4 things to remember when you talk to your child

Parenthood is constantly evolving. Our children change so fast, growing, learning, becoming more independent, we must also change. With new ideas, new products, and dangers in the world around us, our communication with children can accomplish or destroy our relationships with them, which affects the way they interact with the world. As a parent, talking to your child can be scary. Even if your child isn't happy with you at the time, knowing that you talk to them in a way that keeps you in your relationship can help your relationship a lot.

As a parent, there are four things to keep in mind when you talk to your child. I organize them in a way that helps you remember important things, even when you're emotionally excited. Keeping communication channels open is paramount. You just have to do TALK.

1 "T" is the tone

When we talk to them, their feelings either inspire our children to ask us questions, questions, and joys, or they make them want to avoid us. A simple tone change can change our relationship with our children.

2. "A" stands for age

The age of the child you talk to plays a big role in how you should talk to them. From infancy to adulthood, your default tone tends to change with them.

For example, when we speak to babies and toddlers, we tend to use a more gentle teaching tone, and sometimes we want to use a more angry or harsh tone for our teens. No wonder teenagers react more harshly to us.

Today's children have more access to information than previous generations, but they may not fully understand what they consume. They may question sensitive topics at a very young age simply because they have been exposed to that information.

It is important to talk to your child about all topics at the right age level. Almost any subject can be broken down into smaller parts, or even into soup (to illustrate this metaphor) so that our children can understand it more easily. Avoid details that they can't understand or don't need at their age.

Age is not the only important consideration. Developmental age is also key. Thinking about what our children can understand will guide us forward.

3. "L" is "listen"

If the only thing we're interested in when we talk to a child is that they listen to us, then we have a problem. We also need to listen to them.

It's a good idea to ask them how they feel about what we're saying. Encouraging them to share their ideas and listen carefully to them can build self-esteem, trust, and understanding.

It's a two-way street. When we listen, we also encourage our children to listen to what we say. Leading by example is much more effective than chattering about what to do and what not to do.

4. "K" stands for "knowledge"

Know yourself, know your child, know what you're talking about. Children often ask questions at the strangest of times. I don't know how many lines parents line up at the grocery store when kids need to know where babies are coming from.

Know yourself

Are you the kind of parent who can easily feel embarrassed in this situation? If so, take action ahead of time for those tricky times.

Do your research. Be prepared to respond in advance so that when something happens — because I told you it's going to happen — you'll be ready.

Know your child

Are they the kind of kids who love to ask questions? Do they need to find out for themselves? Do they keep everything in their hearts?

Answering these questions can help you know how to talk to them. Some children need parents to guide them. Some children need to be alone until they are ready to communicate with their parents in their own way.

For example: Does your child have a challenge like autism? Do they have questions about their own neuros diversity or diagnosis? Before they make a request, research how to talk to them.

Know what you're talking about

If you wait until your child asks you or you feel they are ready to talk about a topic and you don't know the truth, you'll be caught off guard. I think when the pregnancy phase is over, parents sometimes stop preparing to acquire knowledge.

One sensitive topic that will eventually appear in all families is "sexual conversation." A book on how to talk to your child about sex is a good idea. Reading it will be of great help even if your child is now a baby.

We can help our families research topics in advance, how to raise them, when to raise them, the latest science, etc. That way, when the time comes, we'll at least know what we're talking about. The point is, know what you need to know before you need to know.

Bonus: What if you screw up?

Parenting is not perfect. Thankfully, whether we did it right or not, the kids were strong and loved us. Sometimes, we feel like a loser.

apologize

I have an extra piece of advice #5: Apologize.

When you screw up, you have to confess, I can't say anything more than that. Our children need to see that when we make mistakes, we acknowledge that we politely say we're sorry and call attention to where we need to change.

Many times, we continue to live our lives after saying something unfriendly to our children – or worse, making excuses for our offense. This is not true. This is a real parenting failure.

Apologizing to our children builds trust, allows them to see our humanity, and encourages them to apologize when they make mistakes. Again, lead by example.

When we realize and admit our mistakes, the key is to let our children know that we are willing to change. This includes showing them our willingness to work hard to ensure we need to change something. It's okay to let them see your struggles.

Outstanding progress

Finally, highlight the progress. When you see your child doing the right thing, let them know. Let them know that you are also celebrating your progress. Being proud of ourselves is just as important as being proud of our children.

Many times, therapists help adults understand the trauma their parents have left on them by helping them see the humanity of their parents. This allows them to understand their parents' struggles in a new way and often leads to forgiveness.

fall in love

conclusion

Talking to children is the most important thing we do with them. How we talk to them is important. No matter what stage of parenting we are in, preparation is necessary.

From teaching them how to walk, to talking to them when their first heart breaks, our voices will remain in their heads until they find their own.

Using the T.A.L.K method, we can remember to use the right tone, at an age-appropriate level, to listen, to know what we need to know. Talking to our children is effective and the best tool we can use to build relationships.