When it comes to confinement, many women will have a blood and tear account in their hearts. There is a saying: the feud of the moon is not to wear the heavens. It is a bit exaggerated, but the hatred accumulated in the month can really be remembered for a lifetime for women.
The experience of Wu Fei, the eldest daughter-in-law of the Su family in the popular drama "All Is Good" in the first two years, evoked the bitter past of many women. Wu Fei gave birth to a child in the United States, and su's mother, who has retired, is unwilling to wait for her daughter-in-law to sit in confinement, specifically asking colleagues what kind of illness can not take a long-distance flight, and using this disease as an excuse to deceive her son and daughter-in-law. Later, when there was no way, Wu Fei's mother retired early to take care of her daughter at the cost of losing a large amount of pension. Later, Wu Fei inadvertently learned about this matter, although her mother-in-law had passed away, but she still could not let go of her resentment and spread her resentment on her husband.
For women, giving birth to a child is simply a physical and mental disaster, not to mention the hardships of pregnancy in October, just to say that the pain and danger of childbirth are unforgettable. It is not easy, the child is born, and then it has to face the double confusion and confusion of physical recovery and parenting. Usually, women in the confinement experience for the first time in their lives what is involuntary, what is dependent on others for survival, and they will never forget the people who are good to themselves in the confinement, and likewise, they will have fear and rejection of the people and things that make her unhappy during the confinement. This is why the old saying goes, "Moon feud, remember for a lifetime".
The days are long and sometimes end, and the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are endless. At present, most of the mother-in-law is taking care of the woman's confinement, so many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contradictions are broken out during the confinement period, and it is difficult to repair, which is the so-called "confinement vendetta".
How deep is a woman's "confinement feud"? I specially interviewed some people who came over, and after listening to their experiences, I thought that unless the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was particularly good, it was better for young people to save money to ask for a sister-in-law. How many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a lifetime of grievances, which is the end of this time. If you can spend money to buy comfort, don't be vague!
01
No matter when, in ordinary families, money, this common thing, cannot be bypassed. Many women give birth to children and confinement, the in-laws will consider the cost of the problem, usually do not care whether she has savings and income, the consciousness of all the expenses are "the son's hard-earned money".
At that time, the mother-in-law used the excuse that she was not in good health and did not want to take care of Cao Ying's confinement, but she was not happy that Cao Ying's two mouths spent a high price to invite her sister-in-law, and in the case of great reluctance, she finally went to help.
However, Cao Ying's life has not been good since then, although the small two mouths have given enough family, but the mother-in-law is particularly frugal, saying that the ugly point is stinginess, the meal is casual, a few days do not buy vegetables, often leftovers are sent away, every time she goes to the market to buy some chicken and fish, she said that she could not buy, or that the quality was not good. Cao Ying and her husband were angry and complained, and after her mother-in-law knew, she was very dissatisfied with her and even less attentive to her.
Cao Ying's husband bought supplements and baby products, the mother-in-law is always too expensive, behind the scenes said that Cao Ying lost. Once accidentally heard by Cao Ying, who was particularly angry at the time, hindering each other's faces, not calculating in person, but remembering them in their hearts.
02
When He Ling was confinement, her mother-in-law came, but she didn't do anything, didn't share anything for her, didn't take care of her at all, and deliberately said that she was angry with her, and the two people always had conflicts because of small things. The mother-in-law is particularly considerate of her son, seeing what He Ling asked her husband to help with, she said "I come to me, you don't call him", or said "He was tired from a day's shift, come back and let the meeting rest". What makes He Ling even more incomprehensible is that the mother-in-law actually drove her husband to the guest room to sleep, saying that the child's noise at night will affect his rest, and let He Ling take care of the baby alone at night.
He Ling's mother-in-law is also particularly good at provoking trouble, and usually encounters some unpleasant things, always likes to sprinkle anger on her daughter-in-law, and complains about the evil person in front of her son, saying bad things about He Ling. To this end, He Ling often sulked in the month, at the beginning, she would argue with her mother-in-law, complain to her husband, and later, see her husband did not help herself, she did not say anything, depressed all day, silent, slight depression, felt that life was not interesting.
He Ling said that she always remembered how her mother-in-law treated her, and she hated her very much in her heart, not because of her, and she could not get depression herself, although the depression was healed later, but she hoped that she and her mother-in-law could die and not have any intersection.
03
Everyone has a grateful heart, when you are good to her, she will naturally remember your good in her heart, and naturally she will be good to you and repay your good.
But when you treat her badly, or even excessively, she will remember it in her heart, and possibly for a lifetime.
When Zhao Hong was confinement, she wanted to ask her mother-in-law to help, but her mother-in-law used the excuse that her sister-in-law's son was small and could not do without her grandmother, and refused to care about Zhao Hong and her daughter. Zhao Hong actually had the same heart as Mingjing, and she knew that it was mainly because she was giving birth to a daughter and was not welcomed by her in-laws.
Zhao Hong's parents are long gone, no way, she only has a hard scalp, she sits alone in confinement, others may be a few pounds fat when they sit in confinement, but she has lost more than 10 pounds, how much suffering she has suffered, she knows better than anyone. But the mother-in-law also told others that the daughter-in-law just can't get used to it, don't have to pay attention to it, she can also sit well on her own confinement.
Although it has been several years since this matter passed, whenever she mentioned it, Zhao Hong was very resentful in her heart, and the resentment in her heart towards her mother-in-law made her secretly decide that when her mother-in-law was sick and needed to be taken care of, she would not help and pretended not to know.
04
For two generations, it is perfectly normal that the habits of life and parenting concepts are inconsistent.
Yang Xiu's mother-in-law is actually really good to her, when giving birth, Yang Xiu was a caesarean section, and basically the washing after the operation was done by the mother-in-law, and she was also well taken care of, and there was no complaint at all. However, Yang Xiu said that he and his mother-in-law really couldn't get along.
In order to better take care of Yang Xiu and the child, the mother-in-law lived in Yang Xiu's house, when Yang Xiu was breastfeeding, the mother-in-law kept staring at her feeding, and when the baby was milky, she directly started to touch Yang Xiu's chest, Yang Xiu felt very awkward.
In addition, the baby is wrapped thickly by the mother-in-law every day, full of eczema, red and itchy, and the baby often cries. Yang Xiu consulted the doctor, and the doctor said that he could not cover it, but the mother-in-law and husband refused to accept it. The mother-in-law said that in addition to bringing up several of her own children, she also brought up her grandchildren, and she did not lack experience. The husband also felt that Yang Xiu was a bit pretentious, he said that the child's starting rash was very normal, it was better than being sick with a cold, and it was still his mother who was affected when he was sick.
Yang Xiu heard the taste of his "gratitude" and "white-eyed wolf" from the words of her mother-in-law and husband, and her heart was very unhappy.
epilogue:
The distance between people and people is actually not so far, not to mention between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as long as both people know how to give in, know how to tolerate and understand, then they will get along very well and truly become a family.