to be confused by a teacher?"
Gao praised the answer: "Your child is very talented, but he just didn't study hard." ”
When I was a teacher, I often praised parents from the bottom of my heart that his child was talented in some way, and each time I would say to them with certainty: "Don't worry, you will see the results soon." ”
Until I had a child, in the process of parenting, the old mother experienced the mental process of "my baby is really a genius - just study well - don't cause trouble - healthy growth" after the mental process, only to find out, the truth is so simple?
Parents think that their children are small and talented, which means that they can easily shine in some way.
In fact, it is not, the child's own cognition, the guidance of family education, and the effort of the day after tomorrow, these will affect whether this little talent can eventually achieve great achievements.
The British scholar Bernard once said: "Good methods can make better use of our natural talents, while poor methods may hinder the use of talents." ”
We often say that parents should be good at tapping into their children's talents.
"Little talent" is the germ of this talent. Whether this sprout can eventually thrive depends on how we guide our children.
For example, after finding that the child has an advantage in some aspect, if the parents are guided by the situation, they can let the child's small talent sprout and grow up, and eventually blossom and bear fruit. However, if the seedlings are promoted and the success is quick, it is easy to backfire and fall short.
A little talent is a blessing of fate
In the hearts of many people, jiang Fangzhou, who became famous at a young age, should be regarded as a representative of "small talent".
He began writing at the age of 7, and at the age of 9, he wrote a collection of essays "Open the Skylight", and was admitted by Tsinghua University with 60 points, and became the deputy editor of New Weekly Magazine after graduation.
Growing up in the high expectations of the public, she did not have good works for many years after she became an adult, but was often invited as a guest by major programs, and many people began to question her writing ability and criticize her for being "unworthy".
This "juvenile fame" prematurely consumed her talents, making her unable to cope with the many tests and doubts that came to her when she grew up. As she has lamented in many interviews:
"The world is cruel to small and talented people. Because of the small talent, it means that this kind of person has a little more talent than others in some aspects, but this talent is not enough to support him to climb to the highest peak. ”
Can surpass, but can not reach the top.
I thought I could, but it was hard to do.
One of my students, the composition is very well written, as long as the school organizes an essay competition, she is the first prize without suspense.
Originally, according to the expectations of teachers and parents, she only needed to give full play to the advantages of writing, make more efforts in other disciplines, and apply for literature majors when she went to college, and take root in her writing talent in more fertile soil to absorb nutrients.
Unfortunately, because she overestimated her talents, she did not hesitate to put herself in the writing matter, and abandoned her studies to become a writer. Every day, I am addicted to submitting articles to major newspapers and magazines, but the writing is still relatively young after all, and the accumulation is not enough, and I only receive a letter of rejection.
In the end, her little talent was also consumed in one forced output after another, and she could only wear the hat of "Jiang Lang's talent" to look at herself for a long time.
If you give yourself a little talent by the hand of fate and mistake it for the strength you already have, it is easy to sow the seeds of tragedy.
The reasons are similar, put into our own education of children, you will find: compared to the short-term honor and enjoyment brought to children by small talents, the "difficult to achieve better" brought by only small talents may cause greater harm to children.
As one article says:
"Children with amazing talents can fly at a high level without learning; children without talent do not have to learn, and they can also go forward step by step."
But small and talented children, once they know how to fly, must first walk like ordinary children, step by step, in this process, they must not be overwhelmed by pain, not dragged by inertia, and then they can borrow strength to leave the ground, accelerate and climb, and soar the sky. ”
The so-called genius is nothing more than focusing on the point and zooming into starlight
"Asian Flyer" Su Bingtian, because of his explosive strength when he was a child, was recruited into the school team by a physical education teacher. However, because the results are not outstanding, they have not been valued by coaches for a long time.
Even so, he still takes every training session seriously, never stopping.
It was not until the 2006 Zhongshan Municipal Games that the coach did not find a suitable participant that he remembered Su Bingtian.
It was also this opportunity that allowed Su Bingtian to gallop all the way to the August 2021 Tokyo Olympic Games, with a time of 9.83 seconds, becoming the first athlete in China to reach the Olympic men's 100 meters final.
But the process has not been easy.
For example, some time ago, in an interview, Su Bingtian said that he was not the most talented, and the reason why he achieved his current achievements was inseparable from the efforts behind him.
In the trough, in order to break through, he broke the muscle memory of the right foot start into the left foot start. In order to form a muscle memory, every day when he walks and before going to bed, he will practice this action in his mind countless times.
There is a picture of him and Usain Bolt when he played on the Internet, and netizens commented: the left side is talent, and the right side is hard work.
Compared with ordinary people, Su Bingtian is an absolute "genius" in athletics, but with the real talented player Bolt who often "releases water" on the field, Su Bingtian can finally fight with him, paying more than a drop of sweat and a day and night persistence.
There is a dialogue in the "Language of Confucius":
Zi Lu said: "There is bamboo in the South Mountain, which is not soft and straight, and it is cut and used, reaching the rhinoceros leather." In this way, what is the learning? Confucius said: "The inclusion of feathers, the zú and the lì, is not it also deep?" ”
Simple understanding: Zilu believes that Nanshan has a kind of bamboo, which is straight without processing, cut and used directly, and sharp can penetrate the leather of the rhinoceros. In this way, what else do people who are born with talent need to learn?
Confucius said, "If you take this arrow and attach it to the place where the arrow is sent at the end of the string, and the arrow is sharpened, won't it be able to shoot deeper?" ”
Talent is the blade, hard work and persistence are whetstones, and if you want the blade to be sharp, you can't do without patiently polishing over and over again.
The same goes for children.
Only by being down-to-earth, striving to improve, and amplifying small talents can we become a golden body plated for ourselves after hard work.
Parents are the child's "needle in the haystack"
Previously, because of imitating the teacher's popular Zhong Meimei, Wei Miaoxiao's performance was praised by many netizens as "God chased after the performance genius of feeding".
Even the famous screenwriter Shi Hang couldn't help but comment: "This child kicked me back to my youth with his own strength... I still shudder when I think about it. ”
At the beginning, when a brokerage company came to him with a lot of money and wanted to sign a contract with him, Zhong Meimei, who was still a child, also had a little heart.
But his mother stood up and sternly rejected the agency and told him to focus on learning.
Mother's awakening woke up Zhong Meimei.
Later, he said in an interview: "If you study well, there will be more than a million in the future." To be an actor, at least you must have a cultural literacy, and this kind of thing as cultural literacy, over time, will be reflected. ”
In the end, he also decided: "I don't want to be an actor without cultural literacy, I want to enter the Beijing Film Academy." ”
Seeing his answer, netizens have praised: children who are only 13 years old can be so firm and confident in the face of temptation, and they are too sober in the world.
Sober and calm about their own cognition, not to be confused by the shortcuts brought by small talents, not to be proud of their talents, but also to make this child's future road more possibilities.
Before, in the exposed "make ten thousand a day, earn millions a year" child model incident, there is another kind of parent, they in order to make more money, let the children continue to participate in high-intensity shooting, even shoot until 2 or 3 o'clock in the middle of the night, in order to achieve a good film effect, once the child does not cooperate, they will often scold.
Some people commented: These parents regard their children as business, and the cost of business is their children's childhood.
When the news first broke, there were some child models with trendy hairstyles, talking to the camera about how much they earned in a year and who they wanted to marry when they grew up.
These children, because of the advantages of appearance and camera expressiveness, should be full of innocence at an age, and are brought by their parents to the fame and fortune of the adult world prematurely.
Just like some netizens complained: this is not only a baby, but also a pit baby.
There is a saying: "Parents' cognition is the upper limit of their children's future." ”
In the final analysis, each of us has to pay for our own thoughts and choices throughout our lives, especially for children, so how to guide and help children make the right choices is especially important for parents.
Sometimes, I am not afraid that my child's small talents will not be displayed, and I am afraid that some parents want to achieve it overnight, and eventually let the child become "hurt Zhongyong" and leave a sigh in vain.
The vision of parents is the needle of the sea god that children devote themselves to cultivating,
The pattern of parents is the accelerant for children to go to the next level.
There is an old saying: "Jade is not a tool, it is not a tool; people do not learn, they do not know righteousness." ”
Will the child's little talent eventually be annihilated in the public, or will it shine brightly?
It is not what the child's jade looks like, but the parents, the alchemists.
Luo Xiang once talked about "fatalism" in a video, saying that he was not "fatalistic", but "fatalistic".
Because he feels that "fatalism" means that you are destined to get something, you don't need to work hard, you don't have to suffer, which is a very negative thought.
But the "theory of destiny" is different, it is more of a blessing of fate to life.
A small talent is a blessing of fate to a child.
We parents, after discovering the child's talent in some aspect, rather than having illusions, it is better to guide the child to work hard and persevere as the cornerstone, and bet on the uncertainty of the future on "planning in people, success in heaven".
Thick accumulation of thin hair, in order to wait for the coming day long.
Tens of millions of times of tempering, in exchange for the final bloom of talent.
In this way, the expectation of looking up is low, the more the sinking heart pays, and the child's future road can be more stable and long-term...
Encourage your parents!
Mu Qingye: From 11 years of teaching, senior teacher of China Children's Language Arts Society, in-depth researcher in the field of parenting and psychology, author of 100,000+ explosive articles, and multi-platform contracted author. New Oriental Family Education (ID: xdfjtjy) transmits the concept of professional family education, provides family education information at home and abroad, and shares absorbable and operable methods and suggestions. Make continuous learning a habit for families.