As we all know, children with good academic performance generally have a high degree of concentration ability. But in fact, there are countless parents who invisibly destroy their children's concentration.
Think back to when the child is quietly reading the picture book, do you often can't help but interrupt the child: what are you looking at, come and tell your mother, what is this word pronounced?
The child is concentrating on playing with the puppy, and you will come up to him and say: The dog is so cute, right? Do you like puppies? How do puppies bark? Come on, how about you shake hands with the puppy?
When the child goes to the museum, a person is there to enjoy the calligraphy and paintings, but the parents often nagged on the side, wanting to instill historical knowledge in the child as much as possible, and repeatedly asking the child whether he understood or remembered...
So the question is, why do parents have difficulty in putting their children on one thing?
Quite simply, because when the child is focusing on himself, the parents who parasitize the spirit on the child feel that they have no existential value. Therefore, they often like to interrupt the child and pull the child's attention to themselves again, just to place their hearts that have nowhere to rest.
In fact, if you want your child to have a high degree of concentration, just give him enough security. Because the lack of concentration is often a lack of security.
There are many examples in reality: a small child concentrates on playing with toys, turns his head to find that his parents are gone, at this time, no matter how attractive the toys are, he can no longer concentrate on playing, but shouts out to his mother, he must confirm that his parents are stable, in order to focus on his own development.
In psychology, this is called object stability.
When the child repeatedly confirms the stable existence of the parents, he can internalize the parents into the heart, and the next stable person who loves himself in his heart has the ability to be comfortable and alone, and he can safely put his concentration into things.
This stable existence refers not only to the stable existence of the body, but also to the spiritual existence.
Just like many children will always pay attention to the state of their mother when they eat breast milk in infancy. If the mother focuses on breastfeeding and pays loving attention to the child, the child will be very stable in sucking and will even look up and smile at the mother. But if the mother is distracted from other things, the child will bite the mother's nipple hard, and even cry and refuse to eat.
Therefore, children are sensitive beings, and in order for children to internalize their parents into their hearts and become a source of security and happiness, they need the stable existence of their parents' physical and mental bodies.
Of course, as children continue to grow, they no longer need to occupy their parents too much. Therefore, parents can do their own thing with peace of mind, but they cannot ignore the time to maintain intimate interaction with their children, which is what we often call "high-quality companionship".
And when the child shows a lack of concentration, we should not blindly blame, do not deliberately train the child's concentration, and tell the child that "you focus on writing ten minutes of homework, the mother can play with you."
Instead: leave those rules behind and get involved in intimate interactions with your child.
Because only with such a high degree of attention can we respond to the emotional needs of children in a timely manner. Parents must remember that high-quality companionship, even for five minutes, is better than impatient companionship throughout the day.
Therefore, the child's concentration is not cultivated by the day after tomorrow, but the natural growth of love and free watering, which is the hidden ability in each person's nature, and the only role of parents in this is to care for them with stable and unswerving love.